"I hope he gets fucked by a kangaroo and eaten by crocs." - Liza Minnelli, on ex-husband David Gest doing a Survivor-type reality show in Australia
I'm not sure what the worst fate would be: Getting banged by a Kangaroo, gulped by a crocodile or being married to Liza Minnelli?
It seems like a no-win situation, but regardless the quote does illustrate how ugly things can get when a relationship ends. And most don't finish well because if things were going good then you probably wouldn't be breaking up in the first place.
I can recall driving back after a pub crawl in college with my best friend when we saw huge flames shooting from our West Campus neighborhood. 
I jokingly remarked that I hoped the source was my recent ex-girlfriends apartment complex, and when we walked toward the flames, I soon realized that this was indeed the case.
At the time, I chalked it up to bad karma, however, I do feel this might be have been a bit harsh in retrospect. I also have an iron-clad alibi in case anyone feels like making any unfounded accusations.
Stories like that are the tip of the iceberg when it comes to calling things off with someone.
There can be tears, punches and articles of clothing thrown out of doors. Drunken and slanderous accusations left on voicemails are always popular too.
I always enjoyed a good old fashioned stick-your-tongue-down-some-strangers-throat in front of your ex, which was sometimes difficult to successfully execute and at other times easier than Tara Reid after 3 shots of Jaggermeister. 
Whatever the situation prompted, however, I never brought a kangaroo into the mix. Then again, I'm not from Australia, so it's possible it constitutes more of a geographical limitation than one of the imagination. 
I certainly hope so because when a break-up is really getting sour I would have paid at least $2 to watch a kangaroo have it's way with one of my exes.
And possibly charged admission.
-BDS
LOL!! I don't know why a kangaroo hasn't done that to my ex, although I would prefer to see the crocodile action.
Oh god. Wrong in so many ways...
I feel sorry for the kangas.
damn Blogger! It wouldn't let me comment...bastards.
now I forgot what I was going to say...
I think David Guest is just freaky enough to enjoy the kangaroo.
As far as breakups, my husband had an ex that asked to retrieve some belongings from his apartment, then started a small fire with photos and memorabilia. That's just plain embarrassing. I prefer the "stick you tongue down someone's throat" revenge method ;)
Carmel - I thought you might like this one. Ha. I suppose it might be a toss-up between animals depending no the break-up.
Friday - Wrong, but yet so very right. And if the Kangas got David, I would feel sorry for them too.
Jlee - A little bonfire is kind of funny (since it didn't happen to me) & I agree about Guest. I think my method is good for everyone involved.
Idig - That's a match I would pay money to see (versus most of the boxing nowdays which sucks badly). Loved the Lisa story. That's funny as hell and I can picture it perfectly.
Did I ever tell you the way you write has amazing flow?
Well it does.
And this was hella funny :) I sometimes wish breakups weren't so ugly. I tried to make my last breakup not.... so hideous but the other party refused to give into any calm, humane peace treaty.
I guess I'm just that much of a pain in the ass.
Mahalo,
Sahar.
David Guest is soo yucky, I don't know why she was ever with him.
He is most probably lovers with Star Reynolds husband.
Sheds a whole new and disturbing light on the "kangaroo bop"
HA!
I agree that the real loser in this shag scenario would be the kanga.
Fortunately I've never had a really bad breakup..
**keep fingers crossed and hope I can resist the new eye candy**
;-)
Dr - Thank you very much, and I wouldn't think you were too big a pain. Besides, if you aren't a little bit of one things probably aren't that interesting.
Dreamlover - David Guest is an unholy beast, and I don't even want to think about him and Big Al together.
Kayla - Stay strong & you're lucky about no bad breaks & you're right about Kangaroo bop as that takes on an entirely different and sinister meaning.
hilarious.
You are hilarious
"I also have an iron-clad alibi in case anyone feels like making any unfounded accusations."
All of my break ups strangely enough went rather smoothly. There was no yelling or fire setting, just a simple "you suck" and that's about it.
Anonymous - I try and thank you.
Miss Ash - I do appreciate, but it's probably just been a good week. And I think a good cathartic "you suck" is excellent for the soul. Lucky you.
I kind of like that Liza is displaying her wicked bitchiness. It's funny.
It's funny as hell. She was also really good on "Arrested Development," although not quite as vulgar.