"You've been eating those retard sandwiches again," - Matt Dillon, "Beautiful Girls"
It's Friday again, and the weather is getting cooler in Austin which means more driving with the top down and drinking on patios. But let's see what happened this week before hitting a happy hour as it's only 6 a.m.
Sumner Redstone, chairman of Paramount parent Viacom Inc., fired Tom Cruise this summer, and in the upcoming Vanity Fair issue decides to slam him some more.
"He was embarrassing the studio. And he was costing us a lot of money," Redstone said. Redstone went onto site his wife's opinion of Cruise and said "Paula, like women everywhere, had come to hate him. The truth of the matter is, I did listen to her ..." Redstone says. "His behavior was entirely unacceptable to Paula and to the rest of the world. He just didn't turn one (woman) off. He turned off all women, and a lot of men." 
This kind of talk is what happens when you have a shitload of money and are too old to give much of a damn if you make enemies - it must be a nice feeling (at least the first part).
You might be seeing a lot more of Marcia Cross in the future as the Desperate Housewife threw out a plethora of nude pictures, which some lucky guy then found and is now trying to sell back to Cross or to the highest bidder. 
Will celebrities never learn that the only way to get rid of the evidence is to burn it? Or simply not take pictures or make videos in the first place.
It could be worse, at least she wasn't one of the women who turned up in the Screech sex tape that's about to come out. Small favors.
Sticking with red-heads, Linsay Lohan was forced to dispel rumors of her alleged prudish behavior in a recent interview as Lohan has apparently grown tired of being referred to as demure, refined and classy by the press. 
"Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person. It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship. I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. Anyway, I don't even think I have had my best kiss yet. My mom's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people!"
I would have never guessed that Lohan was sleeping around, but I would bet even money that her mother doesn't care as long as the checks keep rolling in.
Tyra Banks keeps trying to be the next Oprah, but the problem is that she's not nearly as articulate or choosy about when she opens her mouth and she recently decided to drop some raps on her talk show that she wrote when she was a 13-year-old. 
With lyrics like "I'm 5' 9", I look so fine, yes all my fellas are so divine" and "If you and I meet you will not stand, get on your knees and kiss Ty's hand," Banks threw down in front of Ludacrious and her audience.
And I think she probably wrote those lyrics last week, and just claimed they were from her teenage years to cover her ass.
Courtney Love is crediting Mel Gibson with helping her get sober. 
Love related a tale about how Gibson "kept coming to the door with this cheesy grin going, `Hi!'" she told Diane Sawyer and that Gibson would not allow her to keep getting high with a group of men in her hotel room.
Eventually Gibson took the men "out for a cheeseburger" and left behind Warren Boyd, an addiction counselor who deprived Love of the drugs and group sex session that was scheduled for the evening.
Gibson's rescue was obviously prior to his own DWI arrest, subsequent slandering of jews throughout the world and Love failed to mention if he called her "sugar tits" during the intervention.
But enough about distasteful things like orgies gone awry, and let's end with a steller image that works for me on a Friday (or any other day of the week for that matter) 
. . . So put on your best hat and garters, send all pictures to 2 Dollar Productions and Happy Friday!
-BDS
Whole lotta retard sanwiches being served up with this group, obviously! I have to like Courtney for the train wreck that she is though. Who else can we make fun of for letting random men suck her boob at fast food restaurants? Oh, I'm not sending you any pictures that you can sell to "The National Inquirer" later buddy! ;)
When I wrote my novel six years ago, the love interest was described as looking like Tom Cruise. I've now changed him to a Denzel Washington lookalike, which means I am praying the real Denzel doesn't do any couch-jumping or other weird shit. My literary agent is having a hard enough time selling the damn thing.
As for those lingerie pictures, at this point I'm so old it would be considered fetish porn. Bleah.
Happy Friday Cookie!!
Jlee - Don't worry we would only sell them to classy outlets like Hustler for instance. Ha.
Wendy - Good move on the changing the character's description as it's amazing how quickly things can change, eh? And we don't discriminate about the pics, and you can see from the above comment that our judgement is beyond reproach.
Nobich - Right back at you.
love your lindsey lohan analysis!
and as i have said many many times (mostly to the television when i'm flipping through the channels) HOW DOES TYRA HAVE A TALK SHOW? What kind of ladies are sitting around watching a supermodel always deflecting the conversations of her guests - to herself!!! When she has a guest on, you know he/she is only get to say about 2 lines - MAYBE more if they have something to do with TYRA.
Who watches that crap?
Man.
What ever happened to Jenny Jones.
Now THAT was some classy shit....
;D
p.s.
like the photo of you in the tub.
i feel like sending you random photos of drunk people in bathtubs with weird hats vs. bowlers and garters!
Gotta love LiLo's honesty. I mean, cause everyone in her age group sleeps with lots of people. You know instead of dating that is how you get to know someone. She is every parent's dream.
anyone who has to give a magazine interview to announce they're doing anyone they can get their hands on (unless, of course, it's "bad") is an automatic pain in the ass.
you know i'm partial to the school teacher, but hat girl works, too.
I think Wilmer V done fucked up poor Lindsay more than we know. I almost feel sorry for her
Cassie D - We'll take random bathtub pics as well, so fire away. And Jenny Jones is way superior to Tyra who rattles on and on about herself no matter who the guest/topic is and seems to be getting crazier by the day.
Sarcastic - To be fair, I don't think her parents were role models either as her Dad's in the clink and her Mom still wants to be and acts like a teenager. Pitiful all the way around.
Julia - I know your fondness for higher learning, but I agree that this hat girl would still be at the head of the class - just maybe not teaching.
Idig - I think Wilmer done that to a lot of ladies, and yet he still continues to get more than his fair share. The world is an unfair place a lot of the time.
put on a hat and send all pictures to 2dollar! lol that's a classic.
Oh Courtney love is sober? Oh sure :)
There's nothing funny about as I'm still expecting some pics . . . I'm sure Love would send them.
Ludacrious wrote the lyrics, wait no some Canadian on staff wrote it. I see a Canadian, 2 guys from the mid-west, s joint and 15 minutes of serious head storming!
Warren Boyd seems like a real party pooper! Groups sex and drugs with Courtney! WOW
Speak of sex with that skank, I am going to see Dave Grohl tomorrow. Lets just hope he never went there...for my sake anyway!
Have fun with Dave, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's been there and back - when you get two rockers together the chances they had sex go through the roof.