Two Weeks or So . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Thursday, September 16, 2010 13 comments

Given the limited output around here the past few months, it seems even more lame that I have been forced to take a temporary hiatus for a few weeks.

Nothing bad has occurred - just the opposite - but nonetheless I desperately need a temporary leave of absence, and like a blind man at an orgy, I'm going to have to feel my way around. Real life that is.

{Editor's Note: Above view from rooftop deck}

I will return, and look forward to catching up on what I missed at the blog stops I enjoy a hell of a lot.

Here's to a few good weeks for everyone as things slide into fall . . .


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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, September 10, 2010 10 comments

“Aloha, Mr. Hand” – Sean Penn, ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High'

It’s the end of summer, and yet, somehow Jeff Spicoli’s summer vibe came to me this week, probably due to Penn’s involvement in QHF.

Anyway, it’s finally stopped raining in Austin and it should be 95 degrees and sunny this weekend, so before I hit the office by 4 pm, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

The best story of week featured Britney Spears who was sued by a former security guard who alleges in a sexual harassment lawsuit that the pop star emotionally scarred him by exposing herself, insulting him and threatening to fire him over a Slurpee. Awesome.

Fernando Flores is seeking an undisclosed amount for being "humiliated and traumatized" by Spears.

In the Los Angeles Superior Court lawsuit, Flores claims Spears "made repeated unwanted sexual advances" and summoned him to her room at her house "for no other purpose or reason than to expose her naked body or near-naked body."

The Slurpee incident supposedly occurred on the way to a screening of ‘Alice in Wonderland’ when Spears asked Flores to fetch her a Slurpee. When he told her there was a 15-minute wait, she allegedly snapped, "I want my [expletive] drink! God! I'm gonna fire your ass!"

To me, this seems like a dream job: Sex and Slurpees and Spears, so I don’t really get what Flores is complaining about – just bring Spears a Slurpee and screw her on occasion and you probably get a nice, fat Christmas bonus.

Sean Penn and onetime Haitian presidential hopeful Wyclef Jean were feuding this week as Jean accused actor of doing cocaine.

Penn had previously called Jean a "non-presence" in Haiti, was called out by the singer while Jean was singing the song "President." Jean changed the lyrics of his song to say, "I got a message for Sean Penn: Maybe he ain't see me in Haiti 'cause he was too busy sniffing cocaine."

A rep for Penn said: "Mr. Jean is clearly unfamiliar with the physical demands put upon volunteers in Haiti. As aid workers there, the notion of depleting the body's immune system thru the use of illicit drugs is ludicrous. More specifically, J/P Haitian Relief Organization (a.k.a. JPHRO) has a ZERO tolerance policy for any and all illegal drugs. As the leader of this organization, Sean Penn has not only set this policy, but adheres to it. That Mr. Jean would make such a false accusation is reckless and saddening, but not surprising."

Penn added: “And that shit didn’t even rhyme! That ain’t no song.”

Angelina Jolie spoke out this week and condemned a Florida church's threat to burn copies of the Koran to mark the ninth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks.

"I have hardly the words that somebody would do that to somebody's religious book," Jolie told reporters in Pakistan, where she is visiting to help with victims of the recent floods.

I have the words, however, and most of them revolve repeatedly around “ignorant” “dipshit” and “morons.” The Church, not Jolie.

Lady Gaga's September cover of Vogue Hommes Japan will feature the singer wearing only a meat bikini. Seriously.

PETA has chimed in on the Terry Richardson-shot cover, saying "meat is something you want to avoid putting on or in your body," and that "no matter how beautifully it is presented, flesh from a tortured animal is flesh from a tortured animal."

refuse to speculate about how much meat Lady Gaga has actually put inside her body by this point in her life because I am a Gentleman.

Heidi Montag took to Twitter Tuesday to discuss her routine for keeping her breast implants "soft."

"Giving myself a soft tissue breast massage," Montag, 23, wrote. "Ladies we have to keep those breast implants soft."

My message to Montag: Don’t discriminate against Gentlemen when it comes to this chore as I’m an altruist at heart and more than willing to lend a helping hand. Or two.

In other reality show news, a U.S. judge warned "Jersey Shore" reality star Snooki this week that she was acting like troubled actress Lindsay Lohan, and also sentenced her to community service for disorderly conduct.

Snooki had pleaded guilty in August after she was arrested in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Police said she was being disorderly on the beach and was bothering patrons.

"It appears your recent celebrity has affected your judgment," judge Damian Murray told Snooki. "You seem to be acting like a Lindsay Lohan wannabe," Murray added.

This story really shows just how far Lindsay Lohan has fallen: She is now being mentioned in the same breath as Snooki.

It was announced this week that British television host Piers Morgan will replace talk-show host Larry King when King retires later this year.

The name of Morgan's CNN show has not been announced but it is being billed as a "candid, in-depth newsmaker interview program" based in New York.

Morgan’s first interview will be with an expert hired to explain to everyone just who in the hell Morgan is since I have absolutely no clue.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

I'm all about friends, especially if they are female and partially clothed. So, good luck finding some of those today, try your damndest to make this happen and . . . Happy Friday!


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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, September 03, 2010 9 comments

"Natural law. Sons are put on this earth to trouble their fathers.” – Paul Newman, ‘Road to Perdition’

Great line. Great Blu Ray transfer of that movie. Very good – though not quite great – film. Oh well, it was fun to watch it again after so many years, and it is always good to see Paul Newman.

Since it’s still hovering at 100 degrees in Austin, I plan to do some of my laboring inside this long weekend, but before I hit the door by 3 p.m. – screw it – let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

It was a damn slow week in Hollywood, but the big news was Paris Hilton: More specifically her cocaine arrest in Las Vegas this past weekend.

On Monday, Hilton was charged with felony possession of a controlled substance, and she is set to be arraigned Oct. 27.

It happened like this (from Las Vegas Police files): After Paris Whitney Hilton and her boyfriend Cy Waits were pulled over in the Cadillac Escalade they were driving, they were taken into the Wynn Hotel because she was "extremely embarrassed" by the gathering crowd and she had to "use the bathroom badly."

At the hotel, Paris needed lip balm, so a policeman handed her a purse and out fell "a small bindle" of cocaine. There was also a "broken tablet of Albuterol" -- a prescription medication used to control wheezing -- in the bag and Zig Zag wrappers, commonly used to roll marijuana joints.

Hilton claimed that the purse and the cocaine were not hers, and that she had
"borrowed it from a friend."

Hilton also told the Police she didn’t use the cocaine to get high, she just liked the way it smelled.

A few days later, it was announced that Paris Hilton was banned from two Wynn resorts on the Las Vegas Strip.

Wynn Resorts Ltd. spokeswoman Jennifer Dunne said Hilton is barred from Wynn Las Vegas and Encore.

This sounds like a Wynn-Wynn situation to me (ouch) for the resorts since Hilton never eats anything inside them and only gambles when she uses the public restrooms inside the hotels.

Lindsay Lohan sent a cease and desist legal letter to her father – Michael Lohan – this week ordering him to stop selling her personal property, reported.

Lohan accused her father of attempting to sell her private diary entries she wrote while in drug rehabilitation at Cirque Lodge in Utah, in 2007.

It was really just the same entry repeated over and over again on different days, and all of them read: Tried to turn my toilet bowl water into Vodka again today, but still tastes totally gross.

Conan O'Brien announced the name of his upcoming Late Night show on TBS this week – it will be called “Conan.”

"Conan" debuts Nov. 8.

The title is sure to infuriate a small but vocal legion of fans who tune in Nov 8th and expect to see Conan the Barbarian, however, O’Brien has agreed to wear only a loin cloth for his first week on the job to ease the burden.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

I love some nice leggings and the rest of the body is fine with me as well. So, don’t bother crossing your legs today, never feel bad about getting a firm grip on yourself and . . . Happy Friday and Happy Labor Day Weekend!


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