2 Dollar Productions

"I could never live in Austin. The girls are too pretty and the dope is too cheap," - Steve Earle


In a show of reconciliation for our recent sniping, my brother and I have cast aside our differences and united for a recapping of the most important events in the world this week.

My brother fashions himself a rogue political expert turned pseudo-philosophical bullshit artist, while I am a humble humanitarian, blogger and ponderous thinker.

I beg to differ as it's closer to an egomanical jack-ass who can't afford a shirt, but let's move onto some real news like . . .

Hilary Duff can rest easier as prosecutors charged a New York teenager with stalking the pop star and making threats on her life.


Maksim Myaskovskiy, 18, pleaded not guilty to the felony charge at his first court appearance Tuesday. At the request of prosecutors, his bail was raised to $1 million.

Police failed to mention Myaskovskiy's motives, but it might be retribution for her role in foisting this past summer's putrid shitbomb "Material Girls" with her sister, Haylie, onto an unsusptecting public.

In an otherwise banner week for Britney Spears, a judge has thrown out Britney Spears' lawsuit against celebrity magazine Us Weekly ruling the pop star cannot be defamed by published rumors about a sex tape with K-Fed.

Superior Court Judge Lisa Hart Cole said Spears has "put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye" and it would be unlikely for the magazine article to be found defamatory.


The judge obviously turned a blind eye to Spears' interview with Matt Lauer this past year, which featured about as much sexuality as an octogenarian antique convention.

Kirstie Alley dropped by on "Oprah" this week to chat about her weight loss (75 lbs and counting) and show off her new bikini body.


I think it's great that Alley dropped the weight and seems much healthier and more confident, but it couldn't have been too hard to change the cycle she was engaged in prior to the shedding of flesh as she used to consume:

"Twenty sugar-free Popsicles. Twelve grape sodas. Chips. Two burritos. A tostada. I was eating six, seven, eight thousand calories a day," Alley said to Life magazine. "I had a holiday mentality. I ate with wild abandon."

I prefer to love with wild abandon - I’m a lover not an eater. But seriously, nobody can eat that much everyday and not be fat as a cat - nobody.

In a case of weird player weirder (or maybe the other way around) Christopher Walken will reportedly be playing Ozzy Osbourne in a cameo appearance in forthcoming film The Dirt, based on the Motley Crue autobiography.


Typically, Walken can't be beat in a question of bizarre behavior, but he might be trumped by Ozzy. Maybe. Whomever the winner may be, it's still a good casting call in my book.

The first half of the new season of "Lost" concluded Wednesday before returning in February to air the second half with no repeat episodes to be found.


I actually prefer this format to keep momentum, however, the second half better get somewhere faster than the initial part because I finally feel like we're no longer making much progress and am starting to wonder if the writers painted themselves into a corner that they cannot get out of.

Reese Witherspon and Ryan Phillipe are also divorcing posing the question: If a Hollywood couple gets divorced and nobody cares, does it still count?



But let's end with something a bit more pleasing to the mind and to my idea of safety:


Suddenly, we feel we might be in need of some saving, although we're not sure from what, and if a rescue did occurr then something would definitely happen faster than a speeding bullet, but let's not get bogged down in details . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS & JWS