{This is the second of what will be a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too much beer at the Draught Horse Tavern in Austin, TX with my brother. Tonight, for instance 2 pitchers of Young's Winter Warmer were bought and paid for triggering strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}
- Even if your bumper sticker is clever as hell, it still makes a nice car look cheap
- When I meet someone inside the office break-room before 9:30 a.m., I don't really want an answer to my perfunctory "How's it going" question
- Always remember that 98% percent of other people don't find you nearly as fascinating as you find yourself
- For pure homo-eroticism at its finest, you couldn't pick a better sport than wrestling. 
- I love a well-formed back, especially the small part, on a woman for reasons I can't entirely explain
- If you played "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison between certain years in the 80s/90s you were getting some serious action because it was like Spanish Fly for girls
- It's vaguely reasonable to name your penis if it makes sense such as Capt. Hook for someone with a curved member, but naming your balls goes too far and means you have too much time on your hands
- Outside of stadium or ballpark, it is never acceptable for one man to slap another man on the ass.
- You know what they say about guys with giant feet . . . They look like clowns (and I wear a size 11 by the way)
- James Patterson is a hack. You can't turn out a new book every 3 months with any kind of quality control at all.
- Earlier this week, my brother took a cheap shot at me which was fueled by petty jealousy as well as the secret shame of being a worse example of a Never-Nude than Tobias on "Arrested Development." All that manly flesh that was exposed on this site has been like pouring salt into a fresh wound, which was obviously too much for him to bear. But you can help. Please send all donations in care of 2 Dollar Productions because you can make a difference.
-BDS
YES, Thank you!! Validation for my hatred of James Patterson. I thought I was the only one.
I always think its funny when you give penises English (british) names like Mr. Belvedere or Geeves.
Gotta go now. Me and Higgins need to go take a squirt.
hhahaha...tell it like it is, Viking Man! Us readers like a little "manly flesh" every now and again. Not so sure about the wrestling, but...
I really would love to be a fly on the wall one of these drunken bathing nights. The segue from bumper stickers to the break room to wrestling to James Patterson must have been fascinating ~ or at least Highly amusing.
Idig - I was hoping I wasn't the only one, and this has been bothering me for quite awhile. I wash my car about as frequently as Patterson churns out books (if you can call them that).
Jlee - I knew it, and I will take every chance to rub it in my brother's face (not literally of course). And I cannot stand real wrestling, and I used to love the fake stuff as a kid; now not so much.
Bostonpobble - It's a round-table of opinion, topics and pure crap. But all in all, quite a good time.
Perhaps Viking Man can have his own weekly show from the bathtub?
I know people in tv... ;)
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If the price is right . . . And it will definitely be more expensive than $2.
It's all about negotiations.
Man, the Poison gang looks pretty rough there..but that song was pretty potent.
Did you see the Sat. Night Live show where Dane Cook was hosting?
He was talking about launching cashews off his penis? haha
He gave a vague demonstration, and I kept wondering when the producers were going to suddenly cut to a commercial, but they let him play on through.
Surprising!
Hey- I found U, I lost your site for a bit!
Poison WAS 'spanish fly' hahahaaa!
Haven't seen 'em in many yrs., wonder what they look like nowadays?
size 11, huh?
' ]
Kayla - Surprising indeed. I saw part of that SNL bit, and I remember thinking roughly the same thing (in addition to how difficult it would be to actually launch a cashew from your penis). But it's late-night TV, so I guess they get more leniency.
Starbender - Nice to see you back and it feels good to find something that was lost, eh? At least I hope so in this case.
And Size 11 with a bullet. Ha.
yeah and about as often as I change my underwear ;)
I was actually going to use that line before the car wash thing, but ultimately chose the latter. My mistake.
And I meant to mention earlier that English names for your penis work well - damn well.
No hook here as it's straight as the day is long, an expression that works all the way around. Ha.