Mendocino & Me . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, March 30, 2010 15 comments

For a long time now, I knew that I wanted to take a trip by myself once the right opportunity presented itself. It took awhile, but this past week, I took off for Mendocino on a solo journey meant to clear my head after I fought hard for a few weeks off between leaving my old gig and starting on a new one.

It's a rare thing indeed when something you have built up in your mind actually exceeds your expectations, but my trip was even better than I imagined it could be.

I chose Mendocino because it's a small town flanked by the ocean, and surrounded by a wealth of national parks and trails to hike through. If you do it right, there are more trees than people by a wide margin, which is exactly what I was seeking. And that's what I found too.

A typical day looked like this:

7 a.m. - Wake up

7:15 a.m. - Grab cup of Nitro coffee at Moody's & walk down to a stump by the Headlands National Park that opens up to the ocean and traces the perimeter of the town

7:15 - 8:00 a.m. - Drink coffee & watch the sun rise & the fog burn off the trees to the East while the waves crashed against the cliffs below

8:15 a.m. - Back to the room to read the San Francisco Chronicle provided by the lodging.

8:45 a.m. - Eat large, delicious breakfast provided by proprieters inside my room. Drink more coffee.

9:30 a.m. - Drive in rented convertible Mustang with top down to hiking trail close to town.

9:45 a.m. - 12:45 a.m. - Hike through huge redwood trees and the utterly silent forest and see a grand total of 2 other people the entire time.

1 p.m. - Drive back to town.

1:30 p.m - Sit outside in the sun on picnic tables at Mendo Burger and eat a burger w/ pepper jack cheese & bacon with a side of fries doused with cajun seasoning and a root beer.

2 p.m. - Pick up another cup of coffee at Moodys & Drive to another hiking trail or park.

2:30 - 4 p.m. - Hike.

4:30 p.m. - Back to town, shower.

5 p.m. - Drink glass of wine from several bottles purchased a local wineries early into the trip & read a book in the garden in front of the place I was staying.

6 p.m. - Eat dinner at Mendocino Cafe or the Moose Cafe.

7:15 p.m. - Watch sunset & walk around town.

8:30 p.m. - Glass of wine & read until fall asleep from exhaustion.

Rinse and Repeat for 5 days & that is what I did & it never grew old - at least not for me.

I needed a complete brain purging, and a frontal lobe enema is exactly what I received. It helped recharge the batteries. It forced you to rely on yourself for entertainment. It allowed you to drop out of the world, if only for a little while.

I never once got on the Internet during my stay. Nor did I watch any television. It wasn't necessary or wanted. But now, I'm back and trying to catch up since just because you drop out of the world, it doesn't mean that the world stops wanting a piece of you.

My main take-away was that I can't wait to fall out again: when the time is right.


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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, March 19, 2010 16 comments

“Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left.” – George Clooney, ‘Up in the Air’

I’ll try to remember that truism this weekend when I depart for Mendocino on a solo trip to do some hiking, and clear my head before starting a new job come April. I’m looking forward to it - the trip at least.

But before that can happen, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

People magazine reported this week that Sandra Bullock has left the Southern California home she shares with husband Jesse James after alleged rumors surfaced that James cheated on Bullock.

Bullock's rep has not commented on the In Touch Weekly story that broke the affair story, and the article quoted tattoo model Michelle "Bombshell" McGee as saying she had an affair with James last year.

James was rumored to be especially sneaky with his affair - he only cheated with McGee when he was planted firmly in Bullock's Blind Side. Ouch.

Charlie Sheen pleaded not guilty to domestic violence charges on Monday following a holiday 911 call from his wife to Colorado police in which she told them that Sheen had put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her.

The plea was entered by Richard Cummins, a Colorado attorney who represents Sheen. The star of "Two and a Half Men" on CBS is charged with menacing, criminal mischief and assault.

Richard 'Dick' Cummins is being charged with provoking unintentional laughter from the judge due to his name.

Reality star Heidi Montag announced this week that she will make her big screen debut in an upcoming Adam Sandler comedy titled “Just Go With It.”

Montag will have a cameo role in the romantic comedy. She posted on her Twitter page: "I was just cast in my first feature film comedy! I start filming Monday!!!!! This is one of the best days of my life!!! Getting ice cream to celebrate."

"Ice Cream" is Montag's code word for "Plastic Surgery."

Montag's husband, Spencer Pratt, is reportedly taking a break from the "The Hills" to fight cyber terrorism. Seriously.

Bill Beasley, president of American Defense Enterprises, a firearms training firm in Los Angeles, told that he and Pratt are in the "beginning stages" of negotiations to start a cybersecurity venture.

"He's always been very patriotic," Beasley said Monday. "What you see on television is not him. He's moving out of the Hollywood portion of his life."

Pratt told People magazine: "Upon learning of President Obama's declaration that the 'cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,' I have decided to refocus my energy and devote my full resources to helping America face this and other unprecedented challenges."

Pratt's first cyber mission will be to stop the spread of viruses associated with surfing for pornography.

Kate Winslet has split from her film director husband Sam Mendes, a British law firm said Monday.

The couple separated at an unspecified point earlier this year, Shillings law firm said, and it wasn't clear whether divorce proceedings have begun. The pair have been married since 2003 and have two children.

In a statement e-mailed to journalists, the law firm said the split was "entirely amicable and is by mutual agreement."

Meanwhile, Mendes said the split was indeed mutual "if you consider the Titantic hitting the giant iceberg as a piece of mutual understanding."

Paula Abdul was said to be finalizing a deal this week to help ABC launch a new version of the TV show ‘Star Search.’

The network isn’t commenting, but Abdul would reportedly juggle a combination of hosting and judging duties for the show, which could debut this summer.

ABC wanted to Abdul to host the show so contestants wouldn't be intimidated by an actual Star.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

Something sweet on the lips works for me, and it's hard to argue with a feather boa in any situation. So, let the feathers fly today, don't be afraid to let things get sticky and . . . Happy Friday!


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Bathing With The Drunken Viking . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, March 16, 2010 14 comments

{This is the 33rd entry in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits. Yesterday, I celebrated an impending new job offer with pitchers of Harp, which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}

• Never gamble with anybody who answers to a nickname

• Anyone who grew up in the 80s still wants to be a Goonie.

• Never use someone else’s joke at a party if the originator is also on the guest list

• Easy writing makes for damn poor reading

• Never order the special at a restaurant when they fail to mention the price

• A pea coat is a really terrible name for an otherwise good coat

• Summer is for screwing, Winter is for sleeping

• Nobody has ever bought any item found inside a Sky Mall magazine

• The more exotic the hide on a person’s boots, the less interesting that person will be if you talk to them.

• A full tank of gas always provokes a good feeling.

• When the captain on an airplane turns on his cabin microphone, he rarely has anything good to announce

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” – Henry Lawson


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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, March 12, 2010 17 comments

“When you side with a man, you stay with him! And if you can't do that, you're like some animal, you're finished! We're finished! All of us!” – William Holden, “The Wild Bunch”

I watched ‘The Wild Bunch’ on Blu Ray this week, and it holds up pretty damn well. It also features a healthy body count.

Anyway, I can certainly appreciate the concept of loyalty even if my own allegiance is predominately owed to finding a patio downtown to have a drink by 3:30 p.m., especially since the sun is shining and it’s about 70 degrees. But before that can happen, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Rapper Lil Wayne arrived at Rikers Island prison in New York City on Tuesday to begin serving a one-year jail term on a weapons conviction.

Wayne, 27, whose real name is Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., chose not to speak at his sentencing on Monday. With good behavior, he could be out of prison in eight months.

But in that 8 month time period, Lil Wayne is really hoping he doesn’t meet up with Big Mike in the shower room.

Lindsay Lohan slapped E-Trade Financial with a lawsuit for $100 million this week, The New York Post reported, as the actress is claiming that E-Trade's latest advertisement about a "milkaholic," boyfriend-stealing baby whose name is Lindsay is modeled after her.

Her lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said: "Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit. They used the name Lindsay," Ovadia said. "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."

Ignoring her delusions of grandeur, I still don’t get Lohan’s identity hijacking claim: It’s not like E Trade made their baby a coke-sniffing, part-time lesbian, full-time party girl - choices which might have confused the issue. The fact that both like breast milk is largely coincidental.

Charlie Sheen will report back to work on the set for "Two and a Half Men" next week after undergoing rehab his publicist confirmed.

Last month, Rosenfield announced that Sheen had voluntarily entered a rehab facility "as a preventative measure."

The real downside here is that Sheen’s return means that new episodes of the show will be filmed and then forced onto the public at some future date and time.

Conan O'Brien announced on Thursday a live comedy show that will tour U.S. and Canadian theaters starting next month.

The 30-city tour, titled "Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television," is set to start April 12 in Eugene, Oregon. It will travel to Vancouver and Toronto in Canada, as well as major U.S. cities. Billed as "a night of music, comedy, hugging, and the occasional awkward silence," according to O'Brien's website.

Conan spent seven months as host of the "The Tonight Show" on NBC, a position he took over from Jay Leno.

O’Brien plans to play the same theaters that Leno also uses during his stand-up act, but anticipates performing for only half as many people each night.

After a popular online petition kept circulating to recruit her, it was announced this week that Betty White will appear on ‘Saturday Night Live’ in the near future.
White confirmed this to People magazine at Elton John’s annual Oscars viewing party.

When asked by PEOPLE, "Are you doing ‘Saturday Night Live?’," she answered, "Yes," even if she remains perplexed by the groundswell of support. "I don't know why or how," she says, "but it's been wonderful."

I’ve got no joke for this one – I love Betty White. She’s always been Golden to me . . .

And speaking of golden, let’s end with an image or two:

A little ink on skin can be sexy, and a deserted kitchen isn’t entirely a bad thing either. So, don’t be afraid to mix the kitchen with the bedroom today, keep things tidy wherever you are and . . . Happy Friday!

{Editor's Note: R.I.P. Corey Haim}


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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, March 05, 2010 16 comments

“Let the wild rumpus begin!” - Max Records, “Where the Wild Things Are”

I generally like to announce this same thing whenever I enter a party, my bedroom or a massage parlor. Today, I will probably keep that sentiment to myself, however, as I merely want to survive and then head for the hills.

But before I hit the door by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Naomi Campbell allegedly beat on her chauffeur Tuesday as she repeatedly hit him in the head with her fist from the back seat of her Cadillac Escalade as the car drove through NYC.

The driver – Miodrag Mejdina – received a bruise under his left eye, according to police sources. The altercation supposedly occurred when Campbell became furious that Mejdina, who also has chauffeured her boyfriend, refused to tell her whether her boyfriend was cheating on her, sources said.

Campbell's spokesman, Jeff Raymond, said, "There shouldn't be a rush to judgment. Naomi will cooperate voluntarily, and there is more to the story than meets the eye."

It’s really just the same old story: Cambell is just one violent bitch, albeit an attractive one.

The new cast of ‘Dancing with the Stars’ lineup was announced this week, and Jon Gosselin was reportedly angry that Kate Gosselin will be taking part in the show.

“Jon’s angry because doing ‘Dancing With the Stars’ will keep her away from the kids for days, and she still won’t let him have any extra custody,” a source close to Jon Gosselin told Us Weekly. “Nannies will watch them instead of Jon.”

In other Jon Gosselin anger news, it was reported this week that Playgirl magazine would offer him substantially less than it did to Levi Johnston when he did his pictorial shoot.

“We discussed it, and we’d offer him only $20,000,” Playgirl rep Daniel Nardicio told Life & Style magazine.

Jon should really cheer up because that figure still pays him approximately $1,333.33 for each of his 15 minutes of fame, and those minutes have long since expired.

The Smithsonian Institution, America's repository of historical artifacts, rejected the donation of the suit that O.J. Simpson wore when he was acquitted in 1995 of murdering his ex-wife Tuesday, and deemed it inappropriate for their collection.

The announcement came after a California judge approved the donation as the solution to a 13-year court battle over the tan suit, which has been held by Simpson's former sports agent, Mike Gilbert and contested by Fred Goldman.

"The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History will not be collecting O.J. Simpson's suit," it said. "The decision was made by the museum's curators together with the director."

The Smithsonian must be holding out for the White Bronco instead.

Jessica Simpson was on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ this week, and complained about John Mayer talking about her bedroom exploits in his recent Playboy interview. Sort of.

"I don't want people to know how I am in bed!" she told Oprah. She continued: "I'm not angry," Simpson said, then reconsidered and said, “I'm -- well, I'm a little bit angry."

But she did admit that she’s getting more dating prospects from the interview.

"My phone is ringing off the hook, I have to say," said Simpson.

The only problem is that all the callers sound suspiciously like Joe Simpson with slightly altered voices.

Megan Fox told Harper’s Bazaar magazine for their next issue that she’s not nearly as promiscuous as she’s been portrayed in the media.

"I've only been with two men my entire life," said Fox. "My childhood sweetheart and Brian." Fox has been dating (and engaged to) former ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ star Brian Austin Green on and off since 2004.

She continues, "I can never have sex with someone that I don't love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I've never even come close to having a one-night stand."

I’m not sure what’s the most disturbing news: that Fox doesn’t enjoy one-night stands or that her limited number of partners includes David Silver from ‘90210.’

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

The winter is ending in my part of the world, but there is still snow on the ground in other places. So, enjoy the weather whether sun or snow, roll around in the mix and . . . Happy Friday!


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