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What Scares You . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, October 31, 2006

In the spirit of Halloween, I thought today would be a good day to face my fears, admit my shortcomings and tackle these issues head-on so that terror will not hold any sway over the course of my daily life.

A good first step, and one that any self-help book is likely to suggest, would be cataloging my litany of fears.

They include (and in no particular order of importance):

1) Snakes
2) Dick Cheney


3) Quicksand
4) Pinky rings
5) Excessive small talk
6) Cannibals
7) Everclear


8) Mutant vegetables


9) Chyna


10) Freemasons


11) Ritual floggings


12) Log cabins
13) Mrs. Butterworth


14) Spandex
15) Wal-Marts

This is not the end of the list, but I see no reason to rattle myself on a day where I have work to do, and thinking about walking into a Wal-Mart and coming face-to-face with Mrs. Butterworth wearing spandex while waiting to take me to her log cabin and ritually flog me, while the Freemasons sit on mutant vegetables and twist their pinky rings symbolically and discuss the weather is a thought too horrible to ponder.

Of course Dick Cheney would be pulling all the strings to the whole sordid affair.

So what scares you? - And Happy Halloween.

-BDS

21 comments

  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. you crack me up. this was a great start to the day and although the combination of those images was not on the top of my list (beginning with rats), I can see that being slightly unnerving

     
  3. Lucy Says:
  4. HAHAHA. That's pretty hilarious. Stick nasty little green caterpillars in there at some point and you've got yourself a darn good list.

     
  5. Anonymous - I don't much like rats either. Thanks.

    Luce - That's kind of funny as caterpillars never scared me too much, except for that one from Alice in Wonderland. Creepy caterpillar.

     
  6. JLee Says:
  7. 1. vomiting
    2. cancer of any sort
    3. trying on bathing suits in crappily lit dressing rooms
    4. David Hasslehoff

    I think they're all self explanatory...

     
  8. Sherry Says:
  9. Things that scare me:
    Bugs. They creep me out more than they scare me ... all of those little legs crawling over you ... those antennae, moving, feeling out ... eek, ack!
    Funnily enough, I'm not afraid of spiders.

    Happy Halloween!

     
  10. Jlee - The last one your list could easily cause the first to occur.

    Sherry - Right back at you, and I can't say I'm a fan of bugs either. But they definitely fall below snakes, alligators and sharks in my book.

     
  11. Kayla Says:
  12. ~Mr. Clean
    ~Clowns
    I had this horrible dream when I was little..a giant scary Bozo type clown was peering into my bedroom window
    Ever see that movie "It"?
    ~Creeping kudzu
    Which is unfortunate, since I live in the south..
    ~Ninjas
    Another long standing nightmare
    Happy Halloween!
    Check out the photo on my blog..

     
  13. nobich Says:
  14. Clowns!!!definitely!!! mimes eek & of course quicksand. that was always a big one when we were younger now of course there's not much quicksand around. oh well faced that one.

     
  15. Kayla - I read "It" and also saw the min-series and that clown is awfully damn scary. The Mr. Clean and ninjas made me laugh, however, I've never trusted the gleam in that bald guy's eyes.

    Nobich - See above clown commment and I'm glad not to be alone with quicksand. But don't get too comfortable - it's still lurking out there.

     
  16. Melissa Says:
  17. Cockroaches and anything to do with the Wizard of Oz. Between the melting green witch and those damn flying monkies I needed therapy.

     
  18. Melissa, must have just missed you in cyberspace, but those flying monkeys scared the hell out me.

    Damn flying monkeys.

     
  19. Aaron Says:
  20. Brown Recluses
    Hillary Clinton
    Kim Jong Il
    My gas bill this winter
    Electrical surges
    EMP
    Oprah

     
  21. Jackie Says:
  22. 1. Dying alone.
    2. Ghosts/ Shadow people
    3. Planes
    4. Talking stuffed animals, seriously. They should not be talking. They freak me the hell out.

     
  23. drëâmè® Says:
  24. Ahhh Wal-marts scare the shit out of me too! Geez... they're so fucking...... GRRR humongous and... everywhere I go there's a new one appearing.

    It's an epidemic.

     
  25. Dreamlover Says:
  26. wow 4.32 AM, that is an early start to the day.

    What scares me?

    Bugs, especially cockroaches, eek!

     
  27. Aaron - I'm with you on the Brown Recluses, electrical surges and Kim Jong. But what is EMP?

    Jackie - I think those talking animals on commercials (like that bear in the fabric softener commercials) are a tad creepy. And you're way too young to worry about dying alone, so push some of those others up on the list.

    Dr - They are slowly taking over the world; much like the Freemasons. Maybe there's a connection.

    Dreamlover - Another bug fear. Well, everybody has their thing and while I don't like them very much I figure I could always just easily squish them. That being said, if I was bound and gagged and being buried in bugs that would be a whole different ballgame.

     
  28. What scares me?

    (1) Being the meat in a Tipper Gore, Lynne Cheney sandwich.

    (2) The fact that asswipes like Rush Limbaugh cant actually see beyond their own hypocrisy

     
  29. Anonymous Says:
  30. Ohh PURE GRAIN was BAD!!!!

     
  31. Idig - I like sandwiches, but that one sounds like pure hell. I don't blame you.

    Girlbehind - It's never a good idea, but a lesson you have to learn the hard way.

     
  32. Aaron Says:
  33. EMP = Electro-Magnetic Pulse. Like what was used in 'the Matrix' to kill the droids that were attacking the ship.

    It's released most often from an atomic blast, but can also be triggered by other devices. It basically sends out a huge amount of electromagnetic energy (light in all spectrums) and (due to the photo-electric effect) renders all electronic devices useless.

    It's not really a rational fear, but I guess most of my fears aren't rational anyway.

     
  34. Thanks for the explanation, and in my book fears are often not particurarly rational, which doesn't make them any less scary.

     

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