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Food + Sex = Greatness (Sometimes) . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, October 24, 2006

This past Friday, I mentioned Lindsey Lohan and Keira Knightly and the hope that an upcoming movie would feature an extended scene that included the pair frolicking with a giant tub of whipped cream.


I still like the visual.

That is likely wishful thinking as these kinds of scenes don't appear with great regularity.

Food-related sex scenes do occur, however, as "Wild Things" featured a phenomenal motel tryst between Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell and Denise Richards that found Dillon pouring champagne between Richard's saline-enhanced breasts and lapping it up like a parched golden retriever while Campbell pawed at everybody.


I believe the French refer to it as ménage a trois.

A similar theme emerged in "Leaving Las Vegas" as Nic Cage's alcoholic character is aroused when Elizabeth Shue takes the reigns and pours a generous amount of bourbon between her breasts, which Cage then proceeds to suckle on like starving wolf pup.


Unfortunately, Neve Cambpell is nowhere to be found at their particular motel.

But the pinnacle film that combines two of my favorite pastimes - food and sex - into one incredibly satisfying whole is "9 1/2 Weeks."


This is the movie where Mickey Rourke plays a sleazy East Coast stock broker who meets, seduces and perverts Kim Bassinger's art-house worker until she finally throws in the towel and refuses to play anymore of his sick sexual games.

But before that point, there is a very memorable scene that involves Rourke feeding Bassinger pretty much everything in the refridgerator to get her in the mood. Rourke had strawberries (good idea), a jalopeno (bad idea) and somehow even managed to have a jello mold on hand for the occasion.

I guess there is always room for jello, but still . . .

Anyway, after feeding Bassinger a cornacopia of treats, Rourke smears honey near Kim's honeypot before proceeding to get down to the actual sex part of the equation.

This was a fun scene to watch, but some of the choices that were made always bothered me as the honey was particularly problematic because it would just be awfully damn sticky and also inevitably lead to a thorough scrubbing of your pubic hair following the session.

A friend of mine once told me that he did an impromptu re-creation with one of the foods being some tiny pork sausages that he had grilled the previous evening. I just looked at him.


This was just nasty. Although I like pork sausages, I don't like the breath that it would give you or your lover. The only way it makes sense is if my friend wanted to create a misleading sense of proportion so when he whipped out his love sausage (couldn't resist) later on that it would appear much bigger that its actual size (and no I haven't seen it).

In my book, you definitely get points for original thinking, however, the best food accessories I've ever found have been champagne and strawberries because they seem vaguely decadent and leave you smelling and tasting like something you want to devour.

And if you do it right, that's always what happens next.

-BDS

15 comments

  1. JLee Says:
  2. Boy, it seems too early to read this post right now!
    hahaah.."tiny pork sausages" and sex don't seem to go hand in hand...lol
    Of course my mind then goes to George Costanza and his submarine sandwich.
    I think 9 1/2 weeks had probably the best scene of all those. I have a few such stories which will remain a mystery to your readers ;)

     
  3. Miss Ash Says:
  4. I can't recall a time where i have ever used food...oh wait, there was that time when i was alone and with that big cucumber...KIDDING of course!!

    I would imagine honey would be rather bothersome, however, if you are bare down there then i guess the whole "it will get into your pubic hair" would not matter.

     
  5. Jlee - That's fine if you don't want to write about, some pics will suffice just fine. And I almost mentioned the "Seinfeld" episode, however, I find that funny and not so sexy. But everyone is different.

    Miss Ash - Kidding, eh? I thought about the whole hairless thing, and while the chances for women would be pretty decent, I think most men who aren't porn stars still keep a little fuzz down there.

     
  6. SamuraiFrog Says:
  7. You know what goes great with strawberries and champagne? A little chocolate Cool Whip. You can imagine where it goes.

     
  8. nobich Says:
  9. Lemon yogurt is good & good for you!!!!

     
  10. Kayla Says:
  11. Man, you had me almost falling out of my chair on this one!
    Your metaphors are hilarious.
    That scene in Leaving Las Vegas was sexy and sad

    No matter the size of the "love sausage", leftover meats and lovemaking are a bad combo! haha Champagne, strawberries, and maybe a little chocolate syrup..

    I haven't seen 91/2 weeks...
    Did they play ring toss with that jello mold? ;-)

     
  12. Definatley 9 1/2 weeks better than the Naked Gun version of food + sex.

    Probably better than the Costanza version as well... although secretly snacking on a sandwich in the middle of coitus does sound intruiging.

     
  13. SamuraiFrog - I think you just might be onto something with that one.

    Nobich - Lemon is a good flavor too, but it does remind me vaguely of doing the dishes which isn't so sexy.

    Kayla - Thanks as it took me quite awhile to cram so many metaphors into one post. And you should definitely check out "9 1/2 Weeks" sometime - depending on your mood.

    Idig - I forgot about that Naked Gun scene, and I love that series. And although I also love a good pastrami sandwich I think I will leave it out of the bedroom. Unlike George C.

     
  14. Dreamlover Says:
  15. Food and sex just don't appeal to me, licking food off of a hairy man, ewww!

    And sausages and sex, yup reminds me of George when all he really wanted was to eat, lol

     
  16. threesomes don't always involve two WOMEN, ya know!

     
  17. JLee Says:
  18. woo hooo! I second that! lol

     
  19. Dreamlover - Maybe you just haven't found the right combination as of yet.

    Nancy Drew - They do for me (although I am inherently biased).

    Jlee - Ha. See above comment.

     
  20. Sherry Says:
  21. Strawberries and cream - always a fab combo,
    but my dear you are forgetting that there's a whole line of "body foods" just for these lusty purposes.
    A personal favorite of mine are the Chocolate Body Paints. Oooh, talk about finger licking good ... ummm, or err ... so I've heard

     
  22. Melissa Says:
  23. Strawberry ice cream was created specifically to be licked from the navel.

     
  24. Sherry - A good point, and I hate to sell anything or any product short. And I'm sure you just read that description somewhere, eh?

    Melissa - I like strawberry ice cream and navels, but am not sure what I'd do with the rest of the neopolitan (sp?) flavors as that's usually the only time I had strawberry ice cream as a kid.

     

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