"How's the smut business Jackie?" - The Dude, Jeff Bridges "The Big Lebowski"
It's a new month so that must mean that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are looking to expand their family by adopting several more babies by next year.
Pitt admits the couple are desperate to adopt as many children as possible from around the world. He said: "I'm not joking around. I have three kids now and by next year, I'll have six. Nine. We're looking at a soccer team. I want to compete in the World Cup."
I tend to like Pitt and Jolie, and while I think it's great that they're giving these kids from around the world a good home through adoption, I still have the sneaking suspicion they are out to form their own mini United Nations assembly or possibly just give Jolie a different kid to match her outfit when they venture out in public.
And rumors are also swirling that Jennifer Aniston was dumped by Vince Vaughn with the glare of the spotlight and Aniston's neediness being the reasons cited.
Who knows if this is true or not, but there is something about Aniston that appears less than comfortable in her own skin. This is obviously a knee-jerk, dime-store psychoanalysis job, however, it seems true and this is far from an attractive quality in my book (and I like Aniston just fine).
I do not get the infatuation with the Olsen twins as they are about as hot to me as a group of retirees sitting around in the Florida sun. They already dress the part of old women too as those ugly shawls and giant sunglasses on stick-figure frames do less than nothing for me. 
When they're not dressing in crazy layers, they typically look like malnourished extras walking around at a poor Scarborough Fair production. Fashionable my ass.
These pics of Anna Nicole and her attorney getting married (not legally) were sold to People for $1 million, which is $999,999 more than I would have paid for them as they manage to look filthy and forced at the same time. 
It's been awhile since I've been excited about seeing a movie, but I do want to catch "The Departed" this weekend. DiCaprio and Damon should do well, but it's Nicholson who will likely catapult the movie over-the-top with his unhinged performance as an underworld kingpin who supposedly engages in snorting cocaine off a woman's ass during a threesome and unleashes fearsome violence on his off-hours. And Scorcese directing doesn't hurt matters either. 
Finally, Austrian authorities recently discovered the body of a man who apparently died in his bed at home FIVE years ago. 
The corpse managed to go undetected for so long because his rent had been paid by automatic order from his bank account. Neighbors said there was no strange smell coming from the apartment and authorities who found the body said his body appeared to have ”mummified” and was well preserved.
This is why in the far reaches of my mind, I'm a little bit afraid to masturbate while I'm alone because if I happened to somehow expire during the best part, it would be quite an embarrassing situation.
This irrational fear presents a huge problem because masturbating is typically an activity that is best performed solo with someone you love.
Not always, but . . . Happy Friday.
-BDS
I always liked Angelina better than Jennifer - she's about half a gnat's ass off nuts and that makes her more interesting.
Would someone kindly tell Anna Nicole in very small words using a soothing tone that her goddamn 15 minutes are UP!
Definitely looking forward to The Departed. The cast is so huge that it can't help but be brilliant.
I've always wanted to snort coke of a male whore's ass...
I think being dumped by your husband for one of the most gorgeous women in the world and her subsequently becoming pregnant and being flashed all over the magazines would send me to the nuthouse! lol
Jen needs to go find the hunkiest youngest supermodel boy toy, sell a sex tape of the 2 of them, then get knocked up. Call it therapy!
I think "Departed" is gonna be good. With that cast, you ALMOST can't go wrong.
Don't worry about the solo activities..as long as your heart is ok and you don't try any crazy "belt around the neck" shit, you'll be fine. ;)
I never knew Tone Loc attended the Anna Nicole wedding. I always wondered what he's been up to since Funky Cold Medina.
Melissa - I'm with you on Jolie, and I think anyone worth their salt at least enjoys the visual of snorting some coke off a hookers ass - be it male or female depending on your preference.
Jlee - I think you should send your idea to Aniston's publicist immediately. And my ticker is just fine with a belt only coming into play for its normal function; to keep my pants up.
Idig - Loc still looks damn good after all these years of doing the wild thing. And now he gets to witness the wedding of Anna Nicole. The man is on a roll that never stops.
I think Pitt and Jolie make quite an attractive couple, but I do wonder about the desire for a soccer team. Of course, since Pitt wants them to do it like Beckham and supposedly contacted him, but not really, about helping to teach Maddox soccer, who knows.
Jennifer Aniston needs to find a real man who can put up with all the stuff in her life and get her pregnant.
I think Howard and Anna look incredibly uncomfortable together. Plus, the timing of it all is very suspicious.
I'm also very excited for the Departed....it looks great and I am a fan of Martin's.
My question about the corpse is this...did he not have ANY friends or family who were wondering "hey where the hell has george been for the last year?"
Never be afraid to masturbate. Words to live by.
Happy Friday!!
I used to be mildly amused by Anna Nicole, but now I want to barf at the sight of her. Her kid just died. How can she look and act like that? My 18-year-old, who'd forgotten her cell phone, was two hours late coming home last night (she has a long freeway commute) and I was close to freaking out.
Maybe I'm too attached my kids, but getting fake-married is the last thing I'd do if something happened to one of them.
Barf, barf, barf.
Sarcastic - I saw that Beckham story as well, and it must be nice when you've got the connections and the cash to do things like that.
Miss Ash - That's a very good question as this guy must have been a hermit or something if nobody noticed that he hadn't been heard from for 5 years.
Nobich - That should be a bumper sticker as it is stellar advice & happy Friday indeed.
Wendy - Barf is good word to describe her as she is just a mess with her priorities in the toilet, yet she seems to dumb to ignore completely. I'm not sure why this is the case.
My thoughts are only good for bumper stickers lately
oh well
"Just Do It...You won't go blind!" hahah
I don't like anna nicole or the olsen twins. I do like brad and angie because of what they do for the children, that is if they are genuine of course.
Nobich - There's money to be made in bumper stickers.
Jlee - Don't worry as I disproved that theory years ago, but I do like the Nike slogan used for other things.
Carmel - I'll give Brad and Angelina the benefit of the doubt for now.
Jenni222 - It's true as I just don't see the infatuation. I mean, I know they're twins, but . . .