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Nudity = Bad Acting . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, October 16, 2006

Jessica Alba is easily one of the best-looking actresses in Hollywood, but I can't say that I was overjoyed to see a quote from her in the latest issue of Elle magazine (and no I wasn't reading Elle to find it) regarding her stance on cinematic nudity.

"I don't do nudity. I just don't. Maybe that makes me a bad actress. Maybe I won't get hired in some things. But I have too much anxiety," Alba said.

Doing nudity doesn't make you a bad actress, but turning in poor performances in even worse movies certainly doesn't help. A quick scan through Alba's resume includes such gems as:

1) "Into The Blue" - Utter malarkey and as bad as Josh Brolin's facial hair in a movie whose sole redeeming feature was Alba strolling around in a bikini for the better part of the running time. To be fair, Alba was acting against Paul Walker who doesn't exactly require you to raise your game a level.

2) "Fantastic Four" - A critical bomb that looked so bad from the trailer that I refused to watch it, however, I read that Alba was easily out-acted by Michael Chiklis who was hidden beneath about 300 pounds of foam to play 'The Thing.'

3) Idle Hands - An evil hand does bad things to people around Dewan Sawa. Enough said.

The only movie I remember where Alba's acting was sharp, and the film also was worth watching occurred in "Sin City," where Alba plays a good-hearted pole dancer. She might not do nudity, but I guess ass-less leather chaps and a cowboy hat don't produce nearly as much anxiety.

From personal experience, I would concur. Don't ask. But the money was worth it.



  1. JLee Says:
  2. I have to agree with this...I only liked her in "Sin City" (great flick) Of course, now that I think about it, I didn't see any of the other movies you mentioned! Don't think I missed anything...

  3. It is interesting that showing off your rear end is never equated with nudity, unless your a nun. And have a taken a vow against it.

  4. Jlee - You're not missing anything, and you would only lose two hours of your life and $5 by renting any one of these flicks. It's not worth it.

    Sarcastic - I don't know why the butt gets a special exclusion clause - for nuns or anyone else.

  5. Alba was in the episode of Entourage that I saw tonight. Technically, I dont know if what she did was considered acting since she played herself, but regardless, she was good... and more importantly she looked hot,

  6. SamuraiFrog Says:
  7. Jessica Alba's a fucking idiot. She spends the entirety of "Into the Blue" slutting around in a bikini and sticking her ass into the camera, but she thinks getting naked is going too far? Right, because she's gotten by so far on her incredible lack of talent, not her perceived hotness. I'm sure her body hasn't helped her get where she is at all.

  8. nobich Says:
  9. Idle hands- wasn't that the movie with Seth Green it was funny/stupid but I don't remember her being in it.

  10. Dreamlover Says:
  11. lmao! These actresses get on my last nerves, she hasn't been in anything where I would call her a good actress.

    Cute - yes
    nice body- yes
    dumbass- yes


  12. Idig - She always looks hot, and I remember reading she was on an episode, but never saw it. Can't argue with her looks.

    Samuraifrog - I'm sure it played no role whatsoever. And all the ass-shaking in the world still couldn't make "Into the Blue" watchable.

    Nobich - I don't know if Seth Green was in it or not as I only remember seeing about 10 minutes of it on cable late one night.

    Dreamlover - I agree 100% on all points as obviously having a good body and looks doesn't equate with talent. It never did.


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