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Narcoleptic Or Can't Handle His Drugs . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, October 02, 2006

What kind of stubble-faced baboon gets high and falls asleep hunched over the wheel of his car twice in one year?

If you picked George Michael, you would win a prize because the former Wham! singer and current solo artist could sure use a Father Figure to tell him that I would put no Faith in Michaels ability to handle the Freedom of drugs well enough to get the monkey off his back or at least have the chimp drive him home safely, and not leave Michaels passed out in his car like an overgrown kid who stayed out past his bedtime.

In a virtual embarrassing-detail-for-embarrassing-detail repeat of the singer's February arrest, Michael was again found slumped over in his car in London early Sunday.

Michael had been clubbing earlier in the night, and was only a mile away from his house when he decided to take a nap on his steering wheel before police were summoned to the scene.

"There was a concern a mix of drugs and alcohol may have had a bad effect on him," a spokesperson for London's Metropolitan Police told the paper.

Unlike the February arrest, Michaels wasn't in possession of a plethora of sex toys this time. Small favors.

According to the Mirror, cops had found a small amount of marijuana in Michael's pocket and arrested the singer on both possession of the drug and suspicion of being unfit to drive under the influence.

Michael's partner, Kenny Goss, told reporters that Michaels singer "has nothing to say" about the arrest.

"He's fine and I've got him a McDonald's," he said.

Goss later added that after scarfing down a double cheeseburger, a 6-piece McNugget and two of McDonald's delicious soft-serve ice cream cones that the singer requested a late night showing of "Gladiator" before falling asleep face-down on a bean-bag made from duck feathers and vinyl.

Just another Sunday night in the life of George Michael.



  1. Lucy Says:
  2. Just thought you might like to know (if you didn't already) that you reported on the Stars-Looking-Nasty-in-HDTV issue even before Yahoo! got to it! Nicely done!

  3. That was to funny. I used to love George Michaels when I was younger. Why do they have to turn to drugs once they fall off?

  4. Anonymous Says:
  5. where is the chauffeur? isnt that part of the fun of being so darn wealthy (apart from the drugs, ha ha- jk)- not having to worry about getting home?

  6. JLee Says:
  7. I am just nauseated thinking I went to see him in concert and used to swoon over him (before I woke up and smelled the coffee)...BARF!

  8. Melissa Says:
  9. Good scheme with the songs worked in.

    I have to admit that when the energy is flagging on the treadmill I perk right up if Faith comes on.

    "Well I guess it would be nice..."

  10. Luce - Thanks for that news as I had no idea, and it feels good to be on the cutting edge of pure fluff.

    Trina - I think they were on drugs when they were younger too, but you get sloppy when you age.

    Anonymous - Good point. Or take a damn cab if you're too screwed up to make it home.

    Jlee - You weren't alone as he was huge as one time. This was before he stopped making catchy music and became a punch line, but still . . .

    Melissa - Faith is a damn catchy song, and who that's a great line about "if I could touch your body." Who knew he was talking about some guys at the time? Details.

  11. Miss Ash Says:
  12. Nice play on words in the 1st paragraph ;)

  13. Kayla Says:
  14. Damn! Must have really had an attack of the munchies to scarf down all the junk food.
    That boy needs to grow up and enjoy his wealth in other ways.
    And stay at home if you're going to do drugs and pass out!

    Gay or otherwise,I notice he is not on anyone's top 5 list of celebs to cheat with.
    Yeah..passed out with slobber running out the side of your mouth is so not sexy ;-)

  15. nobich Says:
  16. no driver? what??

  17. Miss Ash - Thanks as it was all downhill once I wrote that part.

    Kayla - I agree that Michael needs to find some new ways to have fun, and he should bring the party to his place is he can't make it home before passing out. As for the slobbering thing, only a small percentage of the populations finds this sexy and I wonder about them anyway. And I made up that last part about his order at McDonald's in terms of full disclosure.

    Nobich - I'm starting to think that Michael just enjoys passing out in public, and is purposefully not hiring a driver.

  18. What a surprise that a little McDonald's took the sting out of getting arrested. Plus, it took care of the munchies. Everyone should have such a thoughtful significant other as I can say if I picked up my significant other in this state for the second time I think he'd be getting a boot out the door rather than McDonald's.

  19. I think that Kenny Goss must be the most understanding sig other in the world or the most pathetic, and I can't decide which is correct.


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