"Ain't it funny how liquor and the flicker of a candle
Makes you see if from a different view
I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman
But I sure woke up with a few," - Bobby Bare
Everyone has standards, although some are obviously higher or lower than others.
This is especially true about people who we might consider dating, fooling around with or marrying. These choices can be as complex and razor-tight demanding as completing a lucaractive business deal, and much like any potential agreement, there are deal breakers that can ruin the whole thing like a fart in a car.
Over the years, I developed a few of these moral absolutes that I tend to live by, but this list is constantly in flux because things can be added or subtracted (unlikely) at will.
And they don't even revolve around looks that often because appearance is an immediate visceral reaction, however, most of the deal-breakers occur after the initial attraction stage.
BDS's Absolute Deal-Breakers:
- Using the word like way too many times in like such a short sentence or something like that
- Hair in the ears
- Any woman with bigger arms than me
- Someone who wears sunglasses in a dark club who didn't just come from the eye doctor or else she better be so smoking hot that she needs the shades all the time to hide from her fans.
- Owning more than 6 pets of any given species inside one household (this doesn't apply to those living on farms)
- Good friends with Dick Cheney
- Lapses into a British accent at dinner parties for no apparent reason
- Can't adequately appreciate the talents of Mickey Rourke
- Cannot spend more than 90 minutes getting ready to go out unless it is an extremely formal occasion and even then the results better be worth the wait
- Has an imaginery friend who never left after elementrary school
- Summer teeth - some are straight, some are crooked, some are missing, etc.
This is only a partial list, but it seems to grow larger with each passing year. I'm not sure if my standards are more exacting or if I'm just becoming more of a misanthrope, however, I refuse to apply labels and will continue to say no thanks to anyone boasting these attributes.
We all have our standards, eh?
-BDS
Jesus Effing Christ I cannot wake up to that picture of those teeth!!! There's shit in the Geneva Conventions about unlawfull torture, man.
And as much as I hate the man, find his personal code of morals and ethics lacking any substantive value whatsoever and truly believe he is the anti-christ -- I love the sound of Dick Cheney's voice.
hahaha..those are good ones! My sister and a good friend of mine had the "dental work" deal breaker. That's all we had to say was "dental work" and we knew what was up. I told a guy one time that a deal breaker for me(big one) was if a guy had been with another man and I found out he had! AAAAAH Good thing I found out sooner than later...
Deal Breaker LOL
My list involves teeth.
The last one said I had good teeth.
Teeth are very important.
That list makes sense in my eyes.
A man i date must not:
Wear overalls, sweatpants or cowboy boots.
He must not have a mullet and if he has long hair i'd have to take a look at it first. I'm not a fan but there might be an exception.
Teeth are also very important to me, so summer teeth, some are here some are there don't fly with me.
As well he must not use words such as "retarded" that's a deal breaker for me.
"- Lapses into a British accent at dinner parties for no apparent reason..."
I may have done that, but it was supposed to be funny. Plus, I suck at doing the accents, which makes things worse.
My deal breaker?
Hm... He must have good taste in music. ;)
I know, good test in music is very very subjective.
Mahalo m'dear,
Sahar.
I meant taste not test. I have a test tomorrow, so yeah it's all I can think of.
At the age of 41 I've been married for almost 23 years. There are still deal breakers just in case something happens. This is sort of sad, but high on my list...
If a man doesn't like football, all bets are off.
LMAO, now I know why i'm single, it's my teeth!
This list doesn't seem too harsh to me. Who could possibly ever date anyone with hair in the ears?
Hair on the back is nearly as bad. A major No No.
I agree with Miss Ash--a mullet is definately a deal breaker.
Melissa - That is a gnarly thing to wake up to, but at least it probably shocked you into full consciouness (sp?) quicker than a cup of coffee. And I'll take your word about Cheney's voice as I can barely look at the man.
Jlee - I wish you would expound upon your deal breaker, which doesn't sound good to me. I am, however, willing to admit that there are different strokes for different folks, so . . .
Girlbehind - Teeth are vitally important.
Wendy - I should have clarified as I meant lapsing in and out of one with no hint of irony or humor.
Miss Ash - I agree with all, especially the mullet, but I do think there is a time and a place for a good pair of boots. I do live in Austin.
Dr - I think musical taste is a good one, although highly subjective as you noted. And I think the accent thing is fine as long as it's for laughs, and a bad accent usually gets them.
Sarcastic - I'm a bit biased here because I do like football, so actually, I agree 100 percent.
Luce - I would think back hair would be a turn-off as well, but I would think you would have a soft spot for mullets considering your personal experience with knowing those who sport htem.
Far out those teeth would scare me each and every day.
My list certainly involves good clean teeth.
It was funny to read your hair in the ears one, I haven't seen anyone with hairy ears.
I think your list is very reasonable.
I have:
farted in a car
possibly over-used the term 'like' when non-comparing items
own a 50 gallon fish tank with more than 6 fish
lapsed into not just one fake accent, but many different new and exciting versions of old ones
cant say i even know who mickey is
and many may think i have an imaginary friend because sometimes i talk to myself
honesty is the best policy
Carmel - Thank you as I believe my list is too & it seems that teeth are high on nearly everyone's list.
Blonde Vigilante - I just wonder how the ADA discovered that fact.
Tracy - Honesty is usually the best policy, but I've found that is not always the case. That being said, the big fish tank sounds really cool & you should immediately go rent "Diner," "9 1/2 Weeks" and "Sin City" to see who Rourke is and what he's done.
Don't forget Pope of Greenwich Village!!!
A fine choice even with the addition of Eric Roberts in the movie.
"Must know the word 'misanthrope' and be able to use it properly in a sentence."
Is it too early in our relationship for me to say I love you?
Mickey Rourke? i only liked him in Barfly.
he and Eric Roberts are on MY list of standards.
althought you're right about Sin City. I loved it when he showed his "mits"
Hell it's never too early and I happen to love the word misanthrope and only occasionally misuse it.
Cassie D - Don't sell Rourke short, but you're right about the mits.