In two ground-breaking new studies that would have profoundly benefited Jason Biggs' hapless and horny character in the "American Pie" films, scientists recently announced that there might be an on-demand cure for the prevention of premature ejaculation.
The drug is dapoxetine, a short-acting selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor that has been in regulatory limbo since the FDA issued a "not-approvable" letter last Oct. 26.
Those bastards at the FDA are always keeping the important drugs out of our hands, although I hold absolutely no personal interest in the matter, but if you happen to run into Kim from my 9th grade Algebra class don't believe a word she says because she has the morals of a goat and lies like a rug. 
Anyway, my concern is purely scientific as this sounds like it could help couples all over the world with results like these:
Of 2,614 men (mean age 40.5, range 18 to 77) with moderate-to-severe premature ejaculation, 870 were given a placebo, 874 took 30 mg of dapoxetine, and 870 took 60 mg of dapoxetine as needed, one to three hours before anticipated sexual activity.
At baseline, 1,623 (62%) of the men ejaculated under a minute after penetration, with mean values much the same across the groups. according to the intravaginal ejaculatory latency time as measured by stopwatch. Mean intravaginal ejaculatory latency time at baseline for the three groups was 0.90 minute (SD 0·47), 0.92 minute (0.50), and 0.91 minute (0.48).
I'm no Dr. Ruth, but I imagine that being in and out in under a minute would not lead to a high degree of sexual satisfaction for the woman involved.
At week 12, both dapoxetine doses were more effective than placebo. (P<0.0001, for all doses versus placebo). Intravaginal ejaculatory latency time was 1.75 (SD 2.21) minutes for placebo, 2.78 (3.48) minutes for 30 mg dapoxetine, and 3.32 (3.68) minutes for 60 mg dapoxetine.
Those number represent a 3x improvement thanks to the drug, and now you get 3 full minutes of intense pleasure before the well runs dry.
That my friends is what science is all about as cancer, AIDS, etc. can all take a back seat to Old Whitey in order of importance.
But I wish Johnson & Johnson (the company name is a bit ironic given the nature of the drug) would have just tapped me to help them find a cure as I discovered long ago that thinking about Rosie O'Donnell, slow-pitch softball and dung beetles will keep me in check every single time. 
Every damn time Kim.
-BDS
Intravaginal Ejaculatory Latency Time is the name of my new band.
I'd like to go on record as inventing this pharmaceutical, four years ago, only I call it Tylenol PM, two Silver Bullets and a condom. It doesn't just block serotonin, it blocks out the sun.
Is it wrong to be turned on right now? I was wondering what kind of side effect disclaimer they will put on this wonder drug:
"...may cause nausea, vomiting, spleen cancer, sweating, profuse salivation, body odor or loss of erection.."
Dung Beetles and Rosie. I always figured men pictured their grandmothers naked or something along those lines LOL.
For me it was always Margaret Thatcher.
Tbone - That would be a good name for virtually anything & you might want to patent your formula ASAP.
JLee - It's never wrong, and I read some side effects that were the usual gamut that starts with sweating and runs to keeling over dead.
Nancy Drew - I say goats are slutty and I stand by that assertion.
Miss Ash - Let's not cross the line and start picturing family members naked as that brings up a whole different can of worms.
Wit & Humor - I think you just did, but as for Discover magazine, my mind is already a limitless world full of far-reaching discoveries and I'm just not sure I have room for any more at the moment. That could always change.
Jackie - I hadn't heard that about Paxil (viagra - yes) and it's just like the capitlist pigs to prey on those who ejaculate prematurely. It happens every damn time through history.
Idig - A fine choice indeed.
WEll, 2DP, will have to take your word for it since I know little about the sex habits of goats....
I believe I read an article about in National Geographic.
Defintely an article.
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