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Indecisiveness May Or May Not Be My Problem . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, January 22, 2007

I don't know the cause nor do I have an answer for it, but I have been one indecisive bastard lately.

Paper or plastic, gel or pomade, pork chops or Astro-glide, there are simply no easy decisions in my personal forecast for reasons unkown to me. These pictures didn't help my delicate condition this morning as I waffled on them all like a socially awkward dancer at a middle school social.

I simply couldn't decide whether Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler looked like a pansexual wood elf who submerged himself in the water or an emaciated sewer rat soaking in the surf.

It was impossible to determine whether Rachel McAdams (Wedding Crashers, The Notebook) looked semi-cute with her new pink do or like a twelth-rate punk wanna-be who spilled a bottle of Pepto-Bismol on herself and decided that she actually liked it.

And who could say whether this outfit represented a step-up or another step-down for Britney Spears?

Not me. Not today. Maybe not for awhile.

The only thing I do know is that this guy is the least genetically-gifted person in North America, and that the only thing worse than a miniscule penis would be one that is obscured by unruly pubic hair.

So, that might be two things, but at least it means that all hope isn't lost for my ability to cast judgements, which does constitute a small relief on a Monday morning.



  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. Story of my life. Man, I am SO indecisive...well, sometimes I'm not, so maybe I'm NOT indecisive, but then again...ah, f*%k it.

  3. Anonymous Says:
  4. Ummmmm i could have lived without seeing Steven Tylers old ass.

    As for that wee "thing" that looks like an extra long nipple, i have no words. But i would DIE if a man dropped his pants and that was infront of me.

  5. nobich Says:
  6. I think I dated that last guy- yikes

  7. Anonymous Says:
  8. 1. Emaciated sewer rat
    2. A semi-cute wanna-be
    3. Lateral move.

    Of course, all this and a buck fifty... ;)

  9. Jlee -
    That much indecision likely means you're a bad driver too. Ha. I hate indecision on the roadways much more than in life in general. But there's always hope that things can change, eh?

    Miss Ash - I felt the same way about Tyler, and that exra-long nipple thing is funny. Would you laugh or cry if you were confronted with that thing? Decisions.

    Nobich - I'm very, very sorry. That cannot inspire confidence in a man. Ha.

  10. BostonPobble - Missed you in cyberspace, but I would definitely agree with #1, am waffling on #2 & definitely with you on #3. And all opinions have to be taken with some grain of salt or small currency, eh?

  11. Melissa Says:
  12. Maybe the appropriate response to each is simply to point and laugh.

  13. Anonymous Says:
  14. I don't know if Steven Tyler looks so much like an elf or just confused.
    Underwear is a step up for Britney.

  15. nobich Says:
  16. Don't feel sorry for me I can now play the piccolo Ha!!

  17. Melissa - That response is appropriate for a lot of things.

    Sarcastic - By now, he's probably on a permanent vacation from the reality that most of us inhabit.

    Nobich - Ha. Good point as you have to look on the bright side.

  18. Anonymous Says:
  19. That poor bastard, he can't even masturbate ... well, maybe if he had a GI Joe action figure with KungFu grip he might. lol

  20. Now that's funny and that's why this guy has to be lonely because he can't pleasure himself or another person with that tool. Sad.

  21. Jackie Says:
  22. Gosh, and he has such big hands. What a let down.

    Dude, when I saw that I honestly thought it was a clitoris at first because all of my friends have told me stories about Chyna Doll and how she has a clitoris the size of a small penis. Was that TMI? Well, you DID post that picture. So...

  23. I heard that same rumor about Chyna and he does have big hands and we can't see the face . . . who knows?


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