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Birthday Manifesto & Ticket Bought . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, January 29, 2007

"You never slow down
You never grow old," - Tom Petty

Ahh, this Monday feels bleaker than most as it also doubles as my birthday.

Is there anything worse than having your birthday fall on a Monday? The answer is yes. This is one of those "milestone" birthdays for me despite the fact that there are no good benchmarks to hit once you've turned 21 and can drink legally.

16 was great because it allowed you to drive a car.

18 was even better because you could then drive your car to a gas station and buy cigarettes, lotto cards and pornography (if your gas station was kind of sleazy).

21 is obvious and if you remember that night clearly then you are a better person than me.

But once 21 is dead and gone, there are no more milestones to look forward to unless you're a cheap bastard and are just itching to get the senior discount at IHOP and the movies.

But enough birthday bitching, eh? In reality, any birthday you celebrate is a good one because it means you're still walking around on two legs and have the ability to fiercely pursue any bizarre course of action that you deem reasonable.

Speaking of, I finally confirmed my trip to New York City and have a plane ticket in hand as I will be there from Feb 18 - 22nd.

What will I be doing for this modeling trip?

Who knows & at this point I no longer care because simply getting the invitation was the endgame for me as the rest is gravy (and I could eat a lot of gravy at this very instant).

And according to my nutrionist, I'm tracking fairly well, although we're still trying to take off some additional body fat and then build out over the last 2 1/2 weeks.

I wish it were ending tomorrow as my mood is turning blacker by the day, but for my birthday, I am going to push those thoughts aside and merely weep quietly at my desk.

I'm sure nobody will notice.

But I did want to remind everyone and post notice that tomorrow a Pop Culture quiz will be posted here between 8:30 - 9:30 a.m. Central time, and the first 5 people to email me the correct answers will receive this handsome prize:

So, if you've got nothing better to do on a Monday, then surf the Web to start preparing for this contest.

I will be hiding under my desk if you need me.



  1. Carmel Says:
  2. You must have just posted this as I finnished reading your other post.
    It's good to hear about your trip to New York!
    I'll be flying around then too so i'll be sure to think of you up there in the skies and wish you all the best for the modelling, you really must tell all about it and show us loads and loads of photos!

  3. JLee Says:
  4. Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you..yada yada yada..
    You can cry in your Cheerios when you turn 40, Mr.!
    The 30s are the best time of your life! (In my experience so far at least...) Man, when I turned 30, it was 100 degrees outside and I was 8 months pregnant and not a happy camper, so you're doing ok. Congrats on the New York trip finally happening!

  5. Carmel - Good timing, eh? Let's hope the airlines treat us both well and hopefully there will be some interesting stories to tell upon my return. We'll see.

    Jlee - Thank you, and who said I was 30? Not me. I just turned 22. Ha. Regardless, I am extremely glad that I am not pregnant on my birthday as that would present a litinany of problems that I couldn't face today.

  6. JLee Says:
  7. Hey, you said it was a milestone and we all know you're not 20! haha

  8. Wendy Says:
  9. Part of the problem is having a winter birthday, which sucks. Another issue is that, once the fun birthdays are over, we tend to measure milestones in five-year increments.

    But, the good part, besides the fact that one's level of not-give-a-shitness rises in direct proportion to one's dotage, is that you're younger right now than you will be in the future.

    And, in your case, you look terrific, so get out from under your desk.

    Happy Birthday.

  10. julia Says:
  11. Happy Birthday of course of course. Your body scares me.

  12. Anonymous Says:
  13. Feliz Birthday! whatever milestone you're celebrating!

    what with that kind of muscle tone, a sharp wit and disarming charm, you've nothing to worry about...not just yet, anyway!!!


  14. Miss Ash Says:
  15. Felichan Naskightagon! (That's Esperanto)

    Wow, congrats on NY!! Finally you will see if all of your hard work has payed off. Are you at least going to have a piece of bday cake?

  16. Congrats on NY. Maybe after the trip you can eat some gravy. HA!

    At any rate Mondays (whether it is your birthday or not) are good days for hiding under your desk.

  17. Jlee - So true. So true.

    Wendy - I can't argue with the younger/future idea, but I might just stay under my desk until my client call in 45 minutes. After that, we shall see, however, I'm optimistic.

    Julia - It's been a scary ride for me to get here and I'm not sure the exact rationale, but the end is near.

    Orchid - Thank you for the good wishes and I'll have to remember the disarming charm as I like the sentiment and the rhyme. Ha. Appreciate it.

    Miss Ash - My cake is coming - at the end of February. That's a delayed celebration, but I really couldn't eat it right now and it would just be painful to see. I like the different language b-day wishes. Thanks.

    Sarcastic - Yeah, most Mondays would qualify for that one. And thanks on the NY gig as I plan to eat quite a few things upon my return. Until then, it's more brown rice & turkey.

  18. Kayla Says:
  19. Come on out of hiding and let me sing Happy Birthday to you!
    Okay..maybe not sing, I don't want to add to your blues. haha
    How exciting to have the plane tix in hand! I hope mucho gravy is poured on you :-)
    (And may you have a few chicken fingers and hush puppies thrown in there too)

  20. Melissa Says:
  21. Happy Birthday!!!! I had Chinese for lunch today and the lady gave me two fortune cookies so one fortune is for you. Pich whichever one you like best. (I'll be crunching the cookie though.)

    1. Pleasure awaits you by the seashore.

    2. You are admired by many.

  22. Anonymous Says:
  23. You look great!! Best of luck and have a happy bday. 30 is still young. Enjoy it.

  24. Kayla - If you could combine the gravy, hush puppies, chicken fingers together AND then throw in the singing you might just be onto something. But the first part would only be frustrating for another 3 weeks or so. Ha.

    Melissa - Thank you, and that is a difficult choice on the fortune. I think I'll go with the seashore simply because with that one in hand, the second one might be true as well. Waffling, I know . . .

    Anonymous - I will enjoy it and thanks for the good words as it has been a long, winding road to this point and we'll see where it moves from here.

  25. Happy Birthday! And congratulations on finally booking your trip!

    Monday birthdays suck, but if it means anythings, you are looking smokin hot!!!!

  26. drëâmè® Says:
  27. nooooooo don't be sad!!!!! If it makes you feel better my milestones will end by the time im 19... hence the legal drinking age thing, so at least you had 2 years more than im gonna have.

    Maybe the following sketch will make you happy. The book is lovely too.


  28. drëâmè® Says:
  29. gah couldnt copy paste link fully. =(

  30. Friday - That always means something & thanks for the birthday wishes, even if it does fall on a Monday.

    Dr - That's true. I neglected to take into account the various drinking ages around the world, so in that case, things are looking up. Ha. And that's too bad about the link.

  31. Lucy Says:
    You look awesome. You'll do great.
    And I can't wait for that contest.
    The prize will be MINE.

  33. slopmaster Says:
  34. My penis sprinkled a little after seeing the picture.

    I'm ready for your trivia question tomorrow, I'm going to kick its ass!! Especially if you ask something about Seinfeld.

    Happy birthday.

  35. Anonymous Says:
  36. do you have any advice for which diet pills are good ? I'm female but as you have lots of history in the nutrition area i was wondering if you could offer some suggestions??
    Thanks and Happy Birthday!

  37. Lucy - I like the contest confidence & thanks for the birthday wishes. It's up now, so get to it. Ha.

    Slopmaster - Thanks & I'll be sure to quote you to the agent. He said something about mass appeal at some point. And there is one Seinfeld question which you will likely find very easy.

    Anonymous - I'm not big into diet pills. The ones with ephedra worked the best until they got yanked, but some people react badly to ephedra, so . . . I wish I had a good name, but unfortunately, it's more about a strict diet & cardio & weights to burn the calories. Sorry.


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