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Irrational Fears About Centaurs . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I was trying to focus on work this morning, but instead, my mind drifted towards centaurs - you know, the half-horse, half-men who roam the forests of the world.


These creatures are stock mythological characters who are typically seen as benevolent and good whenever they turn up in stories. But I have never liked them very much at all.

There has always been something vaguely filthy about these things, which has caused me to doubt the veracity of their statements and the true intentions of their hearts.


I remember seeing "The Chronicles of Narnia" movie, and feeling very uneasy about the children forming an alliance with talking half-men whose mother's must have had sex with a horse or possibly an entire team of Clydesdales to conceive them.


This seems to be the root of my problem with centaurs as I just don't like the bestiality aspect of their origin, which seems like a huge family secret that you would never want to share in polite company.

It's very possible that they were created a different way, but I have never heard of their true origins.

And until I do, I will regard them warily because I have been to Old Mexico. I have seen the donkey show. It is not a pretty sight.

Trust me.

-BDS

19 comments

  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. When I was writing features for a newspaper, I got to do fun stuff like drive a team of Clydesdales. Believe me, no sexual attraction. Those giant mothereffers scared the bejebus out of me.

    I think centaurs are a gay man's subconscious fantasy in the same way that unicorns are a teenage girl's.

     
  3. Anonymous Says:
  4. I'm not sure why these were on your mind, and quite frankly, I am at a loss for a comment. That's a rare occasion. Maybe I shoulda just said "that's hot".

     
  5. Wendy - That sounds like a cool writing gig to me. And I love that fantasy philosophy as it makes perfect sense. The unicorns too.

    Jlee - Sometimes it happens, but I hope your last commment doesn't refer to centaurs as I tried to establish that they are far from hot. Ha.

     
  6. slopmaster Says:
  7. you saw the donkey show?! I've heard about it, but never met anyone that actually went. You should definitely share the experience.

     
  8. nobich Says:
  9. What's the donkey show??

     
  10. Slopmaster - I have seen it, but my recollections are hazy as the trip was one of the worst of my life. But that is a whole other post as you noted.

    Nobich - Ahhh, to cut right to it, a woman has sex with a donkey. Details to follow.

     
  11. nobich Says:
  12. ew ew ew!!!

     
  13. locomocos Says:
  14. i always thought it was the other way around. Some horn ball dude has sex with a horse, and out pops a horse guy. but you maybe be right. Donkey shows might prove it.

    I've always heard you MUST see one of those shows if you go to Mexico. But everyone says it wasn't as cool as it sounded, so why do guys still go?

    Probably to see a centaur being born.

    that would just be interresting. All i'm sayin' is that I bet Darwin would go.
    ;D

     
  15. Nobich - No argument from me.

    Cassie D - Ha. You're right, and I think guys go to the show to see if this kind of thing actually happens - and it does - or at least it used to. Regardless, it's not pretty for the donkey or the woman.

     
  16. Anonymous Says:
  17. I wonder if this is still true:

    http://www.mdn.org/2000/STORIES/PERV.HTM

    (apparently bestiality is legal in missouri!- and you thought there was nothing to do in the midwest!)

     
  18. Anonymous Says:
  19. Well, there was that one time with an anteater. Who can resist a sexy anteater for heaven's sake?

     
  20. Anonymous Says:
  21. Ummm where does this donkey show take place *wrinkles face in confusion*

    I saw a live sex show in Amsterdam...with two people, but no animals thankfully.

     
  22. Anonymous Says:
  23. I don't care how many donkey shows you see, it is an irrational fear. Mainly because there aren't any centaurs running around. However, when I see them I imagine them hatching out of thin air, because you only see men centaurs, though I suppose they could be asexual beings. Hmmm...a whole new thing to have an irrational fear about.

     
  24. Anonymous Says:
  25. I've been to Mexico but I can proudly say I've never been to a donkey show.

    Ask any sailor about the shit he's seen around the world and it will amaze you (the Philipines come to mind).

     
  26. Anonymous - That is truly a scary thought about Missouri, but the next time somebody mentions they are vacationing there I know what question I will ask them. Ha.

    Jlee - The anteater thing is obvious; just look at their snouts for crying out loud.

    Miss Ash - I have also seen that same show in Amsterdam, but that was a whole different ballgame than the donkey show. But both were classy affairs. Ha.

    Sarcastic - You see, if you think too deeply then you start having all sorts of geneology (sp?) questions. Add it to the fear list immediately.

    Robert - I would bet the Philipines could top that, and I know there are many bars in Japan that would easily surpass the kink factor of the donkey show as well.

     
  27. Anonymous Says:
  28. I love unicorns...LOL

     
  29. I think most women loved/love unicorns at one time or another. It at least seems possible.

     
  30. Sherry Says:
  31. OK, now I am thinking WAY to much about the origins of Centaurs. Gonna have to go and find out for myself now, I guess.

     
  32. Good. Please report your findings back to me as I am still curious. But wary.

     

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