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Behaving Like Animals . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Thursday, August 31, 2006

There's this company that works on the same floor as me, and although I don't know the name of it, I get the feeling it's a boiler room scenario.

This is based on the fact that most of the workers are men who walk the common areas with head-sets attached, and when I encounter groups of them in the bathroom, there is testosterone in the air combined with a distinct lack of social skills that extend beyond money, grunting, unprovoked bravado and uninspired penis jokes.

Occasionally it's semi-funny, but most of the time it is fairly boring.

A large number of them also seem to smoke, which has led the group to set up a several chairs in the underground parking garage where they sit in a semi-circle and fire 'em up.

I pulled in after lunch today, and was standing outside my car when I heard one of them say:

"That's easy - a goat. No question about it."


I figured they were playing some game about which people looked like which animal or if they were an animal what would they be.

This was incorrect.

"You're right because a goat's not too big and not too small. It's just right. I'd fuck a goat too."

"No way. It depends on the season. Winter it's a sheep without a doubt."


"Fuck that. I'll take a pig anytime just to say to it 'Now squeal like a pig'".

"That would be a good choice."

"What about a ferret?"


"Too small. Lots of little teeth."

Unfortunately, I had a meeting to attend because I was curious how the discussion ended and which beast won (or lost) the ultimate battle.

Personally I would go big like say a walrus:


{Editor's note: I've had this picture saved for no good reason for 3 months, and now I finally get to use it}

It also got me thinking a bit about it as there's something inherently filthy and yet funny about bestiality. Hell, the word itself even sounds funny as I laugh nearly anytime someone says it, and if I were to ever do a spoof of "Jerry Maguire" a good line might be "You had me at bestiality."

Or maybe not.

It's not something you could hang a movie around as it's a one-trick pony (pun intended), but it did make me smile for the rest of the afternoon.

-BDS

11 comments

  1. HAHAHAH!! I was already in a great mood - because it's Friday! But that was just the icing on the cake!

    The female version of this little game though, is a little unsettling for me :)

     
  2. If this was the icing then I'm a bit scared about what the cake looked and tasted like.

    Regardless, you're lucky that it's Friday in Australia with the time difference as it's still on the cusp around Austin.

     
  3. drëâmè® Says:
  4. haha that's too funny =P Wow.. I always found it odd that people were turned on by the thought of animal sex. =/ it reminds me of this story in the book "The World According to Garp." There was this filthy rapist in it who owned a farm and had intercourse with his farm animals. *shiver*

    Mahalo,
    Sahar.

     
  5. drëâmè® Says:
  6. Oh and it also reminds me of the pony porn photo in the book Slaughterhouse-five...

    sheesh.. I'm such a bookworm.

     
  7. JLee Says:
  8. a donkey, definitely a donkey...did I say that out loud?

     
  9. Dr - It's very odd, and I hope only a small percentage of the population. I never read 'Garp', but you're right about 'Slaughterhouse' which is a very good book.

    Jlee - If you want a donkey - say you want a donkey. But I must warn you that I have a hazy recollection of an actual donkey show in Mexico, and the results weren't pretty. So you might want to change your mind.

    Jackie - I won't use the words all-knowing, but I'm not going to deny it either. I'll plead the 5th.

     
  10. no one said wookie?

     
  11. Melissa Says:
  12. A few weeks ago a guy here in Houston was arrested for animal abuse. He became indignant with the arresting officers and had to be subdued. He claimed again and again that he hadn't broken the law... it was his own dog he was fucking, not someone else's.

     
  13. That made me laugh so hard. It is too bad you had to go to a meeting. I wonder what they will be talking about today?

     
  14. m Says:
  15. That beats overhearing discussions of "testicular atrophy" on a bus. Absolutely blows it away. I knew guys talked about that. Knew it.

     
  16. Nancy Drew - That might have been mentioned after I left or thrown out on a technicality.

    Melissa - I'm not going to condone that behavior, but the guy might have a point. It's his house and his dog. No, actually he doesn't.

    Sarcastic - It will probably be a letdown after that discussion - but I'll let you know.

    M - Another dirty secret revealed by 2 Dollar Productions as next week we'll explore the lost socks in the dryer conundrum.

     

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