I blew a tire going 70 MPH on my way to the gym this morning, and consequently, things have been ugly and scattered which matches the tone of this post.
First, I stumbled across this quote from Rob Schneider:
“When Mrs. Lohan stops partying with her child, then I’ll have an ounce of respect for her. I don’t care if her parents are both crummy – you cannot blame your parents anymore. She’s not a kid. Lindsay, get it together, America will forgive you but you gotta do something positive with your life. I hope she does okay but at a certain point, there’s so many bigger problems in the world than Lindsay Lohan. I hope she gets her head out of her nice, cute little rear end and finds a life for herself. She’s very talented, and a special little actress but there are so many people out there who’d trade positions with her in a heartbeat and use it better than she is.”
- Rob Schneider on Dina & Lindsay Lohan to People
That's probably the best thought that Schneider will ever put together, although he did have some sneaky funny-lines in "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo" that surprised me too. 
But in more useful news, psychologists at the University of Texas just published a study that found a total of 237 reasons - everything from "I wanted to feel closer to God" to "I was drunk" to wanting to have a child - for deciding to have sex.
The researchers, Cindy Meston and David Buss, feel their list (published in the August issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior) is the most thorough taxonomy of sexual motivation ever compiled.
A few on the list include:
- to "help me fall asleep,"
- to "make my partner feel powerful,"
- to "burn calories,"
- to "return a favor,"
- to "keep warm,"
- to "hurt an enemy"
- to "change the topic of conversation."
The best might have been because "Someone dared me."
I'll have to remember that one next time I'm feeling frisky.
Of all the reasons to have sex, here's two reasons to avoid it at all costs: 
I'm off to check on my tires at NTB and with any luck will manage to avoid a trip to my dealership, but regardless, this ugly business should explain some of the randomness in this post.
-BDS
The tire blew on the way to the gym, huh? Proof that exercise is bad!
Haha I agree with Wendy!!!
I like the "to return a favor" one. I wonder whatever happened to the good ole "it feels damn good" one?
I like "change the topic of conversation" haha
Good luck with the tire. Blowouts are no fun, especially at high speeds.
In my best Mom voice "Thank God you're alright!!!"
Did you see Rob Schneider on The Tonight Show? Dressed as Lindsey, using "her" alcohol monitoring device as a flask? Classic!
Kinda scary about the blowout. What would I DO if you weren't around to post cheeky pictures of bad celebs? Did you think about that while trying to keep your car from not crashing? Did you?
Hmmm.
"To feel closer to God"...that's the one I think I would borrow. Make it sound all holy. >:)
I had heard about the Britney Pole Dance Debacle but hadn't seen pictures. You know, I'm not even enjoying her meltdown any longer.
Glad you're okay. Seriously.
having sex to "change the topic of conversation"..LOL...that is a good one.
is one of the excuses: not to blow a tire?
ok, that was REALLY bad... but if rob schneider can sound smart aren't i allowed to sound dumb?
Have you seen the reasons why people don't have sex. Here are some that the ladies have told me over the years:
- "I like you too much."
- "I don't like you enough."
- "I'm too good for you."
- "You smell."
- "You're fat and ugly."
- "You, pfft, please."
- "I'm not gay. Wait, you're a guy? Really?"
- "You don't look like you're any good."
Wendy - One could draw that conclusion, however, I think whomever would do so already had that idea in mind beforehand. Ha.
Miss Ash - Return a favor is good as I'm always one for balancing the books.
Jlee - Blowouts are never good, but I do like the conversatinal tidbits that whoever answered that question would display. Ha.
Nobich - Thank you as it could have been far worse.
Anonymous Boxer - I saw clips of Schneider, which were pretty funny. And during the blowout, I was more angry that I couldn't make the gym and it would alter the rest of my day, but next time I'll add yours to the list. Ha.
Bostonpobble - Thank you. As for Britney, it's just sad now and is growing more pitiful by the day.
Vivavavoom - That was one of my favorites too. "How about the Middle East, and forget it, let's just have sex."
Cats - That does seem reasonable if Rob can come off as witty, eh? Ha. But I'm not sure how well the tire line would work.
WhatIgot - Some of those are funny and some are brutal. That last one sounds brutal, but man that's a solid list and I'm sure we've all heard some/all of them.