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Sexy Tuesday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, August 21, 2007

For some strange reason, I woke up with sex on the brain this morning and when I took a brief tour through Cyberspace, it only added to the problem as it seems that everyone is concerned with the same issue.

First, I stumbled across this quote from the giant-breasted, English pin-up Jordan who said:

“I’m thinking of having my vagina tightened. After having three kids, I’d really notice the difference. By the time I’m finished I’ll be like a nun.” - Jordan

I'm not sure how common this type of surgery is nor do I consider myself anything more than an amateur Doctor of the female form, yet I would volunteer to counsel and consult with Jordan before she made any rash decisions.

Then, I read that guitarist Dave Navarro has just directed his own hardcore porno movie - Dave Navarro: Broken.

The feature-length movie has an all-star cast of adult performers, including Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze, Victoria Sin, Audrey Bitoni, Kayla Page, Lisa Daniels, Tommy Gunn, Marco Banderas, Mark Davis and Spyder Jonez.

“I got into this because I have a lot of friends in the business,” says Navarro. “One aspect to bring up — you know, I’ve been around the music business for years and years and I watched it spiral into absolute bullshit and nothingness and become the same old, safe regurgitated things that the corporate world is trying to shove down the public’s throat. But in terms of edge and the taboo factor, it doesn’t seem to exist anymore [in music] — and to me, this seems like the only art form out there that’s exciting, shocking and taboo, yet there’s a huge market for it.”

I'm not sure I follow Navarro's logic about becoming bored with his music so making porno seemed like the only outlet, however, I bet he can pull this off because as long as Navarro keeps the angles and the lighting going then he's already won the battle because if anybody is looking for plot then you're in the wrong genre.

Finally, Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine apparently told some Russian news outlet that Maria Sharapova was less than thrilling in bed.

“She wouldn’t make any noise during sex. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it ‘ruined her concentration.’ It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards. Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny.” - Adam Levine

Ouch. The flip side of that coin is that maybe Levine is no good at all and Sharapova was concentrating on someone better.

I was hoping this partial list would be a cathartic purging as I have a client call in 30 minutes, and don't want to slip into anything unprofessional. Until then, I will stay off the web and focus my energies into productive channels versus the gutter where my brain awoke this morning.



  1. I'm assumming Adam Levine's cock is like his music, always boring and limp.

  2. Bwahaha - whatigotsofar is soooo right.

    Cheeky today aren't you 2$?

    What did you eat for dinner last night?

  3. JLee Says:
  4. I love that show "Katie and Peter" and she cracks me up with her crazy antics! *did that sound like a promo or what?*

    I think you should immediately go out and rent "Exit to Eden" with Rosie O'Donnell. That will cure what ails you.

  5. WhatIgot - Ha. That's probably a decent assumption as I'm tempted to side w/ Sharapova for obvious reasons.

    Anonymous Boxer - Something very bland and healthy so it was probably the pedulum swinging the exact opposite way due to suppressed desires. Ha. At leas that's a theory.

    Jlee - I know what you're talking about w/ Eden as the site or thought of O'Donnell dressed up in leather is a cure-all for what ails me. I'm just too terrifed to take my medicine.

  6. I bet women will just be beating down Adam Levine's door after such gentlemanly talk. Not! Guess he hasn't heard that old adage about kissing and not telling. Women of the world should unite to ruin the rest of his sexual escapades if he thinks it is okay to talk about them.

  7. Miss Ash Says:
  8. Maybe Jordan should not have had 3 kids and then she wouldn't need her vagina tightened....ewe!!! Apparently women pee after too, when they laugh cause they can't hold it in. Hmm no thanks, i'll stay childless.

    And is it sad that I do not reconize any of those porn actors?

  9. vivavavoom Says:
  10. $2-Ration out the reading of TMZ or Perez Hilton. I swear it kills brain cells.

    Dave Navarro is such a joke. can't even believe he was part of Jane's Addiction at one time.

    Miss Ash- "the gina" my 2 year old calls it, is generally elasticlike...thus it stretches and goes back....take it from a size no need to blame the kiddos for it all. my guess is Jordan is just a surgery junkie and wants to be on that Dr. 90210 show. besides....who is she? I honestly have no idea. is she an old porn star?

  11. Sarcastic - Your effort will likely be in vain (unfortunately) because Levine is in a band, and musicans ALWAYS get women. Always.

    Miss Ash - I had never really considered that in relation to kids as I mostly thought of them as money and time drains, but . . . And don't fret on the porn stars as I only knew one of them. These things happen.

    Vivavavoom - You're right about the reading as I usually flip through quickly in the AM before my brain is fully functioning. Don't feel bad about Jordan as she isn't well-known in the States (UK is another story). She recently had a reality show on E! (which I didn't see) and was on the cover of Playboy a few years ago (which I did see).

  12. vivavavoom Says:
  13. speaking of porn stars...what happened to Jenna Jameson??? She was hot, and now is all skin and bones....she looks more like those girls either trying to get in the business, or at one time were in the business, where they are coked out of their minds and thus not eating. what a shame. she and Jeanine (?) were my favs back when I watched porn and had a sex drive.....before the kids were born!

  14. cats Says:
  15. it's called kegels, jordan.

    and now i have decided i can't say anymore.

  16. Vivavavoom - Yeah, Jenna has gone straight downhill as she used to look great, and I liked Janine as well before she got about a million tattoos.

    Cats - Ha. I've heard about your answer, and that is very helpful - and revealing. You should send Jordan an email.

  17. Kayla Says:
  18. Good grief!!
    Did Adam Levine really say that??
    If he did...what a jackass!
    It's fine to say someone is GREAT in bed...not so good to say someone sucks. (pun intended)

  19. I like a good pun, and I wouldn't say someone sucked in bed to the press simply because it would make other women nervous about sleeping w/ you lest you blab about them too. It's just a bad idea.


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