"Hello pussy," - Louis Gossett Jr., "An Officer and a Gentleman"
It's been a hectic week at work, and August in Austin is the worst month of the year, however, there's always celebrity nonsense to distract from life's little burdens with stories like:
Kevin Federline has carefully documented and crafted an argument to wrest his children away from Britney Spears as his lawyers subpoenaed an assistant to the pop star, and have plans for more in an attempt to portray Spears as unfit for motherhood. 
K-Fed has hired a crack legal team to conduct the matter, but a team of monkeys could also put together a case based on the amount of public evidence that Spear's has contributed showing her fragile grasp on reality.
Van Halen have announced a tour of America, which will see front man Dave Lee Roth playing with the band for the first time in 22 years.
I wouldn't mind hearing a little "Panama" and "Hot for Teacher" again, but Roth better be careful if he tries to "Jump" or else he'll end up in the hospital.
O.J. Simpson's hypothetical account of killing his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson will be printed by a New York publisher as the deal was struck on behalf of the family of Ron Goldman, who was murdered along with Brown Simpson at her Los Angeles home in 1994.
A federal judge last month gave the rights to the book, entitled "If I Did It," to Goldman's family, who are owed $33.5 million in damages by Simpson.
Two questions: 1) Who is going to buy this book? 2) Why does the title include the word "If"?
It was reported this week that Amy Winehouse's mother-in-law has called the singer a heroin and cocaine addict. Winehouse is supposedly in a treatment facility following a trip to the hospital recently that was allegedly due to massive drug consumption.
I can't say I'm surprised by either revelation because when you're biggest hit concerns people trying to send you to "Rehab," then it's probably only a matter of time before you actually end up there.
In potential new couple news, it's being speculated that Cameron Diaz and John Mayer have been spending time together. 
And somewhere else, Justin Timberlake is with Jessica Biel and Jessica Simpson is with her father, which is disgusting.
Jimmy Fallon, former Saturday Night Live actor, proposed to his girlfriend, movie producer Nancy Juvonen.
Juvonen would have received a bigger engagement ring if Fallon had decided to stick around "SNL" versus making putrid films like "Taxi," but her reps state that she's not bitter at all.
Let's end with a gold image per usual: 
On an unrelated note, August is a great time for watermelons and I do love that fruit, so head to your local farmer's market, gently shake the produce and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
How to pick a good watermelon
Take a look at the end with the little butthole looking thing. The tighter and smaller the butthole, the better the watermelon.
That's very helpful advice as I usually go by color and firmness, but every bit of information helps.
TMI, "whatigotsofar", TMI.
I have no plans to give my hard earned money over to anything relating to OJ Simpson - regardless of the book title. I saw Nicole's Sister on the Today Show and I think she said it best,
"he's NOT dead, that's the only thing I'd like to see."
Happy Friday!
I used to loathe the word pussy...now I love it!!! TMI
I saw this woman smacking a watermelon in the entrance of the grocery store where they were kept for some reason. I got my limes for my corona and came and and guess who was still there beating up the watermelon...yup, i was a little tipsy and started to laugh inappropriately.
Anonymous Boxwer - But that's helpful TMI. Ha. And Happy Friday (let's be glad we don't know and have no affiliation w/ OJ)>
Miss Ash - I've never had a grudge against the word, and I like the visual of your story about the watermelon whacker. Some people . . .
I didn't know watermelons had buttholes? Learn something new every day, I suppose. I almost bought one yesterday at the grocery store coincidentally. "Watermelon whacker" haha. Stay dry down there and Happy Friday.
Do canteloupe's have butthole's too?
I'm thinking Amy Winehouse in rehab means she will now have to face up to her MIL since her MIL was kind enough to announce to the world she was in rehab after an incident involving a trip to the hospital.
Jlee - You and me both on the watermelon thing, but I enjoy learning new things. Happy Friday back at you.
Sarcastic - I would imagine that the next Winehous family get-together would be worth watching. Ha. And I'll investigate this cantelope inquiry.
I read somewhere that Diamond Dave was a paramedic. If true, maybe he can treat himself after "Jump"ing. Let us just hope he still wears spandex or Chuck Norris stretch jeans or he's liable to split... maybe they should change the name of the song. "Might as well split. SPLIT!"
OJ should just pipe down ... what the hell is he thinking!?!?!? Just because he beat the rap doesn't make him innocent. And by the way, how's that murder investigation going?
Getoffmylawn - I had forgotten about Dave's paramedic training, so regardless of his jumping/splitting/etc. he should have a good idea on how to heal himself.
Linda - I've long since given up on trying to figure out the Juice, and while it's his right to write or talk about this, it's ours to simply not listen.