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Unexpected Filthy Laughter . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, August 06, 2007

There's a particular kind of laugh that erupts from me whenever something unexpected happens.

It sounds like a buzz-saw crossed with a duck orgy, and that's exactly what happened on Saturday night as I sat in a huge backyard listening to Bob Schneider, a fixture in the Austin music scene who also gained some national notoriety a few years ago by dating Sandra Bulluck.

Schneider has a big voice, and a style that ranges from bluegrass to rock and nearly everything in-between. Schneider sometimes plays with a large band called the Scabs or Ugly Americans, who are known for up-tempo party music that is frequently filled with filthy yet catchy lyrics.

But on Saturday night, Schneider was playing his acoustic set with one other musician for 2 hours in front of 75 fairly conservative businesspeople. Luckily, I was not footing the bill for Bob nor had much responsbility other than looking presentable, so I was free to enjoy the loads of barbecue and Shiner Bock that flowed freely all night long.

The show was excellent as the sound was spot-on, and I sat roughly 10 feet from the stage, 15 feet from the bar and 20 feet from the bathroom - a triangulation position that worked perfectly.

Schneider took requests for the second half of the show, and it was sometime near the end that things got interesting. From somewhere in the back, a voice called out "Let's hear Boom Boom Baby."

"Yeah, I can play that," Bob said with a small smile.

Lyrics to "Boom Boom Baby":

I'm gonna come over baby tonight
Tie you down tie you down to your bed and treat you like you like
Rub your belly rub your leg
Lick the inside of your ear until you start to beg
Lick your pussy kiss your lips
Lick your body baby from your toes to your fingertips
Talk dirty to you talk to you nice
Gonna make your body tingle baby gonna make it tingle twice
Gonna fuck you so hard that you'll say don't stop
Gonna have your pussy going snap crackle pop pop pop
Bam damn I'm the kinda man
That's gonna have you beggin me to put my dick in your hand
And you know it ain't a play toy but baby it'll do
Because you want me to come I'm gonna cum all over you
I know during the day you're gonna act all proper
But baby late at night you're a showstopper
You're just a dirty girl with a dirty mind
I'm gonna bend you over baby and show me your behind
I'm gonna make you do the nasty things you only think about
There ain't another like me baby who knows just how to turn you out
Cause baby I've got the touch
I'm gonna give you so much

I ain't your daddy I'm your lover
I'm a mac motherfucker like no other
I got the boom boom baby
That you like

I'm gonna come over baby tonight
Lay you down lay you down and treat you like you like
While your parents are asleep I'm gonna sneak into your room
And give you some of that boom boom boom
I'm gonna kiss ya lick ya suck ya fuck ya spank ya chew ya stroke ya screw ya do ya
Take you from behind and on top and underneath
And from the side tongue your nipples with my teeth
Rub your belly rub your back
Rub you just right and rub you round the track
I'll rub your pussy till its steaming

I was racked with laughter as the song got filthier by the stanza, and watching some of the faces in the crowd was even better.

With professional restraint, I managed to keep the ducks mating sound to a minimum and tried to look properly offended, but in nice touch by the host, the entire concert was recorded and CDs were handed out to guests when they left, which means I can re-live the moment over and over again.



  1. Stephanie Says:
  2. He looks pretty darn fine to me. Sandra's one lucky girl!

  3. JLee Says:
  4. Go Rob! hahaha I definitely have to go see him now when he comes in town next month. lol
    I know what you mean about those laughs. I have one that comes out, especially when I watch "The Soup" where it is a giant explosive "HA!" something akin to Mrs. Crabapple from The Simpsons.

  5. Stephanie - Obviously this all occurred before she married Jesse James. Ha.

    Jlee - Bob puts on a good show - filthy songs or not as it had been several years since I'd seen him. And I like the Simplson's reference too. Good laughs all around.

  6. Ahhhh, such a romantic. Both of you.

    I hope that CD also recorded your subdued Duck laugh.

  7. That was priceless! I don't know which I would have enjoyed more - the song or the look on people's faces. HA!

  8. Anonymous Boxer - What can I say, I'm about the love. Ha. And I'm sure Bob feels the same way.

    Sarcastic - It was the combination that was priceless as I had never heard that song before, however, the occassion was just about perfect.

  9. I hope the duck laugh was consistent with the rhythm. Recorded for posterity, you know.

  10. Wendy Says:
  11. Um... is it warm in here?

  12. Getoffmylawn - The problem with the laugh is the unexpected nature, so I doubt it was in rhythm. But there's always a next time.

    Wendy - Ha. The concert was outside, and in Austin in August it was already hot. I cannot speak for your own house.

  13. BostonPobble Says:
  14. ROFLMAO!!!!!!! How great! And I bet your duck orgy laugh made it on the cd, too!

  15. vivavavoom Says:
  16. that is great. give the person a raise who requested that song too!!

  17. Bostonpobble - Unfortunately, it did not as I listened to the CD yesterday, and only the song made the final cut (which is alright with me).

    Vivavavoom - I heard that the person showed up at work yesterday, and one of the higher-ups said "What are you doing here today? Didn't you get the email?" Ha.

  18. Miss Ash Says:
  19. I have to download that song now and listen to it LMAO...hilarious!!!

    I love laughs like that. Generally i'm loud and cackle, but every now and again I have a silent chuckle with a big HA at the end. Classy I know!

  20. You should as it's a very catchy & romantic song. And a good laugh - any kind of volume, sound, etc - is always worthwhile.

  21. Dammit, one more reason to love Austin! And Bob for that matter, whose only work I know is on the 40 Days and 40 Nights soundtrack.

  22. I didn't know about that soundtrack as the only one I knew was he had a song on the "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" movie. But he's a fixture in Austin.

  23. Sherry Says:
  24. That is one of the most hilarious songs ever!

    I'm also laughing my ass off at you! "buzz-saw crossed with a duck orgy"

    I've got a pretty mean laugh myself in those same types of situations. Don't know how I'd describe it though.

  25. My laugh doesn't exactly sound like that, but I liked the sound of the description the best. Ha. Maybe I'm biased, but regardless, it was a pretty damn funny night.


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