2 Dollar Productions

{Editor's Note: This is a semi-regular series of high-water mark performances that spans movies, television, books and life its ownself.}

If there was ever a high point for wish-fulfillment adventure movies, "The Goonies" would certainly be at the top of my list.


I love that movie. I enjoyed it immensely as a kid, and unlike some childhood things that you shed as you grow older, "The Goonies" has never lost its luster for me as I have the DVD sitting in my current collection.

In college, my roommate and I used to hold 'Goonies & Gumbys' nights where we would order a 20 inch pizza from Gumbys and watch as the Goonies banded together in an effort to find One-Eyed Willy's treasure and save their house.


"The Goonies" was a pure product of the 80s with a cast of future stars that included Josh Brolin ("Hollow Man", "Into the Blue"), Sean Astin ("Rudy", "Lord of the Rings"), and Corey Feldman ("The Lost Boys", "The 'Burbs"). The gang was rounded out by an Asian gadget expert, Data, and the token fat kid, Chunk, who invented the classic "truffle shuffle."


This film pulled elements from everything that I wish would happen to me as it featured:

A) Hidden treasure on a pirate ship
B) A treasure map filled with riddles
C) Booby Traps
D) Perilous passageways filled with danger to hide the buried treasure
E) No adults around to screw things up

There was also a phenomenal cast of villains that featured that hideously ugly woman from "Throw Mama From the Train" chasing the Goonies with her two dipshit sons in tow. The movie also introduced one of cinema's most iconic misunderstood characters in the monstrosity that was Sloth.

Sloth is first seen chained up in a basement, and is scary as hell as this poor bastard was obviously beaten daily with the ugly stick while growin up. We later learn that Sloth is actually a gentle giant who befriends Chunk over their mutual love of Rocky Road ice cream and Baby Ruths, which are food choices that can always be counted on to bring people together.


I won't ruin the ending for anyone who hasn't seen this classic, but it is a fitting conclusion to a movie that still holds value for me because I would trade a lot of things in my life to be chasing after pirate treasure with a group of friends beneath the city.


This same belief was true for the movie's prettiest girl, who chooses to stay with the Goonies despite the danger they face. The town's resident scumbag can't believe she turns down his invitation to take her away from it all, and chastises her by screaming "Andy - You Goonie!"

We should all be so lucky.

-BDS