If your looking for the very definition of blandness, you would need to look no further than the Ford Taurus. 
I've always said that owning a Taurus is on my list of things I will never do in this or any other lifetime. But now I'm driving around in a pale blue one because my car had to go back to the shop yesterday.
My increased testosterone count from the Plasma TV has been horribly reversed by this sudden development as I can feel poor Stanley crawling into his shell like a frightened tortoise every time I set foot in the Taurus. 
I realize that you are not what you drive as that's extremely shallow and no way to judge anything about a person. That knowledge, however, doesn't help me with this Taurus situation which violates an ideal I once held sacred.
Unfortunately, there were no other options with Hertz as I pleaded with their representative, and was coolly informed that this sensible sedan was the only car they had available in their whole fleet.
I muttered something about how "I bet Enterprise has other options," but that didn’t win me any points either.
Oh well, with any luck it's only for a few days as I should have my car back by the end of the week. We'll see how long it takes for my masculinity to return as it can be a slippery slope when you start caving on positions you've cherished for many years.
But as long as I don't start wearing men's capris or begin taking cell phone calls on the toilet then I should be able to retain my personal equilibrium.
-BDS
Oh man, men in clam diggers gotta love em!!
As for the Taurus, it's funny. I have a friend who works at Ford and bought one....the exact same one his mother owns, 4 door family sedan. He's 28....
Man, they may as well have given you a mini-van. Do they even make men's capris?? I keep laughing at the mental image I get of the capri/cell phone thing. Very girlie! lol
Miss Ash - Love that clam diggers expression. As for your friend, I didn't know anyone actually owned a Taurus - I thought they were all rentals.
Jlee - It is a silly mental picture, and one I never want to participate in or witness myself. And owning a mini-van is the second vehicle that I mentally decided a long time ago that I would never own. We all have our standards.
You'll want to be careful not to start carrying a man purse either.
Stanley huh?
Sarcastic - That's another item on my list (good call) as I just don't have the ability to pull off a man purse, which is probably a good thing.
Nobich - You know like the power drill. Ha. If you know where I stole that from then I'm impressed and if not, my mouth is shut.
I always thought Bosch had the most powerful tools...
My boss drives a gray Taurus... how bland. I'm sure that you upping the cool factor of the Taurus just by standing next to it. Right? Tell your agent to call Ford.
Just slap on some spinner hub caps and you'll be cool again. Ohhh Yeah!!!
Come on fess up!! Are we talking porn??
Melissa - Bosch is a good name too. I'd switch but then I'd be worried that he might not perform as well due to name association issues.
Robert - Who could say no to something as classy as those babies. But that's just a waste of money because at the end of the day, it's still a Taurus.
Nobich - Not porn. It's a regular movie featuring a comedian who burned brightly for a short while, but then burned out in a foul-mouthed haze.
Oh my..
From 50 inches down to negatives!
(Stanley??)
How the mighty have fallen...
or shrunken
;-)
Hope your car repair doesn't take too long!
isn't there some turtle named Stanley...like a cartoon?
you'd be more manly if you were taking the bus, bd. you know this.
I bought a Taurus when they first came out. I had it two days and the water pump pulley fell OFF of it. Took a month to get the part because it was so new they didn't have any in stock and had to make it. After that, it was one thing or another with that car. Needless to say, I traded it in for a pickup!!!
Kayla - A true reversal of fortune. Karma. Definitely something, but fear not as I picked up my car this afternoon and have the Taurus off my hands.
Jlee - Not that I know of, but my cartoon knowledge is somewhat lacking if it doesn't concern Bugs Bunny, Voltron or the Smurfs.
Julia - I'd have to be more manly to withstand the powerful body odor that exists on a lot of buses in Austin as many smell like something died inside.
Symplyamused - Good trade. I'd take a pick-up any day of the week and twice on Sunday versus a Taurus. A true blessing in disguise.
I knew you'd like this instant karma for making fun of your Taurus earlier in the week. I should have kept my mouth shut.
Ach! It wasn't "my" Taurus. Remember, I drive something cute and sporty and orange.
Also, I would NEVER wish a Taurus on you. It's not karma. It's effing Hertz. I swear, they stock ugly cars on purpose.
I remember - you've got the cute Eclipse if memory serves. And I have no problem remembering that Hertz stinks like a week-old fish.