{This is the fifth of what will be a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits with my brother. Last night, we shared a few bottles of Christmas wine with my Dad which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}
* Any drink with an umbrella in it should only be consumed at a beach-front bar and even then only if the woman you're sitting with is drinking the same. 
* I never understood the idea of taking the bull by the horns because that seems like one of the worst possible places to grab a charging bull. Those things are extremely sharp.
* If someone exclaims "Man that stinks. Take a whiff" - Don't do it.
* You can definitely argue that Christmas has morphed into this consumer-driven, vapid holiday that leaves everyone miserable - but I still love it. 
Where else can you combine great food and presents outside of Chuck E. Cheese?
* I've always liked the thought of a sexy librarian who stocks books by day, reads the great philosphers by afternoon and then at night gets buck wild beneath the Dewey Decimal System. But I've come to the conclusion after years of research that this seems to bear little resemblance to reality. 
* It's a good idea to keep your pubic hair shaved high and tight, but only porn stars and infants are completely hairless (this doesn't apply to females).
* If I were an animal I would be a bald eagle because I think it would be a pretty good gig to be rare, revered and be able to fly. 
* It seems like everyone should have sex on a bear-skin rug at least once in a lifetime. Preferably it would be a white rug and it would belong to someone else. 
That seems like all the thoughts that should occur around Christmas, so I hope everyone has a hell of a good holiday, stay safe and open as many presents as possible.
Let's hope one of those boxes contains some Advil. Ho. Ho. Ho.
-BDS
Good Christmas observations, all! Somehow the librarians I knew were fat, old and had blue hair, but one can dream. I like the rug idea in this brisk weather, especially the "it would belong to someone else" scenario. haha I still seem to fall for that "take a whiff" thing. Curiosity killed the cat I suppose. Merry Christmas!
I think you just like to tease me by pulling that teacher pic out on a semi-regular basis.
Happy Christmas, boys.
I think "taking the bull by the horns" is meant to mean ballsy action without regard for risk.
Along with the "take a whiff" idea is the "Do you want this? I was just going to throw it out." In other words, "I think it's garbage but you might like it."
Jlee - The rug works any time of year, but especially in the winter and when it belongs to someone else. Ha. Merry Christmas.
Julia - I know you like that picture, so that was for you as I couldn't find a better one to illustrate my point. Merry Christmas.
Robert - I actually like the bull/horns expression, but it's funny when you think about it. And you're right about the food thing.
Slopmaster - Have a hell of a good Christmas and maybe in 2007 we'll find some actual women who fit the librarian mold - but I wouldn't hold my breath.
I'm sure there's a sexy librarian out there somewhere ;)
And merry christmas to you too mister.
Merry Christmas to you and all Drunken Vikings everywhere. I think any fur blanket would work.
Hey there.
Just stopped by to say hi. Hope that you boys had a nice christmas.
lol, all great thoughts.
Merry Christmas guys!
The only librarians I have seen are old and grey haired. But you never know.
I wouldn't grab the bull by the horns either, but the horns you wear in the bath look pretty harmless.
Happy Christmas.
Merry Christmas!!
Yeah, my old librarian was over weight, had blue hair and "torpedo tits"...as you can imagine they pointed out like torpedos. If you poked her cause you had a question she would scream "don't touch me unless you have money" Oh MY!!!
I've been reading Prologemona to any future metaphysics lately if you want to get it on sometime.
Dr - Love all the Xmas wishes I can get, and I'm still holding out hope for the librarian too. Merry Christmas.
Sarcastic - Merry Christmas and fur blankets are nice in the winter but can't quite compare to the rug. Close, but not quite . . .
Sherry - We did and I hope yours went equally well. Let's hope the New Year continues on that tract, eh?
Grace - Merry Xmas and glad you liked them as it took a few bottles of vino to produce.
Carmel - Merry Christmas and looks can be decieving on the horns. Ha.
Miss Ash - Love the torpedo tits line as I can picture those perfectly and that is an adept observation. Too bad.
Jackie - That subject sounds way over my head as I can barely pronounce it, although I have lied about being tied to metaphysics once. Long story.