2 Dollar Productions

"Nice Beaver."

"Thanks. I just had it stuffed." - Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Pressley, "The Naked Gun"


It's been a short week which is always a welcome change at work, but it also means less time for celebrities to get into trouble. Luckily, Lindsay Lohan spread enough around starting with:

Getting charged with DUI after crashing her Mercedes into a sidewalk and then fleeing the scene. It was also reported that police allegedly found cocaine in the vehicle.


Then, less than 48 hours later, pictures emerged of a seemingly wasted Lohan passed out in the passenger seat of a car driven by a friend. Following that combination, Lohan checked herself into Promises rehab center - the same facility that Britney Spears fled to after her meltdown.


"She finally realizes it's the right thing to do," In Touch quoted a friend of the actress as saying. "She is going willingly."

By willingly, she meant that Lohan was told that copious amounts of booze and cocaine could be found in the trunk of her publicist's car, and then once Lohan rushed inside like a hyena, the door was slammed and she was taken off to rehab.

But the Memorial Day weekend also yielded some good Nicole Richie stories as the emaciated celeb held a barbecue and invited her friends to the event with promises to drink “massive amounts of beer . . . . take shots, pass out and wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems (sic).” She also suggested her guests turn up in “your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of jeans,” and that people would be weighed at the door.


Ignoring what was obviously (likely/possibly) a joke, doesn't it seem ironic that Richie would host a "barbecue" party when everyone knows she doesn't eat.

But the event was well-attended, and during the festivities "The O.C." actress Mischa Barton was rushed to hospital after suffering a bad reaction to medication, according to her reps. According to others, it was a heavy intake of cocaine and mushrooms that made Barton ill and forced her trip to the ER.


Doctors were able to diagnosis Barton's malady, sent her home with strict instructions to rest, but were unable to discover where her career went.

Kevin Costner said this week that he has forgiven Madonna for making fun of him in her 1991 documentary Truth or Dare.

In the film, Costner visits Madonna backstage after a concert and describes the performance as ''neat.'' After he leaves, Madonna pretends to stick her finger down her throat and says, 'Anybody who says my show is `neat' has to go. The singer later apologized at another concert with Costner in attendance.



I'm glad Costner got his apology because I'm still waiting for him to make amends for foisting "The Postman" on unsuspecting audiences more than a decade ago.

Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and the Universal Orlando Resort said they will open a theme park in Florida based on the Harry Potter novels in late 2009.


Finally, a place for the whole family to visit including that 35-year-old guy who still lives in his parent's basement.

The New York Post reported this week that "handlers are working overtime" to ensure that a showdown between Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel doesn't happen at Sunday's MTV Movie Awards, where both actresses are scheduled to present.


I would love (LOVE) to see a brouhaha between the pair, but to keep such violence away from children's delicate eyes, I would gladly offer to sit between the starlets and keep them apart or at the very least be the meat in a thespian sandwich.

That's a beautiful image for me, but let's end with an even better one:


I normally advise people to sit up straight, but I might have to reconsider this stance moving forward. But regardless of your posture, stick your chest out, keep your head up high and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS