Blog Archive

Giants Hogs And The End Of The World . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Thursday, May 31, 2007

I'm sure most people have heard about the Alabama boy and his giant hog by now, but this story continues to disturb me.

I am not as interested in whether this was a hoax or not, whether Jamison Stone (age 11) actually killed this beast which his father claims measured 9 feet 4 inches, and weighed 1,051 pounds, but what concerns me the most is that mutant hogs like this one might be roaming freely across the United States.

If this is actually true, then it seems like a sign that the Apocalypse might be upon us. It also gives me very little motivation to ever pass through Alabama lest I be impaled by an unholy beast like this one.

Just seeing this swollen hog laid out like 600 lbs of sausage gives me the Fear. The massive hide. The tusks. The whole package screams of something spawned in hell, and it seems to beckon a reckoning of epic proportions.

But Jamison had no such fear as he told the Associated Press:

"It feels really good," Jamison said "It's a good accomplishment. I probably won't ever kill anything else that big."

Let's hope not because if the wild pigs get much larger than this, I'm nearly certain that the next appearance will be the 4 Horseman riding into town brandishing fire and brimstone.

I plan to ask for an explanation of the popularity of Josh Hartnett and "According to Jim" before I'm engulfed in flames.



  1. I think it's pretty interesting that a creature could grow to that size in a nation of 300 million people. And its the existance of hideous freaks of nature like this hog that make Josh Harnett "pretty" by comparison.

  2. julia Says:
  3. yeah, i saw this story on perez and that was my reaction as well - giant animals in the US? this is suspiciously R.O.U.S.-like. I'm hoping it's a hoax because that thing is fucking scary.

  4. Whatigot - Interesting and terrifying. But I like your Hartnett theory quite a bit.

    Julia - This was national news as I saw it on CNN and many other "news" outlets. I don't think it's a hoax (simply a gut feeling) and that scares me even more. Prepare for doom.

  5. Anonymous Says:
  6. A hoax ? - Kind of. In the picture you posted (which is the primary photo that is being shown throughout the media), the kid is standing several feet behind the pig, making the pig appear larger than it actually is. It's still a Got-Damn huge pig, though.

  7. vivavavoom Says:
  8. I had the same reaction. I had heard it was a hoax and photoshopped but not positive. Did they confirm it was true, because if so I am right there with you. where there is one, there has to be more. ewwwww.

    Maybe Bigfoot lives in Alabama too.

    And yes....I have no idea why women (and some men)find Josh Harnett attractive but the fact that you could tie them together in this entry means you truly are a genius and funny as hell.

  9. Wendy Says:
  10. I was going to make a mother-in-law joke, but that wouldn't be fair to the pig.

  11. JLee Says:
  12. Maybe the kids is really, really tiny?

  13. Jlee made me laugh out loud.

    Why is a kid of this age, armed with a gun and killing? I know it's an animal, but was there a point to hunting this hog down?

    OK, the Vegetarina in me is coming out, but still.... a gun?

  14. cats Says:
  15. i'm so glad this picture concerns others as well. ye gads! what do they put in the water out there?

    btw, found you through the boston pobble.

  16. nobich Says:
  17. lab hog?! yikes!

  18. BostonPobble Says:
  19. This is disturbing on So Many Levels. So Many Levels.

    And Josh Hartnett now, all greasy, not so much. But then? Circa "Pearl Harbor"? oh my...

  20. Anonymous - I know it's a proportion thing for sure, but still, if the damn pig weighed over 1,000 lbs - holy crap. Thanks for the extra insight.

    Vivavavoom - I've heard more people confirming it's true than false. As for Harnett, I have a long-standing irriatation with him and for whatever reason, this entry brought it back to the surface.

    Wendy - Ouch. Ha. But surely she isn't as intimidating as this creature. If so, I pity you.

    Jlee - The kid looks like an 11-year-old to me as I bet he's normal size and that hog is the mutant.

    Anonymous Boxer - How can you box so much AND be a vegetarian. Ha. Doesn't go together in my mind, but . . . As for the pig, if there are truly hogs that big running amok I think they should be hunted down for general safety and to help my mental state (and I don't hunt at all).

    Cats - That's what I'm saying too. Ha. Terrifying that things are growing this large in Alabama, and I"m glad Pobble sent you over as she is good people.

    Nobich - No lab now unless it's the sausage one as I read that it will yield 500 - 600 lbs of it.

    BostonPobble - Disturbing and a precursor to the end . . . possibly. My main problem with Hartnett is that he appears ready to weep uncontrollably at most moments on-screen (at least he used to - not sure about recent stuff).

  21. Miss Ash Says:
  22. I had not heard of this large pig and the boy with the gun. Then again I don't read the National Enquirer :P

    Crazy if it's true.

  23. That much pork is just plain scary. Kudos to him if he did kill it and thankfully he isn't looking to kill anything bigger.

  24. By the way...We should be glad this hog wasn't part of the "Cows With Guns" video on YouTube or else we would be in big trouble.

  25. Miss Ash - You SHOULD start reading the Enquirer as there is a lot to glean there, but this story is legit - it's been on all the major media outlets too. Beware.

    Sarcastic - I haven't seen the series, but will have to check it out. That being said, a hog this size is fearsome enough without artillery - if they start arming themselves then I'm leaving the country ASAP.

  26. Well, if it helps you sleep better at night, then I agree. Afterall, you're located closer than I am to this part of country.

    Vegetarian Boxer...I may punch, but I don't shoot.

  27. SymplyAmused Says:
  28. I wonder what is in the water there? It's scary!!

  29. Anonymous Boxer - "Vegetarian Boxer...I may punch, but I don't shoot" sounds like a bumper sticker. But thanks for understanding about the hog.

    Symplyamused - Exactly. Maybe somebody is breeding these things down there & feeding them enhanced H20. A new angle.

  30. Melissa Says:
  31. Maybe it's like a three legged Chernobly chicken. I bet there's some serious chops on that hog.

  32. J7 L7+ Says:
  33. Now all we need are some big-ass chickens and we can make one helluva breakfast. Dibs on the rump.

  34. Melissa - Yep. And bacon, ribs, etc., but I"m not sure how tough/gamey it would taste from something that large and wild.

    J717 - I'm more into the pork ribs it could produce, but again, I worry about the taste of that hog. But I am always up for a big breakfast so . . .

  35. Linda Says:
  36. No more pork for me, that photo is gross, and looks pretty fake. As for Hartnett, ran into him in a bar in NYC last year. Words that come to mind? Yummy and charming *sigh*. For years my daughter had his pictures plastered all over her room, didn't get it then, now I do! Happy Friday!!!!!

  37. You meet everybody, and while I'll respect your opinion on Hartnett (I would allow he seems nice enough, just boring), I would rather hang out with Christopher Guest. Ha.

  38. Linda Says:
  39. Me too!!

  40. Robert Says:
  41. The latest is that it was a farm-raised hog. I've read they can get big raised on a farm but it's unlikely in the wild.

    Also, the father has some pictures up on his site ( trying to explain away a reporter's statement that the photos were doctored. Comparing the photos, you can see that the pig was enlarged to make it look bigger than it was (though it was still large). If you look closely at the individuals, you can see that the wrinkles in the shirts are the same in both pictures. Somehow the pig expands while the scenery around it remains the same.

    Here is the article he was talking about on Stinky Journalism.

  42. Linda - Glad to hear it. Smart choice. Ha.

    Robert - I read yesterday about how it was a farm-raised hog, but it was still damn big! Thanks for the link as I knew about the site, but wasn't sure how to get over there. Strange any way you slice it.


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