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Random Ass Tuesday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Everyone has heard the expression that a zebra can't change its stripes. Or a leopard can't change its spots. Or Paris Hilton cannot simply stop "acting dumb" as she told Barbara Walters this week.

Maybe that last one isn't as applicable, but it doesn’t change the underlying message that has been turned on its head by the discovery of this new frog species in South America:

I generally loathe most amphibians and nearly all reptiles, but this new frog is pretty damn cool.

But it does call into question these sayings because apparently a frog can change certain things about its appearance. Despite this new evidence, however, I'll eat my own fist if Hilton joins MENSA following her release from jail.

Speaking of faulty logic, a reader wrote to the Playboy Advisor this month with the following problem:

My wife wants me to masturbate for her and eat my own come. She says if it's good for her, it should be good for me. What's the best way to deal with this?

Just say no - sometimes no line of reasoning is worth the action that ensues.



  1. SymplyAmused Says:
  2. I saw that frog picture too. It is cool!! Paris...blech.

  3. Maybe not MENSA but judging by current standards, she's smart enough for politics. Governor Hilton?
    No matter what mags you decide to shed, Playboy is obviously one of the keepers.

  4. vivavavoom Says:
  5. wonder what trip you get if you lick the frog..and who is the scientist that you know will try it.

    I think that woman has some pretty good logic regarding the cum. have her hubby drink some beer, it will taste better. and have her drink some can't hurt.

  6. oh man!! that question!! really tough. I'd go with something along the lines of "I swallow yours, you swallow mine" (although I always found it slightly disturbing when a girl WANTS to swallow or get sprayed across the face).

  7. A guy tasting cum can be seen as a sign of gayness. Some men don't want to be gay and that's okay. But to taste your own, that's just weird. The problem really is the fact that the guy won't go down on his wife, but he won't say that in his letter.

  8. Anonymous Says:
  9. I gotta tell ya - I certainly like your response better than the Playboy advisor's !

  10. Symplyamused - I agree 100% with both statements.

    Getofffmylawn - Easily smart enough for politics as that standard is fairly low. And there is no doubt about Playboy - none at all.

    Vivavavoom - I bet you would get a vivid and colorful trip judging by the look of the frog. As for the question, the only way this would be possible for the man would involve heavy drinking.

    Idig - It is slightly disturbing, although it is also a turn-on if a girl says that. But I still have no desire to taste myself.

    WhatIgot - I think you might have cut through the bullshit to the crux of this problem - a failure to go down on his wife.

    Anonymous - Thanks. That's why I didn't print theirs as I thought it was wishy-washy (and I usually like the answers).

  11. JLee Says:
  12. That is some cool coloring on that frog...

    That is a pretty funny reader question. She kind of backed him into the corner, eh? haha
    I agree with the "just say no" answer. Or maybe she just needs to "just say no" instead of giving him these crazy scenarios!

  13. Wendy Says:
  14. I was going to write that you'd probably get more stoned licking Paris Hilton than you would that frog, but thinking about it made me throw up in my mouth a little.

  15. Miss Ash Says:
  16. Get off my lawn has a point as far as politics are concerned.

    Maybe the husband should ask his wife to pick her nose and eat it, or to eat her own shit or something along those lines.

    I would like a funky pink frog for Christmas, soooo cool!!

  17. Jlee - Yeah, I wouldn't budge on that request, and would try to persausively argue for a continuation on her end. A double standard I know.

    Wendy - Ha. That's a funny image all the way around. I bet Paris tastes like cotton candy and sex.

    Miss Ash - They would make cool gifts wouldn't they? And as little I was succomb to her request I would eat that before my own shit. This is a terrible dilema.

  18. Wendy Says:
  19. I was thinking more like Ritalin and Cristal. (Still throwing up.)

  20. Paris Hilton and MENSA are only being said/written in the same breath because they are not meant to be together. I don't care who you are why would you tell anyone (and especially a reporter) that you cannot stop acting dumb. Boy, I'm relieved to know we all will still get to enjoy the dumb things she does. I don't know how I would have lived otherwise.

  21. Wendy - Yours is probably closer to being right. Sorry for your digestive tract all day today.

    Sarcastic - There's a morbid curiosity about watching it, but it doesn't leave you feeling very good about yourself. If it really is an act, then very few people are laughing.

  22. Sherry Says:
  23. The acronym mensa is funny because it's a spanish word that translates to stupid. That would be the only way that Paris is ever affiliated with them.

    You want to hear something really scary about Paris? (just rumors right now) but... word is that there are talks about her being a host for The View


  24. I heard that about the View, but that sounds like wishful thinking on Walter's part. Besides, don't you have to have a viewpoint to be on the show? Maybe not.

    But that is interesting about the Mensa meaning.


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