Blog Archive

Shake Off The Laziness . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Saturday, June 16, 2007

I found myself at Jack in the Box very late last night after an evening full of bullshit and more than a few libations (sp?) to keep me sane.

I ordered a bag full of grease, and topped it off with a Blackberry shake complete with whipped cream and a cherry on top. The shake was what I was truly looking forward to as it had been a hot, steamy night.

As I drove home, the shake taunted me in my cup holder, and after pulling into the garage, it appeared that two trips up and down my staircase was going to be necessary to haul all the crap I had picked up during the day inside my loft.

This was unacceptable as I have steep stairs and I wanted to tear into that shake. But in addition to the bag of food and shake, I also had to carry up:

1) A full gym bag
2) Coffee travel mug 1/4 full of cold coffee
3) One sack of groceries
4) One 12-pack of Squirt (for a tequila drink I wanted to make)
5) Insulated lunch box from work
6) Blackberry

So, I slung the gym bag over my shoulder, grabbed the lunch sack by the handle, shoved the Berry in my pocket, wedged the Squirt under one arm, looped the grocery sack through two finger, balanced the food on top of the lunch box, put the coffee mug in the other arm and had the shake precariously balanced in the web of my thumb and pressed against my shoulder to hold it upright.

I got the garage door down and made it to the top of the stairs, key fitted into the lock when the shake toppled forward, dangled on arm and then splattered on my clothes, the staircase and the door.

Cursing loudly, I walked inside and got more of it on the floor and the kitchen cabinets as threw the rest of the stuff down and spent the next 30 minutes cleaning myself, the staircase and my kitchen as the food grew cold.

The shake turned into my worst enemy, and I didn't get to sample even a tiny taste as I refused to lick the stairwell (though I briefly condsidered it).

I'm sure there was some Aesop's Fables type lesson in this ordeal about laziness or letting your hubris overwhelm all rational thought, but I was in no mood to ponder it - I just wanted a shake that I never got.



  1. JLee Says:
  2. Oh man, I've done this. I probably would have left the cold coffee/travel mug for later though. It can wait. That whole scenario usually ends badly. This post would have been MUCH better had you actually licked the shake off the floor. haha

    Hope you went and got one today to make up for the debacle!

  3. vivavavoom Says:
  4. well written...I actually felt like I could see the shake fall in slow motion...bummer....but since it will probably be just as hot tonight...go get one...see if the angst was worth it.

  5. I would have sat in the car with the radio on and drank the shake. Then I would have gone inside with all the other stuff. Or I would have taken two trips.

    Good story though.

  6. Jlee - It's pretty damn irritating, eh? I know it was for me. And I haven't been back yet, but I will as it's only a matter of time.

    Vivavavoom - Very true. And I'm going to a concert tonight, so there's a decent possibility for a return trip. Let's hope for a better result next time.

    WhatIgot - That would have been a good idea as I had the top down, and a good CD in the changer. Next time.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.  
  8. SymplyAmused Says:
  9. Bummer!

  10. Why do we think we are human pack mules? I do the very same thing... loading myself up and then being punished. However, I must admit the only thing I was REALLY thinking while reading this was, Jack in the Box has BLACKBERRY milkshakes???? And then let out an audible WAAAAAA when I read of its demise.

  11. The 16th Centrury Samurai, Miyamoto Musashi said,"Whenfaced with ten or more opponents... fight with two swords." Never give in. Have it all in one trip... or nothing! I admire that.

  12. Symplyamused - To say the least.

    Anonymous Boxer - I feel your pain, and the fact that I didn't know about this new Blackberry flavor made it all the more painful. Brutal. Love the pack mule line.

    Getoffmylawn - That was my mantra even though I have not read that passage. But I like it - quite a bit. I just wish the outcome was better. Next time, eh?

  13. J7 L7+ Says:
  14. 2 dolla - Gotta do the two-trip, my man. If I've learned anything from life, it's all about the slow and steady. Especially when there is food involved. It only takes a few splatted milkshakes to make you appreciate taking two trips and doing it right. Sweet digs BTW.

  15. Miss Ash Says:
  16. Umm I don't feel sorry for you haha. You live in a gorgeous loft so suck it up :P

    I would have drank half the shake on the way home, starbucks rarely lasts too long in my car. That or you should have taken two trips silly.

  17. J717+ - Thanks, and you're right about the slow & steady & two trips & one of these days, I might just learn that concept.

    Miss Ash - That's pretty harsh. Ha. And I would have drank some of the shake, but my car is a stick so there was a lot of shifting involved and therefore not conducive to shake-drinking.

  18. Grace Says:
  19. Awww, that's so sad. I would have honestly cried if it were me. After wanting something so bad, going out and getting it, and then just seeing it fall all over the floor... so sad. I hope you've gotten another one since. I think you deserve it after that whole ordeal.

  20. My first reaction was to curse rather than cry, but that would have been OK in my book because I wanted that damn shake pretty badly.

    And so far, I haven't returned for one.

  21. KJ Says:
  22. Damn it!
    I remember spilling a Coke as a child and my brothers yelling:
    "Don't WASTE it!!!"
    You have to understand how precious Coke was in our house in those days..ha
    Liquid gold, Texas tea..

  23. Sherry Says:
  24. Blackberry milkshakes?
    Gonna have to try one of those when I decide to veer off of my low-carb lifestyle, one of my all around favorites is Cookies N'Cream though.

    Guess you won't be doing that again, huh? Not anytime soon anyway.

  25. KJ - Damn right it was sad. Ha. I like the Texas Tea as I hadn't heard that one before (although I was partial to Dr. Pepper growing up).

    Sherry - Cookies and Cream is an all-timer there, and I haven't had one for quite awhile. Obviously, I cannot vouche for the tastiness of the Blackberry flavor.


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