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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, July 27, 2007

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist," - Kevin Spacey, "The Usual Suspects"

I've been half-sick all week since swilling Vodka in Houston last weekend, but I think we should all feel slightly better with the knowledge that none of us are Lindsay Lohan. That is a comforting thing because:

Just 11 days after completing an extended stint at Promises rehab facility, her second tour of duty in treatment this year, Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine.

Lohan later claimed the cocaine found did not belong to her.

That excuse might have worked on Lohan's mother, Dina, who would let her daughter do anything she wanted as long as Lindsay continued to pay the bills, but I have a strong suspicion that the police and the Courts won't be as forgiving this time around.

Joining in the "Dumb and Dumber" hijinks was Britney Spears whose controversial new interview with OK! magazine started 45 minutes late and ended with the pop star storming off after two hours with more than $15,000 of designer clothes and jewelry hired for the accompanying photo shoot, according to the magazine.

Spears also damaged designer clothes, which included an Alisha Levine dress she left with grease stains after wiping the remnants of a fried chicken lunch on it.

The only person happy with interview and photo shoot that went horribly awry was Colonel Sanders, who's always a winner in my book.

But back to the police reports as Ja Rule and Lil Wayne were each arrested this week for possessing a loaded handgun after separate traffic stops on the streets of Manhattan’s Upper West Side, the police said.

Maybe the rappers were on their way to play a real life version of the computer game: Shoot The Rapper which caused controversy this week and then caused . . .

Rapper 50 Cent to sue an Internet advertising company for $1 million, claiming it illegally used his image in a game where the player pretends to shoot him.

In a statement, 50 said that while he might get rich by trading on his own wounds that "some Internet geek has no right to cash in on my bullets."

It was announced this week that CBS will pay Drew Carey a high seven-figure annual salary to replace Bob Barker as host of "The Price Is Right"

Carey also announced that his first show will sign off with "Always remember to spay and neuter your pets and Rosie O'Donnell."

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes along with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett threw a bash for the arrival of David and Victoria Beckham in Los Angeles this week.

The party consisted of intense talk about Xenu and Cruise's forthcoming ascension to a higher plane as well as an orgy atop stacks of $100 bills. No food was served at the event.

Singer Kelly Clarkson has ended her high-profile feud with her record label boss Clive Davis, calling him "one of the great record men of all time" after arguments over material on her new album, My December, were thought to have caused the Grammy-winning vocalist to have fallen out with the BMG chairman.

"I really regret how this has turned out and I apologies to those whom I have done disservice," Clarkson said.

In response, Davis cancelled the contract he had taken out on Clarkson's life.

In uplifting news, Jessica Alba is single again after ending the romance with longtime boyfriend, film producer Cash Warren, media reported Thursday.

She reportedly called him and told him "I'm not in love with you anymore."

Alba later added that she was "passionately in love with a devastatingly handsome writer for 2 Dollar Productions, but I'm not naming names." And I won't either.

Since we're on a happy note, let's wrap this week up with:

That looks a little dangerous to me, but what's life without risk? So, with that in mind, stay on your feet today, glide through work and . . . Happy Friday!



  1. Hooray for the Colonel. That guy's my hero.

  2. He's a hero to one and all and a man with secret spices up his sleeve as well.

  3. angel, jr. Says:
  4. I can never look at roller skates again after staying up late one night and watching Linda Blair in some movie involving roller skates.
    And why I watched a good part of the movie, I can't explain.

  5. BostonPobble Says:
  6. Oooo! You heartbreaker you. Because we all know that Jessica's heart will indeed be broken because of how fabulously in love with Mrs. $$ you truly are.

    And no one has ever thrown me a party complete with paparazzi just for relocating. I have to work on this...

  7. WTF is Jada Pinkett wearing? She's usually so smart about her clothes.

    Glad you're feeling and better and Happy Friday!

  8. Vodka can be dangerous, but I'm sure you'll try it again. HA

    I'm happy for one Drew Carey got the nod...I predicted it about 2 weeks ago to my son, who wondered why nobody had thought of him before. I just wish I got the credit for suggesting it.

    LiLo looks so classy in that picture. I think everyone should have a picture with an alcohol monitoring bracelet and a bikini. That would be a great spread in Playboy for their issue on "Dirty Girls in Jail."

  9. Angel Jr - I think of Sonic and roller skates, but then again, I've never seen the Linda Blair movie (and maybe that's a good thing).

    Bostonpobble - I know. Getting a grand party thrown just for moving to town seems like it happens far too infrequently for me as well. And don’t worry about Alba and the very understanding Mrs. $$ as I think Alba is on my Top 5 list of celebs that Mrs. $$ cannot get mad at for cheating (although I need to consult this list).

    Anonymous Boxer - I'm glad I'm on the mend as well, and Jada Pinkett looks almost gaunt/too hard these days. It's a little scary to me regardless of what she is wearing.

    Sarcastic - I'll take Carey over O'Donnell anyday, and it's too bad they weren't taking bets in Vegas or you could have made some money. I think Lohan actually looked really good in that pic (w/out the bracelet of course). Now, her movie that opened today is bound to tank and the Playboy gig might sound better and better.

  10. nobich Says:
  11. Happy Friday

  12. Miss Ash Says:
  13. So Ms. Alba is in love with your brother .. HaHa!!!

    Why does Katie look like an amazon in the photo, she's towering over everyone it seems.

  14. Wendy Says:
  15. I'm with Anonymous Boxer. I was mesmerized by Jada Pinkett's ugly-ass shoes. With apologies to Dr. Martens, my favorite brand.

  16. JLee Says:
  17. oooh Miss Ash just zinged you... Payow! haha
    I love Drew Carey and would totally watch Price is Right if he took over. Man, that last pic makes me wanna go rollerderbying! woo hoo Happy Friday.

  18. Nobich - Happy Friday to you.

    Miss Ash - Ouch. You're lucky that you're in Canada and that these trifling matters don't get to me (and Alba's love softens the blow too). Ha. As for Katie, she's wearing heels and nobody else in the pic is very tall.

    Wendy - It's funny, but I didn't even notice her shoes until AB pointed them out. But if you're against them too, then I'll have to pay more attention to these travesties in the future. Ha.

    Jlee - Rollerblading - possibly. Ha. And I let insults roll right off my back, much like Carey I'm sure. But he's a solid choice for PIR.

  19. Before I comment on anything I first gotta say, Why do 50 cents look like he should be my Baby Daddy! Dayyum! Whew!

    Ok now that I got that out the way.
    1. Usual suspects is one of my favorite movies.
    2. Lindsey Lohan is a hot mess. And why is she always in a freakin' bathing suite?
    3. Seeing Jarule standing there trying to look hard is just to hilarious. He looks nothing like 50 cents. ;-)
    4. I didn't think Jada Pinkett looked bad. The first thing I thought was, what's up with that shiny ass suite Will has on.
    5. Jessica Alba is very sexy and I can say that because I'm secure in my womanhood.
    6. That last picture...I'll just leave it alone. There are no words.

    Have a good weekend

  20. 50 needs a cristal enema... and a soul... and a speech and language pathologist. Pleathe don't thoot me 50!

  21. vivavavoom Says:
  22. Lindsay Lohan is a mess and her falling off the wagon is no shocker. I doubt she was really on the wagon to begin with. who comes out of rehab and has a party with all the people she use to drugs with. girl didn't read the 12 steps very well did she.

    Now I will go on a little please excuse me

    my real issue with the recent DUI is
    1) she played the race card..telling the cops the 'black guy was driving'. that poor black guy was in the backseat and then IF (supposedly) the black guy was driving, and failed a sobriety test and had cocaine in his pants, my guess is he would be in jail right bond! But somehow ms. lohan, who was driving, was drunk, and had cocaine on her is in some secret place ready to tell her story for $$$$ to OK. That is Bullshit!!!! and that is why celebs keep doing this stuff. they somehow get away with it. okay tirade is over.....for now.

  23. Trina - I appreciate your thorough analysis of this report. And I would agree about 50 having far more clout than Ja Rule, Lindsay being described as "a hot mess" is dead-on and I thought the same thing about Will's suit as it seemed a bit off to me (no wonder he's wearing sunglasses).

    Getoffmylawn - These days 50 is more likely to shoot his tax guy for not getting him enough breaks because of all the money he's making from endorsements and vitamin water. Crazy.

    Vivavavoom - I just heard about this "the black guy was driving" thing, and I had to laugh because it's so pitiful. Nobody will believe Lohan, just like nobody will believe she was holding the cocaine in her pocket for a "friend." It's all one big pile of steaming bullshit.


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