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Harry Grande Burritos . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Sunday, July 15, 2007

I woke up yesterday, it was drizzling and on a whim I decided to go see "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" at 9:30 a.m. But I was hungry. Damn hungry and I felt it was too early for movie popcorn and only people with low or nonexistent morals choose to eat nachos purchased inside the theater.

So I opted for a bold plan that included smuggling in a contraband "grande breakfast burrito" from a Wendy's close to my loft.

I wore cargo shorts with many deep pockets, an untucked button-down and loaded the burrito in one pocket and a water in the other. Feeling like a fugitive, I made it into the theater without incident, and when the movie began, I quietly unpealed the wrapper and it was then that a potent smell of eggs, potatoes, peppers and onions was unleashed upon the other 30 or so people in the audience.

The two people sitting almost directly behind me whispered "what's that smell?" and looked around in vain. A single man sitting roughly six seats away crinkled his nose, but had no better idea of the culprit.

I was stealthy as a trained ninja and ate only when it was a dark part in the movie and when there were loud noises coming from the scene. It worked to perfection.

Nobody called me it, and it was the ideal meal to eat at 9:30 am on a rainy Saturday when popcorn wouldn't satisfy the lust inside me for a substantial meal.

As for the movie itself, it was proficient and solid and not much else in my mind. It's extremely difficult to condense a 900 page book into 2 1/2 hours of screentime and I thought the filmmakers did a credible job.

The cast of children were uniformly good as they navigated the waters of teen angst and sullen irritation without becoming annoying.

The third Potter film is still the best, but Phoenix can only reasonably be compared to the fourth film which was also based on a mammoth book. I think the previous installment was slightly better than this latest one, but only slightly and I can't recall exactly what I'm basing that opinion on.

On the other hand, I didn't have a tasty burrito to eat during part four, which might just push "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" over "Goblet of Fire" through circumstances beyond the filmmaker's control.



  1. Linda Says:
  2. The Potter kids are growing up well, I enjoyed Order of the Phoenix as well. I also agree with sneaking breakfast food into a morning movie, done it myself. Popcorn just doesn't cut it at that hour!

  3. I'm jealous of your Wendy's with a breakfast menu.

  4. Linda - Agreed on both fronts. I also liked the addition of the girl who played Luna Lovegood (or something like that) as she was very good.

    WhatIgot - They're not at all Wendy's as they are rolling it out to test it at some of them. It's pretty good, but rating fast food breakfast I'd still go with McDonald's.

  5. Miss Ash Says:
  6. The more important question is why were you up on Saturday at 9:30am? Not only up at 9:30am but you must have been up much sooner, to be in the theater that early.

    I don't think the Wendy's here have breaky.

  7. I didn't know Wendy's had breakfast food!

  8. Well done - I had a friend sneak an entire pizza into a theater once. (she wore a poncho?)

    Glad to have your review.

  9. I prefer Burger Kings breakfast to McDs. I think BK makes a better english muffin sandwich and they have both french toast and pancakes. But not all BKs have the breakfast menu, you've got to look for them. Or... find a greasy spoon with an all day breakfast. Those places are the best. Pancakes the size of your head at any time.

  10. Anything stolen or contraband tastes better. This principle casts doubt on the quality of the burrito and the movie. Consider writing to Wendy's and recommending that breakfast burritos only be sold by guys in trenchcoats outside of movie theatres showing children's movies. That would be a study worthy of Dave himself (God rest his soul).

  11. Miss Ash - Many years of work as a personal trainer has made it impossible for me to sleep past about 8:30 am no matter how late I stay out. But I can nap like a son of a bitch.

    Sarcastic - Not all of them do yet, but you should check if any of your local ones do as I like their Frescuit breakfast sandwich as well.

    Anonymous Boxer - Now that is impressive, and I think that is the only time I would wear a poncho. Ha. Another good one was when I had two Burger King sandwiches stuffed down the front of a pair of athletic shorts and one of them started slipping . . . Luckily I caught it before it hit the floor in the theater lobby.

    WhatIgot - Never had the English muffin at BK, but I used to like a Croisandwich (sp?) now and again. But a greasy spoon is far better than any of the fast food options.

    Getoffmylawn - Ha. Now that would be a study worth funding, although that is probably not the most desirable demographic to shoot for or market at (at least I hope not). But you are certainly correct that all smuggled goods taste better automatically. Always.

  12. vivavavoom Says:
  13. amazing how potent that burrito smell can be.
    they better hurry up making those movies....those kids are looking so much older. I have heard mixed reviews. My son wants to go. I lost steam with the hype after the last one....
    my husband says don't see the transformers movie if you value your time!!

  14. Wendy Says:
  15. Dude, did you just say you stuck a burrito in your pants? Shouldn't that be in one of your Drunken Viking posts?

  16. Vivavavoom -I believe your husband's take on the Transformers as it looked loud and little else. And the Potter movies are just something to see as I ended up reading the books last year. The movie is OK, and I've seen the mixed reviews as well.

    Wendy - I had the burrito in my pants pocket, I once had BK sandwiches down my pants. Another time, another story. Maybe a Viking post.

  17. SymplyAmused Says:
  18. I saw that movie last Friday. Finally. If I ever smell breakfast food at a movie, I'm looking for you! : )

  19. I know. I've just given myself away. Ha.


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