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Random Ass Tuesday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, May 29, 2007

It feels like a random day today as I've got piles of work to catch up with, a Memorial Weekend hangover to cure and lots of coffee to drink.

But I couldn't start any of that before remarking on how much I've always respected Dennis Haskins, aka Mr. Belding from "Saved by the Bell," as he always dispensed wisdom and justice to Zack and the gang with an even hand and clear mind.

It must be this good karma he created that gives him the magnetism to net babes like these:

I guess it does pay to be a high school principle, eh?

Moving down the respect meter, however, Nicole Richie simply needs to lock herself away in rehab until she gets healthy because appearing in public like this is far from it:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, until Richie gets some weight back on her frame, she boasts all the sex appeal of a 90-year-old Florida retiree withering in sun while playing bridge.

But there are depths far below Richie, and R. Kelly is the man to take things straight into the toilet.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned this gem of a quote from the man facing roughly a dozen charges concerning alleged sex with a minor.

"My greatest competition is, well, me . . . I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now."

Kelly has a new album about to drop, and one of his songs on the album, "The Zoo," features some powerful imagery and verbal mastery that might prove his genius after all.

"I got you so wet, it's like a rainforest
Like Jurassic Park, except I'm your sexosaurus, babe.'' - "The Zoo"

The man is a true poet.

But I have neither the time nor the inclination to ponder the deep undercurrents of R. Kelly as the coffee has now been brewed, and I'm sure things will get less random after the first cup.

At least it's a short week.



  1. Looks to me that R. Kelly has got some real competition... in Bayside! Oh yeah, go Belding!

  2. Carmel Says:
  3. Whoa Nicole is looking like she does play bridge in florida.
    She has Paris Hilton hairdo gone wrong too.
    Seriously though, I hope she eats soon.

  4. Wendy Says:
  5. Mmmm... wet... like a rainforest... dank, swampy and full of poisonous reptiles.

  6. WhatIgot - My hat is off to the man (Mr Belding of course). Bravo.

    Carmel - She does need to stay in rehab for awhile as her hair looks like it might be falling out as I don't know how anything can live on/in her body with no nutritional intake.

    Wendy - Exactly. Nowhere I personally want to go, but to each his own. BTW - did you read the R. Kelly article in the latest Newsweek - there's at least one very funny sentence in there.

  7. Wendy Says:
  8. Read the article, but felt sick. Did you mean his "inspirational" song called "Rise Up"? Icky barf.

  9. I just recall this one aside that read something like: "2 of Kelly's biggest hits are 'I'll Fly Away' and 'I like the crotch on you.' Obviously, Mr. Kelly is a complicated man."

    It was the last part that got me.

  10. SymplyAmused Says:
  11. I wanna be skinnier but not THAT skinny! ICK!

  12. vivavavoom Says:
  13. I showed that pic from TMZ of Mr. Belding to the hubby...he has this weird fascination with that show....doesn't even look like him, but at least he is still getting some (or trying to). That Dustin Diamond is a disgrace on that Celebrity Fit Club and hocking a porn. seeing screech naked and getting laid is so far off any list of mine.

    how does R. Kelly still have a career when he is doing what Jacko does but with young girls?

  14. BostonPobble Says:
  15. Posting are a very brave man. For me, it would be very (VERY) stupid. I can't even think before coffee, let alone type pre-coffee. Your talents know no depths.

  16. JLee Says:
  17. Can I have a cup of that coffee? ug Man, Mr. Belding is looking remarkably like Willard Scott these days...
    As far as R. Kelly, his lyrical talent is simply astounding.

  18. Symplyamused - Nobody should be that skinny.

    Vivavavoom - I have zero interest in the Screech sex tape featuring the "Dirty Sanchez." THe Kim Kardashain (sp?) video is another story entirely. As for Kelly, he will go to court one day (if he doens't pay off the girl and her parents first).

    BostonPobble - Some days the talent is like a deep well, and on other more like a rain puddle. I am not always this brave. Ha.

    Jlee - You can't buy talent like that. Good call on the Williard Scott parallel - that's pretty amusing.

  19. Miss Ash Says:
  20. Nicole looks like a bobblehead.

    As for Mr Kelly *shudder*

    I recall seeing a Shaquielle O'Neil video where he professed "My mom is my mom and my pops is my pops" HUH!!! Who listens to this crap?

  21. "all the sex appeal of a 90-year-old Florida retiree"


  22. Miss Ash - I'm with you on Shaq & I love the bobblehead comment, but you've got to give it up for Mr. Belding - he's the man.

    Anonymous Boxer - I'm glad you liked it because I love having things quoted back at me. Ha. It's just a shame to lose all your sex appeal.

  23. What happened to Mr Belding?! He looks like that serial killer guy that dressed up as a clown...

    I am constantly disappointed with Nicole as I think she has potential to be one hot mama! I often wonder where she gets her energy to get out of bed in the morning?!?! I wonder how she doesn't pass out??! Personally, if I haven't eaten by 10am I start feeling ill, woozy and extremely grumpy. Lucky that doesn't happen often.

  24. m Says:
  25. Wow. I thought R. Kelly couldn't get any worse after the "opera" he crapped out but I think he is getting lower and lower, taking misguided listeners along with him.

    This post sent me back to youtube to watch the Boondocks - search Trial of R Kelly.

  26. Friday - I'm right with you on the eating thing. As for Nicole, it's possible she could look pretty good, but that would require her to gain 10 - 20 lbs. and get some curves. Then, we'll re-evaluate.

    M - Thanks for the search idea. I had forgotten about that "Opera," but I saw some clips of his "Trapped in the Closet" thing and it was hilarious (although I don't think that was his intention).


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