1. non sequitur - a reply that has no relevance to what preceded it
I am a big fan of non sequiturs as I find them hilarious when they are done unintentionally, but then I also enjoy peppering them into my own conversations to shake things up or irritate somebody that is pissing me off.
Few things bring a discussion to a grinding halt than a well-placed one and here are a few of my favorites to be inserted into conversations as needed:
1) How much do you think I can bench press? 
2) Do you think it's hard to shear a sheep? 
3) There are gold ships and silver ships, but neither are as valuable as friendships. Think about it.
There are so many others out there, and half the fun is trying them out on a spur-of-the-moment inspiration. So, the next time some inane dialogue has got you down, throw something random into the mix and try not laugh - that ruins part of the fun.
-BDS
Hmm, as in,
"I like your blog"
bwahahah.
Actually, I do.
I like to break out my favorite from Willy Wonka (the new one)and say: "I like grapes"
Anonymous Boxer - Ha. That's good for any occassion, regardless of circumstances. Use it often (at least with me).
Jlee - Nice one too. I had forgotten that from Willy Wonka until you mentioned it. How do you respond to something like that? Make 'em try.
Jennifer always complains that I am the non sequitur queen, however mine truly are unintentional. Random shit pops into my head and makes its way out my mouth, rarely having to do with the conversation at hand.
Miss Ash - Like I said, I like that kind of thing and find it very funny, so you would be a welcome addition to a conversation.
Wendy - I'm a few years away from teenagers, but I can believe it about the conversational segues (from movies, old clients, etc). You gotta laugh . . .
Gold ships... How big we talkin'? For enough gold, I tell off everyone I know. Screw my friends, with a whole bunch of moneys, I can buy new ones.
I love lamp
anchorman
WhatIGot - Big enough to buy an army of new, improved ones. But it's the bizareness of the statement that people get lost in, the specifics are secondary. Ha.
Anonymous - Well played. "So damn hot. Milk was a bad idea."
The new one in our house is, "So what have you heard about Iri, Keeper of the Royal Rectum?"
Ha. There has to be a story around that one. Right?