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What Comes Next . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, April 16, 2007

Before watching "Grindhouse" this weekend, I saw a preview for the upcoming film, "Next," a thriller starring Nic Cage and Jessica Biel.

A brief synopsis: Cage was born with the ability to see two minutes into the future. After years of living in the shadows as a musician and gambler, he is recruited by the FBI to prevent future terrorist attacks, but Cage wants nothing to do with that gig, he simply wants to settle down with Biel and screw like rabbits (and I can't say I blame him).

Despite Biel's appearance and the fact that Cage is a fine actor (albeit one whose film choices have been more than questionable these past 5 years or so), I have no desire to see this movie as the plot doesn't do it for me.

And after the preview ended, my main question wasn't whether Cage could use his powers to stop a nuclear bomb from detonating in Los Angeles, it was how could someone who sees the future not realize how ridiculous they would look after choosing to sport a wig that could only rival Joe Pesci in "JFK" for sheer cinematic awfulness?

{Editor's Note: The extensions look far worse on a giant theater screen than they do here}

It's always good to use your powers for the greater good, but sometimes, charity has to start at home, or on your head.



  1. Miss Ash Says:
  2. I loathe Nic Cage, I will not be seeing this film.

  3. BostonPobble Says:
  4. First, I hadn't heard of thos movie until right now. Second, I think I understand why I hadn't heared of this movie until right now. Third, I can't get past the question "But...WHY?"

  5. Miss Ash - He was excellent in "Raising Arizona," "Leaving Las Vegas," and "Adaptation," but this one looks very bad.

    Bostonpobble - It's a question I can't shake and still have no good answer for. Why ineed?

  6. Next.

  7. SymplyAmused Says:
  8. I like Nic Cage but then, I am a strange one sometimes. Not sure I'll be seeing this movie though. I have The Wickerman and I've yet to even watch it. : )

  9. WhatIgot - Ha. That about sums it up.

    Symplyamused - I like Cage just fine (when he's not making crappy movies), but his choice in wigs in this film is flat-out ridiculous.

  10. SymplyAmused Says:
  11. I had no clue it was a wig. You'd think with him being a man, I'd notice that little fact, don't you? haha

  12. You have to stay on top of these tonsorial situations lest you get a nasty surprise one day. Ha.

  13. locomocos Says:
  14. so - Nic Cage is how old and Biel is his daughter? oh-wait - you said screw like rabbits...
    what's this movie REALLY about?


    I can't figure him out. He makes outstanding indie and edgy films on one hand - and then he does Conair and Snake Eyes on the other...

  15. IT's quite a mix, but I figure he's got to pay the bills somewhow. And no, Biel is not playing his daughter - this is Hollywood - remember? Ha.


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