2 Dollar Productions

"You look like a doily," - Ethan Hawke, "Reality Bites"


It seems like it's been rather slow in Hollywood this week, but I suppose these things happen as you can only have so many Britney melt-downs, so many Anna Nicole stories, and so many stars checking into rehab. Then again:

Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers, currently starring in Showtime's "The Tudors," checked into rehab for alcohol abuse this week.

His representative, Meredith O'Sullivan said "After a non-stop succession of filming, Jonathan Rhys Meyers has entered an alcohol-treatment program."


I suppose it's good to have someone check into rehab BEFORE saying/doing something amazingly stupid, but the rationale still seems lame because I work a succession of many days every single year and it has yet to drive me to seek help.

Beauty queen Shanna Moakler has infuriated Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan after she posted their contact details on her MySpace page.


In a related story, I have been hanging out at a pay phone by the local 7-11 for hours on end this week making calls. Many, many calls.

When not sparring with the bloated toad known as Karl Rove, singer Sheryl Crow also made a case for using only one square of toilet paper when you go to the bathroom to help save the planet.


I think we all would like to help the Planet here and there, but when it comes to the Earth or wiping my own ass, it's really not much of a decision at all. Recycling my newspapers is an entirely different matter.

Hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons said Monday that the recording and broadcast industries should consistently ban three racial and sexist epithets from all so-called clean versions of rap songs and the airwaves.

Expressing concern about the "growing public outrage" over the use of such words in rap lyrics, Simmons said the words "b**ch," "h*" and "n**ger" should be considered "extreme curse words."


We'll see if this gains any traction as I foresee many problems, but in response, the Country Music Association is looking into banning any song with words like "cheating," "trains" or "getting drunk" in them which will leave tons of dead airtime to fill.

Rosie O'Donnell will leave "The View" TV show when her contract expires in June, ABC announced Wednesday.


I guess Rosie told ABC execs that they could "have a nice View of her giant behind" as she walked out the door after the sides couldn't come to terms on a new contract.

In the midst of serving a 35-day jail sentence in Florida on contempt -of-court charges and fresh off a federal indictment on multiple counts of bribery and tax evasion, Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild mastermind, just got himself another legal headache as prosecutors charged him with misdemeanor sexual battery.

According to his 18-year-old female accuser, Francis approached her at the swanky party and touched her breasts, buttocks and inner thighs, despite her repeated protests for him to stop.


The two things that surprise me about this include: 1) What was Francis doing at a swanky party in the first place 2) The girl was actually 18.

Hugh Grant has been arrested for allegedly throwing a container of baked beans at a photographer, London police said.

The Metropolitan Police don't identify suspects who haven't been charged, but said a 46-year-old man was arrested Wednesday night on suspicion of assault and released on bail. No charges have been filed, police said.


The photographer said Grant became very angry after being snapped eating a giant bowl full of beans, and after hurling the fiber-dense side dish, Grant pushed him roughly to the ground and pinned his arms while blowing farts onto his cheat for half an hour prior to the police showing up.

As ugly as that image is, let's end with a better one:


Since it's the end of week, get everything off your chest and let nothing weigh you down and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS