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Too Damn Expensive . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, April 10, 2007

It sucks when you decide you want something, and then find out that the cost doesn't remotely match the price you formulated in your head. The size, cost and products can vary widely, but I seem to be running into this nasty mix lately in regards to:

1) A coffee/espresso maker

A decent one of these will set you back at least $750, and can easily run to $1,500 or more. For that kind of money, there should be a flat-screen TV attached to it.

2) Rugs

I have scorred (sp?) concrete floors downstairs in my loft and have been told by many people that a rug would "lighten up" the room. So I recently looked online and for a rug of any size whatsoever you're talking several hundred dollars on the cheap, and it can easily reach several thousands.

This seems like a racket to me, and if I'm going to shell out $3,500 for a rug then there should be a good-looking woman lying on top of it. I can't see this being legally or morally feasible, but . . .

3) Pornography

$50 or more for a single adult DVD is highway robbery. But this is what you will pay at stores around Austin for a product with a shelf life of 3 complete viewings before it becomes irrelevant. You can find better deals online, but sometimes you just can't plan ahead for these type of emergencies.

4) Mark Nason boots

These bastards have been eyeing me from the pages of Playboy and Vanity Fair for months, but when I saw a pair at Nordstroms those shoe-store hyenas wanted close to $400 for them. I might pay that if I got to plant my boot firmly into someone's ass. Maybe.

5) Red Stripe

I've been craving these since I got back from Virgin Gorda, but they have no business being $10 for a 6-pack just because they were featured in "The Firm", come from Jamaica and house their beer in squatty bottles.

I'm sure this is the tip of the iceberg for over-priced wants, and that none of the above items are necessary to get by in life, a realization that doesn't give me the least bit of comfort when I find myself drawn to them.



  1. JLee Says:
  2. I have a couple of suggestions...
    I bought a cheap-ass Hamilton Beach espresso machine for about $60 and it works just fine! Don't believe the hype.

    Also, I bought a very good quality contemporary rug from this website ( Not cheap, but affordable with some very cool styles.

    Porn? Just put the $50 toward a camera and make your own.

    You're on your own for the shoes and beer. With all the money you saved on the other stuff, splurge! haha

  3. Anonymous Says:
  4. I'd like to have a boot that nice up my ass. Haute couture has a special place close and dear to me.

  5. Jlee - These are good suggestions one and all, and I appreciate it as it's good for the soul to fulfill your wants from time to time. And doing so a little bit cheaply is even better.

    Anonymous - It would be very near and dear to you in that case, and if there is a general consensus about this, I might have to pick up the boots after all. Ha.

  6. Anonymous Says:
  7. You can get 5 rugs for $5 according to Graham (did you see McCain and him strolling through the Baghdad marketplace)

  8. I read about that city stroll, but must have missed the part about the rugs. That's a great deal, but the chances of getting blown up are quite high, which in the end, makes it a bad trade-off. I'll pay the extra I suppose.

  9. Linda Says:
  10. Yeah, I crab about the price of groceries and gas, but I'll buy $10 movie tickets without a blink! Ahhhh priorities.

  11. Grace Says:
  12. My dog has always had an obsession with marking, and he completely ruined my parents' silk rug. I checked online to see how much it would cost for me to replace it... $900.

    I've been saving up for two years now. Hehe, did I mention that in my attempt to clean the rug, I managed to permanently stain the hardwood floor underneath it? My dog's lucky I love him...

  13. Greg Says:
  14. Ugh. $60 espresso machine quality. How about this: you give me the $60, and I'll throw an old appliance into the landfill and we call it even, OK?

  15. Espresso machines - they only last 3 years before they start to break down. Get a cheap one and the espresso tastes like shit. Trust me.
    Squatty bottles - I thought they were called stubby bottles.
    Porno - Well, Pirates was the most expensive porno ever made so it goes without saying that the HD-DVD would sell for quite a bit.
    Rugs - when you get home, just take off your shirt and throw it on the floor and leave it there. After a couple of weeks, poof, you've got an interesting new floor design.

  16. Linda - Priorities indeed. That's one reason why I usually go to matinees - less people and I don't feel as bad when the movie is utter crap.

    Grace - Ouch. It is a good thing about your dog because I know hardwood floors are expensive as I just finished re-doing most of my second floor with bamboo. Luckily, I have no dogs.

    Greg - Ha. That was my fear with the cheaper models, and I wish there was something like a $300 espresso machine that was pretty damn good. I might be able to handle that.

    WhatIgot - I heard the machines break down before 3 years which is another issue, I forgot that it should be stubby bottles according to the commercials and your right about the rug but that bastard would start to smell pretty ripe in a hurry.

  17. tkkerouac Says:
  18. Those look like ass kicking boots!

  19. locomocos Says:
  20. my b-friend calls that espresso maker 'The Replicator' from Star Trek (i know - nerd alert). It should be able to make gold for that money.

    I was all into Red Stripe for a while - but yes it was too expensive. So I realized what I really liked about it was the bottles.
    I started buying Olympia in mass quantites. they came in grenades too with fun picture puzzles to figure out when intoxicated. Until now. The cheap bastards. Now it's just crappy beer in a can. Boo.

  21. Miss Ash Says:
  22. I received an espresso maker as a gift about 10 years ago....i've not once ever used it. The bizzare thing is, i love espresso....this makes no sense.

    Love love love the boots and you must get them. When it comes to shoes or clothes, if I really want something, I just buy it...when it's sort of...errr not really within reason.

  23. Robert Says:
  24. Check here for the boots. Depending on your size, they may have them for as low as $243.

    Also, here's a slightly different style for $259.

  25. Robert Says:
  26. I guess these are closer to what's pictured ($260).


  27. tkkerouac - Don't they? You bet they do.

    Locomocos - I've never done the Olympia beer swill, but Pearl used to come with a fun puzzle on the cap and without it, it's just cheap beer that tastes like piss.

    Miss Ash - I don't understand your espresso situation at all. If you love it, make it, especially since you already have it. And I'll be thinking about the boots.

    Robert - Thanks for the links as I'll always take something when it comes with a discount. I need to actually verify my size in them at Nordstroms before I do anything. I didn't even try them on when they spit out the price the first time I was there.

  28. Melissa Says:
  29. Buy the boots. Seriously. Deep down you are a shoe bitch, deal with it, feed the addiction, move on. And then I'll tell you about the $800 Manolo boots I bought.

  30. Since you put it that way, my boots are nothing next to the Manolos. Trumped again.


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