2 Dollar Productions

"I can smell a lie like a fart in a car," - Christian Slater, "Pump Up The Volume"


The weather has been close to perfect in Austin this week, which makes office work that much more depressing, but the weekend is looming with more sunshine and plans to get outside and enjoy it, so let's knock these life-altering stories out of the way to get things started:

Sanjaya Malakar was finally voted off "American Idol" on Wednesday night, thus ending a long journey filled with more opinions on his hair than his actual singing, which was generally deemed to be mediocre at best.


Some people were angry that Sanjaya kept leaping past more qualified singers to remain in the competition, but since when was competence a prerequisite for getting places in life as it hasn't stunted the career growth of Joe Rogan or Paris Hilton.

Reports say three lawyers filed complaints in Indian courts against Gere and Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty for kissing at a public function recently, where Gere was helping raise money for AIDS in between his attacks on Shetty.

The complaints came after angry crowds in several Indian cities burned effigies of Gere.


I felt the same way after watching Gere in "First Knight" and "King David," but it just seemed like too much effort to make an effigy and then burn it.

Lindsay Lohan said recently that she enjoyed her time in rehab, but doesn't consider herself an addict.

Her room was "all white, with a parquet, and it was different! I just felt safe," she said. "I thought, `I'm going to stay here tonight.' And I stayed there. For a month. It was great."


Lohan later added that since her stint in rehab, the dark clubs with the pulsating music and the constant partying until 3 am feel "dangerous" and "confusing" yet she's also staying inside them for awhile too.

Edward Norton has been cast as Bruce Banner in the forthcoming The Incredible Hulk, according to reports.


Norton is one of my favorite actors, and I only hope they're paying him lots of money as green as the body paint he willl wear when the Hulk transforms into someone you "wouldn't like when he's angry."

In a slap in the face to girls in my kindergarten class, Angelina Jolie said this:

"I was very sexual in kindergarten. I was a member of a group called the Kissy Girls. I created a game where I'd kiss the boys and give them all cooties. Then we'd make out and we'd take our clothes off. I got in trouble a lot." - Angelina Jolie tells the new issue of OK! U.K.


If getting in trouble with Jolie is wrong then I don't want to be right.

Last month The National Enquirer reported that singer/actress Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were involved in a heroin scandal and now they are suing the tabloid.

The article said Lopez and Anthony were "caught up in a heroin scandal" and featured a picture of Anthony standing next to Michael Star, a photographer facing child pornography and heroin possession charges in the USA.


Lopez was heard commenting that she might "still be Jenny from the Block, but that block does not include heroin being sold in the streets and although my husband is gaunt with the questionable hygiene of some addicts, we both hate heroin like the plague."

A summer cruise for gay and lesbian families organized by Rosie O'Donnell has cut Bermuda from its planned itinerary because of possible protests by church groups in the British island territory.


I can't say I would line up for that protest, but I damn sure would sign a petition requesting that O'Donnell "Just Says No" to any two-piece bathin suits while onboard the ship or strolling through any ports of call.

In a related story, the New York Post reported that Donald Trump sent Barbara Walters a black "girdle-like outfit" that his nemesis Rosie O'Donnell wore in the film "Exit to Eden."

"I sent it to Barbara to hang in her office because I didn't want it in mine. It was funny, except that it was really gross. It's disgusting," Trump told the New York Post. "I feel sorry for (Rosie's) wife. It can't be pleasant."


Trump really needs to find a new hobby because this obsession with O'Donnell is getting flat-out ridiculous and sad.

In a re-affirmation that true love does exist, Marilyn Manson told a French newspaper that he has found his double in new girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood.

Manson said "She's 19 and certainly that's very young, but that's not a problem for me. She likes the same things as me. She understands I like to get up when night falls and go to sleep at dawn."


What 19-year-old doesn't like to stay up all night long?

Since we're celebrating night owls and nocturnal activities, let's end with an image that could lead to late nights:


So whether you sleep all night or live by the mantra that I'll sleep when I'm dead, indulge yourself and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS