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Is It Really Cheating If . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, April 17, 2007

{This is the tenth in a recurring series which will explore the brutally complex concept of monogomy in increasingly outlandish scenarios. We hope these will be illuminating what-if scenarios, and that they will cultivate some intense philosophical discussions around what, if anything, really constitutes cheating.}

Is It Really Cheating If:

Your washer and dryer are busted, so you decide to visit a local fluff-and-fold emporium close to your loft.



It's late and somewhere in the middle of your last spin cycle, the door opens and in walks an attractive brunette with a sack full of dirty clothes. You admire the way she separates her light and dark colors. Her ass looks like two red delicious apples riding inside a denim hammock, but you barely register that because you have a wife/fiancé/girlfriend at home.

With ten minutes left in your cycle, you catch her looking at you and then she comes over.

"Get up on the washer" she says, and you oblige with your feet dangling off the front. The cycle starts to whirl, pound and thump as she casually climbs astride you from front and proceeds to ride you, denim on denim, front to back, over and over again for the remaining 9 minutes until the you finish off at precisely the same time as the cycle ends.

She never says a word, but now you have another load to wash because your jeans have been soiled.

So, since there was no skin-on-skin contact, and you wash away any lingering evidence of the event, is it really cheating?

-BDS

17 comments

  1. Friggin' hell man. I gotta start using a laundromat.
    And no, it's not cheating. It was basically just a lap dance. Going to a strip club and getting a lap dance isn't cheating, therefore this is not cheating.

     
  2. Anonymous Says:
  3. Naw, it's not cheating! It's just good, clean fluffin'

     
  4. Wendy Says:
  5. "Outlandish scenarios." Dude, I am seriously wondering if any of this has really happened to you. I'm also wondering if your wife/fiance/girlfriend is wondering.

     
  6. Miss Ash Says:
  7. Crap you got me on this one. It's not cheaing, WIGSF is right, it's more of a denim lap dance.

    Does Mrs. BDS read this blog?

     
  8. nobich Says:
  9. Well... if your wife, girlfriend, fiance' or whatever walked in on this adventure what kind of look would be on your face?? (once you saw them I mean?) would you be cringing? or laughing & smiling saying hey honey come here & meet so & so the new fluff girl? Ya gotta try this!! I know I know the voice of doom arrrgh!!

     
  10. WhatIGot - A good parallel, and I was thinking along the same lines when I imagined it.

    Anonymous - It feels good to be clean, eh? Yes it does. Ha.

    Wendy - You are a fiction writer, so you should understand an imagination. Ha. Let's hope the latter question is a firm no.

    Miss Ash - I knew it. Ha. This kind of thing could happen in Vegas I would think - or some derivative of it. And yes, this blog is read by Mrs. BDS as a source of amusement.

    Nobich - THe voice of doom indeed. I think my excuse if she walked in would be "Next time you can do the laundry." Ha.

     
  11. JLee Says:
  12. Interesting scenario, but I do believe it's an "outlandish scenario" considering I've never actually seen an attractive person in a laundromat.

     
  13. nobich Says:
  14. would you be saying that from the couch??? (where you would most likely be sleeping from now on????)
    ha!!

     
  15. Jlee - Very true, it's mostly winos and such, but you have to hold out hope Jlee. Ha.

    Nobich - Ha. Actually, it would probably be said while running away from her and so I would have to yell to make myself heard properly.

     
  16. tkkerouac Says:
  17. not cheating, just a little fantasy.

     
  18. Oh lord!!!! I shudder to think about the the jean clad mullet men in this town!

     
  19. SymplyAmused Says:
  20. Hmmm, not cheating but still not good. Maybe have the wife/girlfried/fiance act like the stranger? : ) Gotta love your imagination though..Kudos for that one!!!

     
  21. tkkerouac - Good. Another vote for no.

    Girlbehind - Mullets would not be conducvie to this or any other scenario. You should start cutting them off every time you see one.

    Symplyamused - Thanks. It's getting harder and harder to come up with them, but I want to end with a dozen of them.

     
  22. Kayla Says:
  23. Hate to be the voice of gloom...haha A sexual experience was had with another live individual.
    You physically used each other's bodies to climax.
    Would enjoy this experience in my fantasy life, but would throw out Mr. Kayla if he had participated!

    Now please stop throwing the rotten tomatoes!
    ;-)

     
  24. Dammit Kayla, you come back from vacation with this? Ha. Shouldn't you be a better, more lenient mood.

     
  25. Kayla Says:
  26. Haha..
    Rest assured this little scenario will be put to good use very soon
    ;-)

     
  27. At least some good will come out of it then. Still pondering the tomatoes . . .

     

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