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Would You Rather . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, June 26, 2006

It was somewhere after my brother and I finished our second pitcher of Paulner Hefe Weizen that we got onto the topic of sex.

More specifically, we started to play the Would You Rather celebrity sex game where one of us would call out a name and within 10 seconds you had to say whether or not your would sleep with them or take the alternative measure.

10 seconds is not a long time and it's interesting and often shocking just who you will agree to share a night of unbridled passion with once you've consumed some alcohol.

This game was not intended for the Charlize Therons or the Halle Berrys of the world.

That would be too easy and the contest would be over before it ever really began.

It's a game of creativity and one-upmanship (sp?) and danger and the only given is that you will surprise yourself at some point in the process.

It's also juvenile and vaguely mean-spirited, but then again so is Pictionary and besides we already solved the Israel-Palenstian crisis earlier in the night.

So, here's a partial list from that night of situations that required a gut reaction yes or no answer.

1) Dolly Parton or pay $1,000?

No question as I think Dolly looks great for however old she is and so I picked her.

2) Pink or a horrible poison ivy rash?

I'd rather have a pink rash all over me than for me to be all over Pink as I took the poison ivy.

3) Brigette Nielsen or cleaning the public bathroom at a bus station?

I took Nielsen as I compare it to scaling Mt. Everest as she's a gigantic woman in every way possible and I hate cleaning my own bathroom, so . . .

4) Chyna or running a marathon?

I'd run to China before I'd sleep with Chyna.

5) Pre-cosmetic surgery Ashlee Simpson or 5 licks with a meat whip?

I'd take the whip, and I'm not a masochist. I just fear that Joe Simpson might be the devil and he seems to be a package deal with either of his daughters.

Scoff at these answers, but I would be very interested to hear any other new situations and the more controversial the better as this is intended to be a one night stand with dim lights and animal passions.

The game might not hold the social relevance of "Candyland" or "Uno," but it beats the hell out of talking about office politics.

-BDS

15 comments

  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. Jack Black or licking a weight bench at a busy 24 hour fitness? Yikes. I am a germaphobe. And I am a fan of Jack Black- the question is, how far will a sense of humor take you? It may be interesting- Jack Black.

     
  3. I like Jack Black, but I'm coming from a different perspective.

    My guess is that Black would win by a 65 - 35 split vote.

     
  4. Dreamlover Says:
  5. I bet you would do Ashlee, no matter what papa Joe had to say, lol

     
  6. Jenni222 - I saw "White Chicks" on a plane ride, but don't remember the scene. Maybe I'll have to rent it as it was funnier than it had any right to be.

    Dreamlover - I might choose Ashlee since her cosmetic surgery as she seems to be morphing into Jessica or maybe Sarah Michelle Gellar.

     
  7. Miss Ash Says:
  8. Sex with Rita McNeil or getting ejaculated on by a hippopotomus?

     
  9. I like the way you think.

    I also didn't know who Rita Mcneil was, but then I found www.ritamcneil.com and I would choose the hippo - if I could wear goggles.

    Hippos seem slow and lazy and amiable but I bet they store a lot of spunk.

     
  10. julia Says:
  11. i imagine there's more than one person out there who would pay $1000 in order to sleep with ms. parton.

    sex with jack johnson while listening to his music (or john mayer - aren't they one and the same? sorry, jack) or bathe (don't forget between the fat rolls!) and dress a sumo wrestler?

    i think jack's sexy enough i could tune out his crooning...

     
  12. Anonymous Says:
  13. That's a hell of an interesting game. Never played it before- but I might start. Need some pictures though... Somehow we always play we the live bodies that we see around us. And I'm tired of it that way.

     
  14. I'd do Oprah for some cash.

     
  15. JV - I also think Ms. Parton is awfully hot especially when you consider that she's 60-something years old!

    Julia - My feeling is that Jack or John would win this battle as most women would be more interesting in sleeping with them and could tune out the horrendous sounds. Actually, Johnson is mellow and inoffensive enough (some of they lyrics are awful) but Mayer's "Daughters" song makes me want to vomit.

    Devil - This game is more theorectical (sp?) in nature & therefore it can go on forever and ever.

    Stiltwalker - That's not too hard a proposition. A better one might be be Oprah or drink two pitchers of rotten milk mixed with everclear.

     
  16. It is a great game and you don't even have to have a few beers under your belt to play. Sad as we are, we've played it with historical figures - Lizzie Borden or ironing all your shirts in the middle of Death Valley in July. It's all about who you trust.

     
  17. Brigitte Nielsen or a scary clown?

    Wait a minute... same thing.

     
  18. Jenni222 - I would still take Carmen Electra as there's always penicillin.

    Sarcastic - Interesting twist on the game, but I think I'd take Lizzie Borden. Maybe.

    Wendy - There's no winners in this game, but I'd still take Nielsen as I just think if you survived the encounter it would be something to remember. Or maybe forget.

     
  19. Grace Says:
  20. Britney Spears (after having her first child, and being pregnant with her second) or eating three live cockroaches? What do you say to that one?

     
  21. If she's not chewing her gum like a deranged cow then I'll take Spears for reasons I'm not entirely sure about.

     

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