The next month of my life is going to be pure hell as I started a brutal diet and exercise program that is designed to peak on June 9th or 10th when I meet with a New York modeling agent.
This whole saga has ongoing for almost a year, and stemmed from a photo shoot that I did for a fitness coffee-table book, which is still being shopped to publishers the last time I checked.
If the book ever does get published, my feeling is that it will appeal to a very specialized buying segment of the population - namely gay bath-house owners scattered throughout the United States.
But one good thing resulted from the shoot as these pictures found their way to a New York agent: 
I met with the agent last summer when he came to Dallas to speak at a modeling convention (which is one of the silliest conventions one could attend), and he told me that he saw a money-making opportunity for both of us if I gained 10 pounds. So, I spent the past several months stuffing myself and working out amongst the screenplay writing and actual job-related work.
The agent returns to Dallas on June 9th, and if he likes what he sees, he wants to bring me to New York for a week to live in a house for models and go to photo shoots and open calls and take acting lessons and in my imagination generally behave like some crazy outtake from "Zoolander."
I actually hope there's more to it than that as I see the project as a total grab for easy money as well as connections to the film industry. We'll see.
In the meantime, I'm facing a 4 week program to shed body fat and a diet that must suddenly cease to include alcohol, milk, sugar, Gatorade, most carbs and generally anything that tastes good.
My diet now looks like this:
Meal 1 - Protein Shake
Meal 2 - 6 egg whites, 1 whole egg and 1/2 cup of oatmeal
Meal 3 - Protein Shake, handfull of unsalted almonds
Meal 4 - 6 oz. chicken or turkey, 1/2 cup rice
Meal 5 - Protein Shake, handfull of unsalted almonds
Meal 6 - 6 0z. Chicken or turkey, 1/2 cup rice, green beans
Meal 7 - 6 egg whites, handfull of unsalted almonds
That regime is enough to make nearly anyone weep like a little child who skinned their knee, but I will remain strong in the face of nutritional adversity.
All I do know, however, is that the orgies better be worth the pain if this actually works out.
-BDS
The diet sounds horrible.LoL. But post if it works.
It better work because I'm already walking around in a foul mood and feel like running people down in my car for some strange reason.
This must be how Russell Crowe feels most of the time.
you're a stud :)
I'd say.good luck!
Thanks for the encouragement and I'll take all the good luck I can get because it's a rainy Sunday afternoon and I just finished eating some dry chicken and brown rice, which is roughly as fun as watching back-to-back episodes of "According to Jim" or "Freddie."
The horror.
Good Luck! I hate dieting! I know this is overused, but there is a reason diet starts out die. You better hope the model house is not full of people who frequent said bath houses.
cutting out carbs makes one grumpy, or so i've heard from my roommate who went on atkins to lose weight for prom.
i will be feeling your pain after i'm done rowing and try to drop some weight (muscle and fat) that i don't need anymore. "diet starts tomorrow"
good luck!
This is why I like to wear '50s circle skirts. They hide a multitude of sins.
Then again, you aren't a goofy middle-aged female writer.
Obviously.
I wish you much good luck. I hope modeling agents are more reliable than literary agents.
Informant - You're 100 percent correct on the diet food and it's nice to have options because dieting as a career would be awful.
Sarcastic - That bath/model house problem has already occurred to me, but I'm pushing it out of my mind for now and figure I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Julia - Rowing is great exercise and yes my mood is getting noticably worse after only 8 days of this crap.
Wendy - I somehow doubt that modeling agents are much higher than literary agents on the rung of decency, and it's been years since I've worn a circle skirt - I still don't like to talk about it, but I really wanted to get in the fraternity.