"And boy-oh-boy, are we gonna have big fun today. We're gonna have so much fun, we'll forget about how miserable we are, and how much life sucks, and how we're all gonna grow old and die someday." Weird Al Yankovic, "UHF" 
On a more positive note, the weather is holding steady with sun and near perfect temperatures in Austin this week, however, my body is flagging as it take immense willpower to say no to patio bars. But there's no need to wallow in excess when there are truly important stories to deal with such as:
It was reported that Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are hooking up after the pair were spotted this week at Manhattan hot spot the Rose Bar .
A witness told the New York Post that: "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m." 
Although some find this coupling to be semi-bizarre and nasty, I think it makes sense as Olsen is nearly as flat and skinny as the bicycles which Armstrong rode successfully for so many years. It's like going home again for Lance.
A selfish Britney Spears barely talks to or plays with her two baby boys - and treats them like fashion accessories, a child care expert reported in court this week.
"The environment at the house ranged from chaotic to almost somber with little communication at all," parenting coach Lisa Hacker writes in a scathing evaluation that a judge cited in denying the singer's demand she get back shared custody. Judge Scott Gordon has ordered the kids to remain with their father, rapper Kevin Federline, granting Spears only two seven-hour visits a week and one overnight stay.
This is the worst parenting news I've heard about Spears to date because if she is using the kids as "fashion accessories" then they could be warped for life based upon some of Britney's recent stylings.
TV bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman apologized Wednesday for using the N-word repeatedly in a profanity-laced tirade during a private phone conversation with his son that was recorded and posted online. In the conversation, Chapman urges his son to break up with his girlfriend. He also expresses concern about the girlfriend going public about the TV star's use of the N-word.
"I'm not going to take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for 30 years because some (expletive) n--- heard us say 'n---' and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine."
It was definitely poor judgment, however, what can you expect from an adult who goes by the name of "Dog?"
Arnold Schwarzenegger told GQ magazine that he had not taken drugs, even though he has acknowledged using marijuana in the 1970s and was shown smoking a joint in the 1977 documentary "Pumping Iron."
"That is not a drug. It's a leaf. My drug was pumping iron, trust me," the Independent quoted him, as saying.
It must be nice to be the Governor of California because that line of reasoning never won me any points with law officials where dope was concerned.
William Shatner was angry this week after it was announced that he would not be invited back to play Captain Kirk in the new "Start Trek" movie.
''I couldn't believe it. I'm not in the movie at all," Shatner reportedly said on Thursday. "I thought, what a decision to make, since it obviously is a decision not to make use of the popularity I have to ensure the movie has good box office. It didn't seem to be a wise business decision.''
If Shatner ensured good box office, then I can't quite fathom why the last movie I remember him in was "Loaded Weapon," and that was far from a masterpiece.
Police in Los Angeles are investigating actor Pierce Brosnan for the alleged battery of a photographer after the former James Bond star was with his kids in a Malibu mall outside a restaurant when lensman Barry Rosen began taking pictures of him.
Pierce responded by saying, "Why don't you get a real f---ing job," according to Rosen. Rosen then began complimenting Brosnan on his performance in his James Bond roles, which seemed to strike a raw chord with the actor, who proceeded to shout, "Why don't you f--k off, mate?" and punch Rosen in the ribs, according to Rosen.
Bystanders who witnessed the incident said Rosen reacted by kicking Brosnan in the stomach.
One can only guess what might have occurred if Rosen had given Brosnan constructive criticism on "Dante's Peak."
As always, let's forget the negative, accentuate the postive and end with a gold image like this: 
I fully appreciate suiting up in proper attire for any athletic endeavor, and this team is one I would like to play. Sometimes, two hand-touch can become challenging, so remember to firmly tackle the opposition, play hard and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Life is like a mop. Sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and hairballs and things and you gotta clean it out. You gotta stick it in here and rinse it off and start all over again. And sometimes life sticks to the floor so much that a mop, a mop, it's not good enough. You gotta get down there with like a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off. But if that doesn't work, you can't give up. You gotta stand right up. You gotta run to a window and say, "These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more."
Words to live by.
As for Pierce Brosnon, is he currently filming a movie about the life of Captain Morgan. He looks like an aged version of the guy on the bottle of rum.
I almost used that Stanly Spidowski (sp?) quote instead. It was a toss-up.
As for Brosnan, he does look like the Captain or a Billygoat or both.
Damn. Is Weird AL "Yank-a-Dick" still around ?
I really hate that about The Dawg. He's always been such an upstanding pillar of modern society.
As far as the new Star Trek movie, Hey - Bill's getting old, and needs to realize that. You really can't Kirk it forever. He really shouldn't give a Shat.
If I ever say the words "you know, I think I'm beginning to understand the appeal of the Olsen twins", please set me on fire.
Heff - Shatner should just relax and count his money as I'm sure he's doing OK. At some point, you've got to hang some things up. And I just read the Dawg has been suspened by A&E - big surprise.
Idig - Will do. Their appeal is completely lost on me.
The Dog is a true Dog, what did people think? That's he's Mother-F'ing-Theresa? The saddest thing is his own son sold him out.
As for Pierce Brosnon - ah, Gentlemen? He's still hot. :-)
Happy Friday 2$, have a great weekend.
Kids AREN'T fashion accessories? NOW you tell me! Gagh. I was hoping all that money I spent on food, clothing, shelter and college tuition was going to make me look cute.
Sorry, "Say no to patio bars?" What is wrong with you?
Also, just when you think the train wreck is smoldering in a ditch and there are no survivors, it's Halloween and the train wreck dresses up like a crack stripper. Yeesh.
I don't even know where to begin.....though the partnering of Lance and Olsen is extremely bizzare.
Have a great weekend!!! Enjoy the patio bars...come on!!
Anonymous Boxer - Yeah, I just saw that about Dog's son, and that must be one screwed up family (and that's a low blow in my book). Happy Friday back at you, and I like Brosnan as he still looks pretty cool (but also like a goat w/ that facial hair).
Wendy - You would think so after footing a bill that large, eh? Unfortunately, the court seems to see things differently.
Kismetic - I'm merely trying to say that drinking outside has to be somewhat limited or else your body will rebel at some point from such a taxing stretch of time. At least that's the theory. As for Spears, I'm not surprised by the depths she continues to sink because she appears to be a total lunatic and only half-human.
Miss Ash - Missed you in Cyberspace. Anyway, I'm not forsaking the bars (I was out the past two evenings at differt ones), and that pairing is strange and twisted in my book.
Never pass a patio bar- what ARE you thinking??
Happy Friday!
I couldn't understand the Lance/Olsen twin thing either, but the whole bicycle connection ties it all together! Thanks for that.
My child was a great fashion accessory until she crossed triple digit weight. Damn them for getting older..Happy Friday.
Nobich - Happy Friday yourself, and I should have been clearer about the patio bars. Ha. I've been to several this week alone, but they're killing me.
Jlee - Damn them for getting older and larger, eh? Ha. But my bicycle theory on the Armstrong/Olsen is only conjecture and should NOT be taken as fact. You've been warned.
ewwfuckinewww....just even the image of lance and little 'michelle' from Full House. all kinds of wrong if you ask me. and I doubt that marijuana was the only drug ahhnold took in his weight lifting days.
and Britney...yikes, that girl needs to get the Bob Barker treatment and get spayed and neutered.
Did you ever notice how much the Olson twins look like the Gelflings from the movie, "The Dark Crystal"?
Er, would be interested to know what sport that team plays? Yes, I know that you play pocket billiards when viewing them but what are they, ping pong players???? or do they have advanced ping pong skills and can ping them across the room using only their pussy muscles?
Poor Bill! I think he was hurt. But check out Uhura and Sulu on Heroes! SOME people know how to move on.
Vivavavoom - Ha. Agreed on all counts, and I like the fact that Arnold was smoking dope on film during his bodybuilding days. He was a funny guy around that time.
Robert - You're right as I didn't even have to look at the link because when you mentioned Gelflings, I knew exactly the visual you were after. Ha. Funny connection for sure.
Emmak - Good question. That looks like a soccer or football stadium to me, and I wanted to assume football so some tackling could be involved. Ha. As for ping pong, that would be a useful skill in many areas and one can only dream, eh?
Getoffmylawn - I think it was his rivalry w/ Lenard Nimoy which pushed him over the edge as Nimoy is in the film. It can be tough I suppose.
TrinabeingTrina - He claims he was joking about the statment. I doubt it. Ha.