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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, November 16, 2007

"But, the real excitement of course is going to come at the end of the summer, during Sexual Awareness week. We import two hundred hookers from around the world, and each camper, armed with only a thermos of coffee and two thousand dollars cash, tries to visit as many countries as he can. The winner of course is named King of Sexual Awareness week and is allowed to rape and pillage the neighboring towns until camp ends." - Bill Murray, "Meatballs"

It was 88 degrees this week in Austin, which is semi-ridiculous considering it's mid-November, but things could be worse. It seemed like a slow week for Hollywood shenanigans, but there is always a few stories to deal with such as:

Paris Hilton was praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India this week as the heiress attempted to raise awareness of the plight of the pachyderms that get drunk on farmers' homemade rice beer and then go on a rampage.

"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," Hilton said in a report posted on World Entertainment News Network's Web site.

Hilton later clarified that she wasn't referring to Britney Spears when she mentioned the dangers of drinking coupled with excessive girth.

"Heroes" star Hayden Panettiere revealed that she has a warrant out for her in Japan after she recently paddled out to the middle of the ocean with some activist friends to try and prevent local fishermen from slaughtering a group of dolphins.

“I learned that they have an arrest warrant out for me in Japan,” Hayden Panettiere told E! News Wednesday. “We just found out.”

Panettiere is not as heroic when it comes to rescuing 30-year-old men in bathtubs when pictures are sent. Trust me.

Boy George was charged Tuesday with falsely imprisoning a 28-year-old man, British police said as the singer and DJ, whose real name is George O'Dowd, has been ordered to appear before a court on Nov. 22.

The Sun newspaper reported in April that a Norwegian man, Auden Karlsen, claimed he was chained and threatened at O'Dowd's London flat, where he had gone as a photo model.

Karlsen reported feeling traumatized as he was chained up and forced to listen to Karma Chamelon on an endless repeat while George screamed "The Boy becomes a Man tonight."

A possible class-action lawsuit filed Tuesday against the Miley Cyrus Fan Club alleges that the lure of club membership in exchange for a better shot at concert tickets is entirely bogus.

According to court documents filed on behalf of New Jersey resident Kerry Inman in U.S. District Court in Nashville, Interactive Media Marketing Inc. and Smiley Miley Inc. couldn't back up the promise of easier concert access in exchange for an annual $29.95 membership fee.

"They deceptively lured thousands of individuals into purchasing memberships, based on the understanding that by joining, they would be able to purchase tickets before they were offered for sale to the general public, and that's why we're suing," Inman's attorney, Rob Peirce, said in a statement.

I am not partaking in the lawsuit as I simply joined the fan club because I love the music. The poetic verses and all-powerful vocal talent of Hannah Montana is easily worth $30.

Michael Jackson is at risk of losing his Neverland Ranch if he does not pay at least $212,963 on his delinquent $23,212,963 loan he took out in 2006 amid mounting debts.

The Ranch could go up for auction if a foreclosure ensues.

Prospective buyers inquiring about the presence of chimpanzees and small children on the property have been officially told "no comment" for now.

Matt Damon has been named the "sexiest man alive" by People magazine, an honor that has been bestowed twice on his pals George Clooney and Brad Pitt and caught Damon by surprise.

"You gave an aging suburban dad the ego boost of a lifetime," he says in a letter published in the magazine. "My 9-year-old stepdaughter now thinks I'm cool — well, cooler."

After the announcement of the award, Carrot Top sent an angry letter to his publicist while quietly weeping.

Since we're finishing on a high note, let's continue that trend with a gold image like this:

I'm all for group nudity, and whatever ensues after shedding your clothes. So, feel free to be uninhibited today, shed your outer layer and . . . Happy Friday!



  1. There are not enough naked ladies in that picture to rid my memory of that photo of the Top in a muscle shirt.

  2. JLee Says:
  3. ..yeah, I think one cancels the other out! ha

    You missed a local store's "Hannah Montana Makeover" You could pull off that look. Happy Friday!

  4. Heff Says:
  5. I actually give "the Top" his props (no pun intended). At least he's TRYING to look better, although failing.

  6. idobcool Says:
  7. Paris should only receive praise when she's quiet and out of sight.

    The nudes are nice but why is the girl, bottom center, wearing a giant scuba flipper?

  8. Heff Says:
  9. Damn ! Idobe's right ! That's one hell of a foot !

  10. WhatIgot - It's a fierce battle indeed, although it's hard to beat the Top - in all things.

    Jlee - I accept your compliment, however, I don't think I could have taken the prize. Ha. If I could have won, I would have sold those things on Ebay as they are getting thousands for tickets. Crazy. Happy Friday.

    Heff - The guy has some guns, but he looks like he's on juice to me. And just scary in general.

    Idobcool - Good eyes. That is bizarre and terrifying canoes she's sporting. And I agree 100 percent on Paris.

    Heff - Ridiculous. Then again, you know what they say about big feet . ..

  11. looks like someone poured a scoop of tar over georgie's head.

  12. Miss Ash Says:
  13. I'm sure Hanna Montana fans could purchase tickets on the same day of the concert and get front row seats!! What are they complaining about...

  14. nobich Says:
  15. It's warm here in Jersey too. Not as warm as Texas but... 60 degrees in November. That global warming woohoo!
    Happy Friday!!

  16. Idig - Yep. And I bet he did far worse to the guy he tied up as dumping hot tar was likely the least of his worries. Ha.

    Miss Ash - You'd be surprsised as you can't get those tickets anywhere. People are going nuts and filing lawsuits because scalpers buy them all up and she's selling out stadiums. Crazy business.

    Nobich - Global warming indeed. That's bizarre for NJ I bet. Anyway, enjoy a little sunshine & Happy Friday.

  17. Linda Says:
  18. Group nudity makes me think of the photographer Spencer Tunick. Check out the documentary Naked States. The film is about his project to shoot group nudes in all 50 states. I think he claims the largest group nude photo EVER. He's come to NIFF a few times, you should see his business cards! You know I'm always good for a film reference .... Happy Friday!

  19. vivavavoom Says:
  20. hee hee...maybe slow but still a funny week forgot the fact that brit failed her drug test and now says she is on adderall for ADHD that is why amphetamines tested positive...yeah...whatever.
    Thank god for celebrities like Paris Hilton. forget the starving children, there are drunk elephants that need some serious attention.
    don't really get the appeal of Hayden Pana.....but my guess is the cheerleading outfit helped elevate her sexual status quite a bit. Matt Damon?? they must be slumming now. he's fine for a frat boy, but sexy doesn't really come to mind. Now Carrot Top....he is just flat out steroidal sexy....ewwwfuckinewww!!! Him and Michael Jackson are looking awfully alike in the face.

  21. BostonPobble Says:
  22. If Matt Damon can be considered the sexiest man alive, the Drunken Viking SERIOUSLY needs to send in his photo. Seriously.

  23. Linda - Ha. Yes, those would be business cards I would pay attention to. And I always like movie references, especially ones I have never heard of like this one.

    Vivavavoom - I know about Spears, but I hardly keep it straight which week she did what during as it's like one constant train wreck. Ha. The outfit certainly helped Hayden, Carrot Top actually looks more human-like than Jackson (I think), and where's Lindsay Lohan when you need some bizarre behavior (sober I guess).

    Bostonpobble - Ha. Yes, I would love to be one of the "and 137 more hot guys inside" tagline. That would be a pretty sweet gig for the Viking.

  24. I have to doubt your research on that one. Carrot Top does nothing quietly. Brrrr. The thought of the noise he would make crying is enough to make want a nap.

  25. You're probably right as my "research" for Friday posts is sometimes suspect and consists of pure speculation. Let's keep that quiet, eh?


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