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Foolish Decisions While Smelling The Glove . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Sunday, November 11, 2007

On a whim, my brother and I decided to sign up for the YMCA adult basketball winter league which starts this coming Sunday.

We figured that it would be good exercise (I always prefer running to play a sport versus running for no particular reason except stamina), it would remind us of our high school playing days (not re-living glory mind you, unless your definition of "glory" is extremely skewed), and it would ward off the Sunday blues which can easily occur on the theoretical day of rest.

This is kind of colloborative thinking will likely lead straight to shame, but we'll know soon enough.

But regardless, this foray into team sports has already claimed one victim - me - as I jumped high and then landed on, ironically enough, my brother's shoe during practice today and rolled my ankle completely over.

Now, I'm hobbling around like Britney Spears at 3 a.m. on any given Tuesday.


I have a week to heal before our opening night, and although I have no idea about the level of competition, I have the Fear that there will be a number of teams taking this very seriously and playing by "prison rules" as Jim Carrey noted in "The Cable Guy" basketball scene.

This lead me to consider other movies with quality basketball scenes which include (in no particular order):

1) Teen Wolf - Quite simply the best werewolf basketball action ever committed to film

2) Soul Man - One of the funniest basketball scenes ever committed to film.
3) Hoosiers - Just a damn fine film.

I've also come to believe that talent isn't the determining factor in a basketball team's success - it's the name.

A good or inscrutable name will instantly cause the opponent to consider your motives when the schedule appears. Your skills rarely proceed you, however, other teams will know your name.

Our team name: Smell the Glove. If you can tell me where I stole that from during a long brainstorming session conducted at an outdoor patio last week, then I'll be impressed.

"Smell the Glove" marks yet another team that I have played on where the name was evocative, bizarre or both. Past efforts included:

1) Scent of a Crouton - Utter nonsense. It means nothing.

2) Gorilla Masks - Reference to a horrible and despicable sexual act.
3) Greased Weasels - Simply liked the sound of such a thing.

Each time those teams finished with winning records, so I have high hopes for our inaugural season with a squad of white collar workers, friends of friends and other miscreants.

That's probably the pain pills talking, and with that in mind, I'm going to bed to dream about healing and excessively limber librarians - maybe not in that order.



  1. vivavavoom Says:
  2. get some arnica now and put it all over. even take oral drops of it to prevent further bruising. Get some Traumeel!! (can you tell I just came back from a medical conference?) I just can't shut it off, sorry.

  3. Linda Says:
  4. *ding* Smell the Glove is from "This is Spinal Tap"! You guys are too funny! Hope your pain is diminished by the first tip off! Have fun ....

  5. Vivavavoom - Thanks for sharing the knowledge as I'm icing it right now, and taking Iboprofen (sp?). Now where do you get the other stuff?

    Linda - Ha. I should have known, especially given your past with Guest. Nice one, and once I came up with it, everyone liked it - regardless of whether they had seen the movie or not.

  6. kismetic Says:
  7. my favorite picture.

  8. If you are all jacked up already and it only happened at practice then I can't wait to see what's going to happen in a real game. Good luck!

    BTW..I don't know anything about where the name came from but it is hilarious

  9. 'Smell the Glove' is a great name, but is it really appropriate for a basketball team. The game requires no gloves. Now baseball, that would be a great name. But whatever, with a name like that, you can walk around with zucchinis in your pants and say 'this one goes to eleven' everytime you get eleven points.

    And you missed a good basketball movie, Juwanna Mann. Piece of crap, but pretty entertaining.

  10. JLee Says:
  11. You might get that x-rayed because I broke my foot in junior high the same way! I didn't land on someone's foot, but my foot simply rolled over while playing basketball and I fractured 2 metatarsals. You can get Arnica at most health food stores. Try and get one that says "C" at the end (like 30C) instead of "X" since they are stronger.

  12. stockings with seams that along the back - highly underappreciated, I find.

  13. Heff Says:
  14. Good luck with all that. Heff ain't worth a DAMN at basketball. Appropriate Spinal Tap dialogue regarding Heff and Basketball : "Well, this is just thoroughly depressing, now isn't it?"

  15. Kismetic - I remember and you're welcome.

    Trina - Thanks as I am chalking this injury up to bad luck, and thanks on the name as it came from a movie called "This is Spinal Tap."

    WhatIgot - I'm going to take your word on Juwanna Man as I remember the title, but little else. And you're right about the name being more appropriate for baseball. Ha. That would have been perfect.

    Jlee - Basketball is a dangerous game for the feet and I sprained my ankle many times while playing in high school. Thanks for the information on Arnica as I had never heard of it before.

    Idig - They are a hidden gem, and it's easy to take them for granted. I don't know why.

    Heff - Thanks, and there's so many good lines from that film which are appropriate for a vareity of situations. I just want to heal right now so I can play as being injured sucks.

  16. Wendy Says:
  17. Good luck, man. At least it's an adult league and you're in good shape. I took up fencing a while ago and not only was my instructor a Nazi, but my 12-year-old classmates routinely kicked my middle-aged ass.

  18. and people tell me boxing is dangerous.

  19. Wendy - Thanks, and I like the idea of being able to jab pointy objects at 12-year-olds (via fencing). Don't take any crap from them.

    Anonymous Boxer - There's probably a great chance of being struck in the head through boxing, but I think ankles & knees are worse for basketball. At least I hope I don't get popped in the mouth.

  20. Miss Ash Says:
  21. Good luck with the you know anyone else on your team (other than your brother of course)!! I find it fun with a bunch of friends vs a bunch of strangers.

  22. Thanks and I know about 2/3 of the team, so it should be pretty fun if I can heal.


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