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Is It Really Cheating If . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, March 28, 2007

{This is the ninth in a recurring series which will explore the brutally complex concept of monogomy in increasingly outlandish scenarios. We hope these will be illuminating what-if scenarios, and that they will cultivate some intense philosophical discussions around what, if anything, really constitutes cheating.}

Is It Really Cheating If:

You enter and win a trip on one of the first commercial shuttles going to Outer Space. Before you depart, however, you find yourself noticing another passenger, a dark-haired woman originally from Brazil and now living in Texas.

She notices you as well and then the space suits go on and blast-off occurs. You wave to your spouse/fiancé/girlfriend on the ground as the ship moves away from the Earth. Once you start orbiting our planet, you are struck by the amazing beauty of the experience and then find yourself floating towards the woman in a tucked-away corner of the shuttle.

You point at the Earth down below and both share a moment watching it before the sheer immensity of the situation and her hand on your shoulder cause you to produce a bold, yet weightless erection.

In slow motion, you both float to the back for some privacy and engage in a bump and grind that sets records for slowness and concentration, yet you still manage to complete the task like an unbridled stallion.

With space suits back on, you enjoy the rest of the trip and return safely to Earth where your spouse/fiancé/girlfriend meets you at the gates.

So, since the entire experience was weightless and extremely difficult, and you also remember that your spouse/fiancé/girlfriend once said that fidelity meant not having sex with "anybody else but me on the face of the Earth," is it really cheating?



  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. HA! That's creative. And safe to say no- since the likelihood...
    But yeah, sex is sex is sex. Even when there may be a greater need for lubricant (I dont know why I think that- body juices cant fight gravity...nevermind)

  3. Once leaving Earth's atmosphere, all bets are off. It's not cheating. I'm still not sure it's considered sex if gravity is not envolved. It just seems so unnatural, or rather unlikely. Floating around some spaceship with no pants on, mounting must be very difficult. I think if you can do it in space, you should get a medal.

  4. Anonymous - So the answer is no - right? And yes, body juice might be a problem for mere mortals. Ha.

    WhatIgot - I agree that all bets should be off, and I'm also of the same opinion that if you could pull off the feat, then you deserve recognition and not a fight from your wife/fiance/girlfriend.

  5. Miss Ash Says:
  6. Hmmm if she said that whole "anybody else but me on the face of the Earth," thing then i guess not. However, you know what women are like, she might take that back and consider it cheating.

  7. nobich Says:
  8. Nice one!! Go for it, but if she thinks it's cheating then it is. I am so the voice of doom.

  9. JLee Says:
  10. Are any diapers involved? That might change things...

  11. Miss Ash - I"m sure there would be reneging, but I still think I would win on a technicality. Ha. This wouldn't count for much in the end.

    Nobich - "if she thinks it's cheating then it is" is probably right, but would kill this entire series. Doom indeed.

    Jlee - Let's hope not as that is unattractive in every single way.

  12. tkkerouac Says:
  13. tkkerouac said...

  14. Ja7 L7+ Says:
  15. Only cheating if you didn't use a con-dome

  16. locomocos Says:
  17. and diapers!

    so is it really cheating the other way around? what if your wife/girlfriend/fiance met some Peruvian dude on the shuttle with multiple medals proving his adeptness to zero gravity?

    I say do it! and if nine months later a little baby appears - just use the old 'if a hot alien flew down, wanted sex, and then left forever' scenario.

    i don't know what that meant. but i'd do it. Viva Peruvians (and Brazilians!)

  18. Well, I have to say she did say, "...anybody else on Earth." But my guess is she would say that meant the Earth's atmosphere too!

  19. SymplyAmused Says:
  20. Hahaha, that's sooo funny! You sure have an imagination. Still cheating! : )

  21. tkkerouauc - Will do.

    Ja717 - I didn't consider that one. But let's assume you thought ahead and brought one on the ship - just in case.

    Locomocos - Who knew you had such an affinity for Peruvians? Ha. I kind of figured actually and the old alien baby line never works. Never.

    Sarcastic - Ahh, but she didn't explicitly say the atmosphere, so I think a solid argument could be made.

    Symplyamused - Come on. Ha. That should have gotten me off the hook.

  22. All I want to know is where in the world did you come up with this crazy ass scenario?!?!?
    YES It is cheating!! ;-)

  23. Trina - This is the 9th one so it's getting harder and harder, but I think this one is easily not cheating - on a technicality. Ha.


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