It's too easy to rail about Valentine's Day for being a "Hallmark Holiday" or a conspiracy by chocolatiers and floral designers to empty our wallets and make us feel like lesser men for not shelling out for overpriced buds or making reservations for price-fix menus where the service is lousy and chefs are surly and pissed. 
But I won't.
Like I said, that would be too easy, it's been done before and bitching about things that will not change is about as productive as Britney Spears trying to take a long division test without a calculator. 
Control what you can control, and life is infinitely less frustrating (at least I keep telling myself this MUST be true).
Anyway, I was thinking about Valentine's Day and gifts and romance, when I started to remember the strangest gift I ever gave a woman to celebrate the occasion. This occurred back in high school, a shaky period in general and so allowances must be made.
Even with a margin for error, however, my decision to purchase a Dracula hologram for Valentine's Day was easily the worst decision of my career. 
{Editor's Note: This is the ACTUAL hologram I purchased - it changes from 3 different faces (not seen) - and I nearly shit myself at work when I found it}
What possessed me to do this? I'm not sure as I can't recall my exact mindset. I probably just thought it was cool and rationalized that since I'd like to have it hanging in my bedroom that my girlfriend would love it even more.
This delusional thinking extended to a firm belief that the hologram was so thoughtful that Dracula would not only have the ability to morph into a bloodsucker before our eyes, but that he would also wield a panty-melting power that would reduce my girlfriend's willpower to nothing at all.
Obviously this wasn't the end result.
So, with that debacle behind me, my recommendation for the evening is:
A) Stay home
B) Chill some champagne
C) Find something to nibble on - strawberries, chocolate, a shapely buttocks, etc.
And don't let your wife/fiancé/girlfriend unwrap a present that has Dracula staring back at her in 3-D. You're welcome.
-BDS
Man, that's worse than power tools for Valentine's Day! haha
Live and learn, eh?
Happy VD 2DP!
I can't wait. I am pretty sure I am going to get a Delta/Porter Cable sweat shirt!
What I am positive of is that he will screw it up!
Control what you can control!
It was high school. Time of angst, mourning and uncontrollable boners. You're excused. Today, my 15-year-old daughter chose to wear a top featuring Sid & Nancy, with the words "Love Kills."
So. You never did tell us your girlfriend's reaction to the hologram. I take it she isn't the current Mrs. 2-Dollar.
Some people might say it is similar to giving your wife a biography of Hitler for Christmas. In my case, I really liked receiving the gift, however other people were just weirded out by it.
I treated myself to new tires and a truck alignment! My Valentine's gift.. Happy Valentine's Day!!!
I'm thinking Britney's long division productivity wouldn't change even if she had a calculator.
ohhh nooo now see, I would love the halogram... totally my taste, flowers- rubish they die, candy- hell no, I am on a diet-whatcha want me fat, champagne- get me some jack and a shot glass- if want to get me drunk make it quick, I tend to puke, staying at home-hell no I do that everynight, now nibbling-ohhhhh I got something for you.... ha! Happy V day!!!
Thats the difference between men and women. A man would love get some cool shit like a Dracula hologram.
You can never go wrong with champagne!
Dracula is another story...HA
I'm sure you meant well. After all,
you were only thinking of her comfort by producing a gift that could potentially melt her panties
;-)
Happy V Day!
Jlee - Happy V-Day yourself, and I think power tools are worse than the hologram. But that's just me. Ha.
Girlbehind - It's good to be certain about things in life, eh? Wear it with pride, I hear it's cold in Canada.
Wendy - Ha. No, she didn't last, but the hologram wasn't a deal-breaker in our relationship as it continue long after the gift was presented. As for your daughter, she's 15 so she has a lot of leeway (sp?) in my book.
Sarcastic - I hate to say it, but I would be in the weirded out category unless some background explanation was included. Ha. But as long as you liked it, that's all that matters.
Symplyamused - Treat yourself well. Happy V-Day right back.
Robert - Probably not as I would still lay money down that she would score a non-passing grade.
Shroommonkey - Good. I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking this could be a very sharp item to have and hold. And just a little champagne, not too much, can be great for triggering the rest. Happy V Day.
WhatIgot - Just one of many my friend.
Kayla - My thinking too. I give and give and give and sometimes it's just not reciporcated (sp?). You can't win them all . . . Happy V Day.
The worst gift i got, was one of those white vases with little balls on them, fake flowers inside with glue gun crap on them for effect and 2 stuffed monkeys hugging around the ball vase. Awful....i hate VDay.
I had a high school moment this past V Day....My wife has been talking about the south beach diet a lot lately. For a fleeting moment I thought, Hey I could pick that book up for V Day...thankfully I was not in high school anymore and went with a sapphire necklace instead...Ha what the hell was I thinking?
Miss Ash - I can't say I'm a big fan, but hate might be a bit strong. That being said, that was a poor gift you got.
Rob - Smart move. No question about it. Even if they would like it and might vaguely want a diet book, it has no place on Valentine's Day.