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Is It Really Cheating If . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Thursday, February 08, 2007

{This is the eighth in a recurring series which will explore the brutally complex concept of monogomy in increasingly outlandish scenarios. We hope these will be illuminating what-if scenarios, and that they will cultivate some intense philosophical discussions around what, if anything, really constitutes cheating.}

Is It Really Cheating If:

A brutal cold spell has struck the Northeastern part of the country. Temperatures hover near or below freezing as you travel to New York for a business meeting.

The meeting lasts into the night as you bicker and barter, nudge and negotiate, debate and debase yourself with an attractive attorney who boasts a killer body hidden beneath a pile of clothes to ward off the bitter cold.

Around midnight, the building loses power and suddenly, the boardroom is lit only by the faint glow of the low-wattage emergency bulbs and the doors have automatically malfunctioned and locked themselves.

It turns cold very quickly, and in the early morning hours, an idea to stay warm is hatched - sex. Hot, powerful and steamy sex to ward off the chill that could possibly threaten your very life if your body temperature is allowed to drop.

No clothing is shed as the deed is done on the boardroom table, often and repeatedly until 8 a.m. the next day when power is restored. Somewhere in the midst of this, the deal is brokered and you board your flight home to your spouse/fiancé/girlfriend alive and with a nice commission coming soon.

So, with the possibility of freezing to death in the mix, and since there was no professional physician around to monitor the situation, Is it really cheating . . .



  1. its not cheating if the only alternative is death, however this situation doesnt seem life threatening enough to not be considered cheating.

    Talk to me when a horny grizzle bear is holding a gun to your head and wants to watch you sodomize the Chili's waitress; that shit is life or death.

  2. JLee Says:
  3. I'm with Bea on that one.

  4. Charlie Shame - Now that is truly a life-threatening situation, but I"m not sure about the Chili's waitress as I've found most to be too perky and unattractive for the situation. I could be very wrong.

    Jlee - Bears too, eh? You're still just angry about Chicago losing the Super Bowl. Ha.

  5. That's cheating. You can spoon to keep warm, exposing certain body parts in that cold would be a bad idea. Do you wanna risk frostbite on that?
    The bear thing, well, unless you can prove the whole thing (photos or video) to your sig. other, it just sounds like a really lame cover story.

  6. Good point as if I had to pick one appendage that I wouldn't want to get frostbite on that would be the clear winner. And I think in the bear scenario, it's possible except for holding the gun - that would push it over the top.

  7. Robert Says:
  8. I guess I would ask as a qualifier, would the solution be the same if the other person was the same sex. If one can still honestly answer yes, the perhaps it's not cheating (provided one is not bi of course). However, if one man wouldn't have sex with another man but one would with a woman, then one's life is probably not really in danger and one is probably looking for an excuse to cheat.

  9. Wendy Says:
  10. By "nice commission coming soon" did you mean "herpes"?

  11. Melissa Says:
  12. You'd suffer a less violent death if you just freeze, because that excuse won't fly.

    I do, however, like Robert's answer.

  13. Robert - I wasn't planning on shifting this to Brokeback Mountain territory, however, I suppose the answer is no, which would lead to the cheating conclusion. Damn.

    Wendy - No. Herpes is never a good thing and herpes coming soon is even worse. Not good at all.

    Melissa - I'm not so fond of the answer, but the question certainly makes sense. Ha.

  14. Anonymous Says:
  15. You may actually be the one paying commissions to her if in nine months she calls you regarding the deal that was done. That's quite a long deal.

  16. Jackie Says:
  17. I'm not sure taking your penis out in such weather is wise. But if you're brave enough, I think it's not cheating.

  18. Anonymous - That would be quite a deduction instead of commission as children are money-pits (sp?) for all practical purposes.

    Jackie - Sometimes you have to be brave. Not always, but sometimes . . .

  19. SymplyAmused Says:
  20. I say cheating because ummm...what a minute I'm too cold to think right now : )

  21. You see, the cold can do strange things to the brain which can lead to questionable decicion-making.

  22. It is still cheating, plus I would think certain things might get frostbitten, which would put a damper on the keeping warm part.

  23. Body Heat, Sarcastic. It's all about the body heat. Ha.

  24. Sherry Says:
  25. Even though naked bodies do generate more heat, without doing anything, it is still cheating.
    But damm does it get cold in those NY office buildings! ... can't say that I might not do the same ...

  26. A tough choice for sure. But sometimes you have to take the chance and come down on the side of not freezing to death.

  27. Al Sensu Says:
  28. It wasn't cheating. It was prostitution. But that's what we salespeople do day in and day out. Congratulations on the sale!


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