"I like my sex like I like my basketball - one on one and with as little dribbling as possible," - Lt. Frank Drebin, "Naked Gun 33 1/3" {This might be Naked Gun 2 1/2 as I think about it this morning}
It's been cold as hell in Austin, which is still mild compared to the Midwest and Northeast, but despite the frigid weather, things are heating up with claims on Anna Nicole Smith's baby. 
By my count, at least 4 people have stepped up to claim responsibility for the toddler including a bodyguard, a bleached blonde, Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband and Howard K. Stern. That's a motley crue of folks, and it sounds like a walking punchline.
It seems the only people who haven't yet filed for ownership include former wrestling great, The Iron Shiek and Judd Nelson. But they are currently meeting with lawyers. 
Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller are set to star in an action comedy version of The Hardy Boys, the long-running book series about the teen sleuths. 
The version will concern the Hardy men, and quite honestly, this is probably a good choice for Cruise after his personal life implosion over the past few years because showing a sense of humor might help people forget that you and your band of Merry Scientologists are secretly plotting to rule the world.
Isaac Cohen, the month-long ex-boyfriend of Britney Spears, gave an interview this week where he claimed the pop starlet is still struggling to get over the collapse of her marriage and deals with her insecurities and inner demons by engaging in sex marathons.
Finally, I feel I have something in common with Britney as I find that lengthy sexual romps are the only way to reasonably deal with overwhelming tasks like work, money or deciding what clothes to wear every day. No decision is too small for this to work.
Beyonce says she’sa shy girl and posing is tough, but she is currently gracing the cover of the 2007 Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition cover.
I don't see how posing could be that tough when you know they're going to airbrush any body part that is lagging and even those that aren't; a knowledge which would take some of the concern away for me.
In a radical departure from my perception of this man as a good actor, but a cold fish, Ralph Fiennes lost a girlfriend after she implied that "The English Patient” is “sex obsessed” just days before reports surfaced that Fiennes had sex with a Qantas flight attendant on a flight from Australia to India. 
Interior designer Sirin Lewenden was not surprised when she read in the papers about the escapade as she ended their relationship citing Fiennes’ "wandering eye", "moodiness" and "constant demands for sex".
I can't say I blame Lewenden, but unfortunately, her litany of poor qualities regarding Fiennes could also describe 98% of the men on this planet as a daily regime of moodiness and sexual demands dominate most of our lives for good or ill.
Disgraced pop duo Milli Vanilli will soon get a movie made about their less-than-spectacular career. 
Have we really gone from chronicling great musicians - Ray Charles and Johnny Cash - to wasting money on no-talent morons in spandex? I guess so, and it makes me even madder than I can't get my script "Last Train to Amsterdam" read.
Paula Abdul denied rumors that she's a pill-popper or a drunk this week as the "American Idol" judge stated "'I've never been drunk. I have never done recreational drugs.
Without those explanations to fall back on, Abdul later added that "it's not the pills or the booze - I'm just bat-shit crazy."
But let's end things with an image that is far from crazy:
Always tie a corset firmly from behind, stay warm and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
what is up with judd nelson's hair!!! and I will tell you from experience- there is no way that girl is going to be able to get herself into that corset..
hey guys have a happy friday!!
Anonymous - Who knows what makes Nelson tick? And I would volunteer to help out that poor woman in need. I give.
Slopmaster - As long as that's not actually the case, I refuse to nitpick details. And I've never seen a WF that long - it must like to test you.
Nobich - Happy Friday to you.
way to ruin a moment, Slopmaster! haha
You covered a lot of ground here and I'm too laid back on a Friday to comment on all of it. I just want to say that I fathered Anna Nicole's baby. Or maybe Ralph Fiennes...
Happy Friday.
Umm what is up with Judd Nelson??? He looks like a homeless man....too bad, he had it going on in The Breakfast Club, hot badboy.
What the eff happened to Rodimus Prime?
Jlee - Stay away from Ralph as he is a sex-crazy Englishman, but I would throw your hat in the Anna Nicole sweepstakes. Good luck.
Miss Ash - It's been a long time since the Breakfast Club for Nelson. A long time. But he was good in that movie and I own it on DVD as it was a shining example of 80s filmmaking.
WhatIgot - Missed you in cyberspace, but who the hell is Rodimus Prime? I need to know these things.
Well, there is a lot of juicy information today, but I want to start off by saying how much I enjoy reading your "Quick Hit Friday" posts!
~Judd Nelson is clearly trying to imitate his idol, Nick Nolte
~Sounds like Britney and Fiennes need to hook up for a sex marathon..Ewww
~Paula Abdul needs to say she is an pill popping boozer, because without those excuses, you're right! All we can assume is she's bat shit crazy! Better to go into Rehab than a mental institution!
~Finally, I LOVE that Frank Drebin quote
Happy Friday
Tell me, tell me, tell you are joking about the Hardy Boys/Men movie. Please...$$, lie to me if you must. Just tell me you're joking.
And as for the corsets ~ tying them tightly from behind is the servant's job. >;)
Kayla - I appreciate the sentiment as sometimes it takes a bit to garner and consolidate all this earth-shattering info. Ha. That's a good idea about Ralph and Britney - I didn't make the connection - and that Drebin quote has stuck with me from the first time I saw that movie & I have used it often. And not always credited the source either.
Bostonpobble - It's apparently true, and I would hate to set your expectations for something that will almost certainly occur. You could always go see the Milli Vannilli movie instead. Ha. And even if I had a faithful servant, I would take care of the corset personally. I am a bear for detail.
The whole Anna Nicole Smith thing is very tragic yet very similar to a tornado hitting a trailer park. You want to turn away from the details, but you just can't as it gets more bizarrer everyday.
Notice a pattern on the whole AI PR cycle? Season starts, judges are declared mean, Paula is declared drunk. By the time they get to Hollywood, Paula has sobered up, and the judges are God. By the final weeks, the judges are genius and Paula dabs her eyes every other week. Did they think we wouldn't notice?
Sarcastic - An apt analogy, and I just like to catch pieces because watching the whole thing is far too time-consuming. I'll take the Cliff Notes version at some point.
Shroommonkey - That's the point I was alluding to as it can solve virtually anything. But I would be wary of Fiennes, he might be too much of a sexual demon for any one person. Ha.
Linda - It has been an interesting ride so far, and although I haven't watched a single show, I've kept up via odd clips from the Internet or "The Soup." I can see your scenario playing out too.
ACK! I can't deal with that hair.
Quick, play The Breakfast Club so that my eyes will stop burning ...