2 Dollar Productions

The above title references an awful Sean Connery quote from an equally bad movie, "Just Cause," but it is still apt to describe the talent or lack thereof concerning the career of David Blaine.

Blaine is ostensibly a "magician" as his past feats of daring work included balancing on a small platform for 35 hours and surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours. In 2003, he visited London where he fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River and had to contend with passerbys who taunted Blaine and pelted him with food.

Now, Blaine plans to live underwater for seven days and nights in a "human aquarium" in front of New York's Lincoln Center. At the end of this week-long journey with the sea monkeys, Blaine will attempt to set a new record for holding his breath underwater.



This guy isn't a magician, he's simply some jerk-off with a lot of patience and too much time on his hands.

ABC plans to air a 2 hour special detailing the attempt, and the only reason I might tune in for 5 minutes will be to see if Blaine happens to drown during his attempt.

For a real funtional magician, Blaine might look at David Copperfield.



Copperfield had never had impressed me too much, but recently, he used magic to foil a group of would-be robbers.

One woman handed over $400 US from her pockets and the other gave up her purse with 200 euros, $100, her passport, plane tickets and a cellphone.

Copperfield says he turned his pockets inside out to reveal nothing in them, even though he was carrying his passport, wallet and cellphone and the thieves walked away with none of his property.

Now that's real magic (even if he did allow his female companion to be thoroughly robbed).

-BDS