It's been a week since my computer got fried, and it's nice to finally be back online.
For a reason completely unrelated to downloading pornography (seriously) my computer was hijacked and hosed by something unknown that corrupted my hard drive and forced me to pay the "Geek Squad" at Best Buy $200 to remedy.
Not only did I have to suffer the indignity of not having a computer for a week, but the "Geek Squad" check-in guy also hit on me as I told him my troubles.
It must have been all the talk about hard drives and corrupted systems and hosing my mainframe that opened the door I suppose.
As I grew more restless with each passing computer-less day, however, I wasn't thinking of the "Geek Squad." Instead, I was contemplating the various ways that these cretins who put viruses and spyware and trojan horses on the Net should be dealt with.
A few to wit:
1) Tear their nipples off with a pair of rusty pliers
2) Force them to watch every movie Rutger Hauer has ever been a part of.
3) Two words - "The Gimp" 
4) Three words - Liza Minelli's houseboy
5) Chinese water torture while a recording of the Nelson classic "After The Rain" blares in the background
I don't care if most of these Net-marauding jerk-offs are probably around 15 years old and living the life of a social outcast in public school systems around the world - you still deserve a cruel and unusual punishment.
And I think any combination of rusty pliers, The Gimp, and Nelson will truly allow the punishment to fit the crime.
-BDS
Too bad there is no Dawson in Austin, but it is the porn. IT was the porn last time too. Surprised you did not get hit on when you bought Brokeback Mt. Jay got a good laugh from this one. Can't remember my password, but you know who I am
I refuse to acknowledge the porn because I decided long ago that Internet porn is too dicey and that I'd much rather just buy $200 worth of illicit materials than fork the same amount over to the Geek Squad.
The Geek Squad commander did hit on me because he kept staring intently at me during check-in, asked a lot of questions unrelated to my computer AND gave me a free Geek Squad t-shirt upon turning my computer over to him. Note: None of the other 5 people ahead of me in the line received any items of clothing.
But I didn't get any kind of discount and I would gladly pay full price over the alternative bartering system he had in mind.