Worth A Matinee or Full-Price Ticket: Full Price - You get 2 films, 4 Trailers and 3 plus hours of entertainment.
Will I Own It On DVD: Yes
1) "Grindhouse" is compulsively watchable from Rodriguez's zombie-splatter flick to the talky car-chase implosion of Tarantino and the even previews for movies that don't exist at all combine for a hell of an enjoyable trip to the theater.
2) That being said, I enjoyed "Planet Terror" by Rodriguez more than I thought I would going into it, and "Death Proof" by Tarantino a bit less than I anticipated. This is likely due to expectations as I always have very high ones for QT and the problem with those kinds of preconceived notions is that it's damn hard to live up to them. 
3) The casting is excellent as these are glorified B-movies and so the actors populating "Grindhouse" - James Fahey (Lawnmower Man), Michael Bien (Terminator, Tombstone), Josh Brolin (Invisible Man) Danny Trejo (Desperado, Marked For Death) - and many lesser-known thespians who you'll remember from other movies that you can't quite name truly add an authentic feel to the action.
4) I particularly enjoyed Rose McGowan in "Planet Terror" as she looked great before and after she got her machine-gun leg, and in "Death Proof" the opening scenes were peppered with constant references and local shots around Austin as several scenes were shot about 5 minutes from my loft, including one at Gueros on S. Congress where I have eaten and drank many a margarita inside their walls. 
5) The fake previews - made by real directors like Eli Roth and Rob Zombie - were hilarious because who can't laugh at sneak peeks for trash like "Werewolf Women Of The S.S" or "Thanksgiving" where Roth proves once again that he man has some serious issues with violence and women (I refuse to divulge more).
All in all, "Grindhouse" was simply a fun movie that should be packaged together and not split apart as the Weinsteins apparently plan to do for its overseas run.
It creates a particular dynamic and world where anything seems reasonable and even if it's about as deep as a rain puddle, sometimes a movie just needs to be cool.
-BDS
"One thought he was invincible, the other thought he could fly.
They were both wrong," - Steven Seagal, "Marked For Death" 
It was snowing and cold last weekend, but now the sun is out and it's 80 degrees and there seems to be no good reason for me to be in an office today, yet I find myself sitting here pondering stories like:
Anna Nicole Smith's former boyfriend Larry Birkhead is the father of Smith's baby, DNA tests have revealed Tuesday and Birkhead proclaimed 'I told you so' after emerging from the courthouse. 
If you had money on Howard K. Stern being the father then you are a complete buffoon.
Singer, dancer and one-time Playboy magazine model Willa Ford will star as the late Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith in a biographical film about the billionaire's widow that starts shooting next week. Ford, best known for her hit single "I Wanna Be Bad" and a stint on the ABC television show "Dancing with the Stars," confirmed her title role in the film, "Anna Nicole."
I think Ford is a great choice given her history of "wanting to be bad" because this project is going to be even worse.
Embattled broadcaster Don Imus' professional fate depends on the CBS Corporation, now that MSNBC has stopped simulcasting his morning program following the controversy stemming from Imus' reference to the Rutgers female basketball players as "nappy-headed hos" last week. 
Imus' comments were ridiculous on multiple levels, but staying strictly on the surface for a minute, how can Imus criticize anyone else's hair?
Kevin Costner is sung a music promoter, alleging the company breached a contract to back his fledgling music career as he has tagged Mahee Worldwide Ventures with an $8.5 million lawsuit alleging fraud and a breach of contract.
My feeling is that Mahee Ventures quickly realized that The Kevin Costner Band was a musical albatross around their necks and refused to fund the group because anyone foolish enough to buy a CD of their material would likely sue the company for extreme auditory discomfort and for far more money than a paltry $8.5 million.
Joe Francis, the multimillionaire founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" video series, was indicted on tax evasion charges on Wednesday -- a day after being arrested and jailed in Florida for contempt of court. The sultan of soft-core smut faces up to 10 years in prison and a $500,000 fine. 
If Francis does go to jail, it seems like karma that instead of him yelling for underage girls to "take off your top" and "show us your tits" that some hairy, giant monster cell-mate will be telling him to "drop his pants" and smile. Ouch.
Laguna Beach and The Hills alum Jason Wahler was arrested for the fourth time in the past nine months in Seattle this week, and charged with criminal trespassing and assault after allegedly launching into a racist and homophobic tirade against a police officer.
I generally hesitate before writing people off before they are legally allowed to drink, but Wahler is just a flat-out worthless piece of shit. I hate to be ambiguous, but . . .
Let's now dwell on the bad, and so we'll end with a gold standard image:
Regardles of whether you're driving a crotch rocket or a Taurus or taking the bus to work today, have a good one and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Kurt Vonnegut, whose dark humor and imagination was recorded in stories for more than 40 years, died last night in Manhattan at the age of 84. 
According to the New York Times, Vonnegut had suffered brain injuries from a recent fall.
``He's the closest thing we've had to Voltaire,'' said Tom Wolfe. ``It's a sad day for the literary world.''
If you haven't read "Slaughterhouse-Five" or "Cat's Cradle," I would recommend them both very highly. 
-BDS
It was sad to read that the former home of Johnny Cash burnt down yesterday as renovations were being made to the property. 
The house, where Cash hosted many talented musicians over the years like Bob Dylan and others, a place where Kris Kristofferson once landed a helicopter on the lawn to give Cash the demo to a song he'd written, was destroyed from the fast-spreading fire. 
As disturbing as it was to learn that news, I found it even more unsettling to discover that the work was being carried out by former Bee Gees singer Barry Gibb, its new owner who bought the house for $2.3 million last year.
What kind of realtor would sell Johnny Cash's house to Barry Gibb?
It seems wholly unreasonable for those two men to occupy the same residence, a musical slap to the solar plexus of a house which knew great heights of artistic creativity and one that likely creaked and recoiled to its wooden core whenever "Stayin' Alive" was played.
This would be akin to Dylan selling his house to Bret Michaels, Vanilla Ice moving into Dr. Dre's home, or Lucinda Williams vacating her residence to let Paula Abdul move inside. 
Some things simply should not be allowed to happen.
The cause of the fire at Cash's house is still unknown, but my own personal theory is that even God realized that every day Barry Gibb remained inside those 4 walls was a sin which could no longer be ignored.
We'll see how that hypothesis matches the official report.
-BDS
It sucks when you decide you want something, and then find out that the cost doesn't remotely match the price you formulated in your head. The size, cost and products can vary widely, but I seem to be running into this nasty mix lately in regards to:
1) A coffee/espresso maker 
A decent one of these will set you back at least $750, and can easily run to $1,500 or more. For that kind of money, there should be a flat-screen TV attached to it.
2) Rugs 
I have scorred (sp?) concrete floors downstairs in my loft and have been told by many people that a rug would "lighten up" the room. So I recently looked online and for a rug of any size whatsoever you're talking several hundred dollars on the cheap, and it can easily reach several thousands.
This seems like a racket to me, and if I'm going to shell out $3,500 for a rug then there should be a good-looking woman lying on top of it. I can't see this being legally or morally feasible, but . . .
3) Pornography
$50 or more for a single adult DVD is highway robbery. But this is what you will pay at stores around Austin for a product with a shelf life of 3 complete viewings before it becomes irrelevant. You can find better deals online, but sometimes you just can't plan ahead for these type of emergencies.
4) Mark Nason boots 
These bastards have been eyeing me from the pages of Playboy and Vanity Fair for months, but when I saw a pair at Nordstroms those shoe-store hyenas wanted close to $400 for them. I might pay that if I got to plant my boot firmly into someone's ass. Maybe.
5) Red Stripe
I've been craving these since I got back from Virgin Gorda, but they have no business being $10 for a 6-pack just because they were featured in "The Firm", come from Jamaica and house their beer in squatty bottles.
I'm sure this is the tip of the iceberg for over-priced wants, and that none of the above items are necessary to get by in life, a realization that doesn't give me the least bit of comfort when I find myself drawn to them.
-BDS
"Eskimos are smug," - John Turturro, "Anger Management"
There's something about Whole Foods that irritates me, and I wasn't able to put my finger on it until this past weekend when I was picking up a few things for Easter. 
I don't frequent Whole Foods all that often because if you can afford to do the majority of your shopping there then you've got a lot more disposable income than I do.
It's good for specialty items like seafood, coffee and beer and I while I like the ability to pick these kinds of things up on occasion, I can't say I enjoy the smugness that oozes from the store.
It's not the structure itself, but rather the patrons, and to a lesser degree, the staff. I finally realized this as I paced the aisles this past weekend, grappling with the unsalted almond bin and the self-satisfied, pompous looks of at least 63% of the other shoppers. {Editor's Note: This percentage is merely a rough estimate and has absolutely no science or qualification behind it.}
It was so prevalent that I started laughing because it seems a bit ridiculous that so many shoppers feel entitled to some sort of grocery-purchasing elite stature just because they choose to buy organic and pricey vegetables and then have them sacked inside a paper (not plastic) bag.
I'm all for less pesticides in my food and for being Earth-friendly, but you could cut the smugness quotient in half and still be mildly irritating.
That being said, if I were single then I definitely spend more time at Whole Foods because the genetic and store-bought bodies on display were far superior than the ones I typically see at the HEB by my loft. It seems vaguely ironic that the same people buying all natural foods to put in their bodies would boast some truly spectacular examples of silicone and saline, but that is a contradiction I'm willing to overlook. 
Judge not lest ye be judged and all that jazz.
-BDS
"How hot and wet do you like it?"
"Very hot, and awfully wet," - Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Pressly, "The Naked Gun"
It's Good Friday, which means I am off work and headed from Austin to Oklahoma and back in a short weekend to visit family, steal candy from my niece/nephew's Easter baskets and eat about a dozen Cadbury Crème Eggs, but first let's take a look at the week that was including:
Howard K. Stern ropped his bid Monday to block the release of DNA test results that could reveal the father of her baby daughter when it appeared a Bahamas court was going to reject his appeal.
When the relatively lawless Caribbean country you've been hiding out in for months rejects you, and virtually everyone on the planet know you're not the father, you should really just give up the fight and try to preserve the minimal amount of dignity you still possess. Of course, this won't happen with Stern.
On a related note, One doctor authorized all 11 prescription medications found in Anna Nicole Smith's hotel room, most of them in the name of the starlet's companion, according to documents released by the medical examiner's office Wednesday.
I just want to know the Doctor's name - and his phone number as I'm feeling a bit under the weather.
Britney Spears reportedly told estranged husband Kevin Federline he was the "biggest mistake she ever made" before signing her divorce settlement. 
That might be true, but K-Fed had some pretty stiff competition when you throw "Crossroads" the movie, repeatedly wearing no panties in public and shaving your head into the mix.
Mandy Moore fractured her ankle after jumping off a boat for a magazine shoot recently for Self magazine. 
What the hell did she jump off into - a pool of water made of concrete?
KITT, the flame-throwing, river-jumping, talking muscle car from the ‘80s TV show “Knight Rider,” is up for sale as the modified black 1982 Pontiac Trans Am is offered at $149,995 at a Dublin auto dealership. 
For an extra $1,000 and a chest waxing, you purchase an upgraded package that includes David Hasselhoff in the passenger seat.
Keith Richards said this week that he was joking when he claimed to have snorted his father's ashes along with cocaine, a spokesman said Wednesday. Disney officials weren't amused, however, and have banned Richards from promoting the final installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean series this summer. 
Richards replied that he was going to DisneyWorld, find Pluto and grind him into a fine powder to mix with his Heroin and then shoot him up Uranus.
The Tarantino and Rodriguez joint effort "Grindhouse" and its physical production had come to a halt last year when Rodriguez allegedly "fell" for his leading lady, Rose McGowan, and his wife Elizabeth Avellan found out. 
I guess the art imitated life in this instance as the McGowan's trailer was almost certainly a Grindhouse of epic proportions.
In the Easter spirit, let's end with a stellar image like this:
So let's hope we all find something good in our baskets this weekend, always remove the tail before eating anything and . . . Happy Friday & Easter!
-BDS
"We make lists of what we need and want from each other and check them regularly. We list everything from how much sex to what kind of food we want. It's so we can find out what the other needs and that we're going in the right direction. It doesn't sound romantic but it works for us." - John Travolta about his life with Kelly Preston
I would love to see the daily to-do lists at the Travolta household. I imagine they would look something like:
John's Day:
1) Fly private jet
2) Request roasted duck, spinach and cheesecake for dinner
3) Ask Kelly for handjob at 4 pm
4) Read mediocre comedy script
5) TIVO American Idol
Kelly's Day:
1) Deny handjob request
2) Read TV pilot scripts
3) Check on the duck preparation
4) Request missionary sex at 9 p.m.
5) Watch "American Idol"
Personally, I don't make lists as I have a mind like a steel trap, but I think that you have to do whatever works for you.
But in the category of things that aren't working, and as an update to yesterday's post, Courtney Love is still parading around Hawaii in poorly chosen bikinis. 
Even her face seems to be recoiling in horror.
-BDS
It's 80 degrees in Austin, and since summer will be right around the corner, it seems that a quick review of swimsuits could be useful - especially since celebs tend to vacation year-round and wear them frequently.
Here's one I wouldn't wear:
There are so many things wrong with this Courtney Love image that it's hard to know where to start, but that looks like some potential liposuction skin pooled around her middle, which does not look particularly good with a small two-piece that draws attention to, rather than away from, the area.
Tara Reid, always a bastion of classy attire, chose only mildly better with this red thing:
In general, I always favor cleavage as I think it has the ability to distract from virtually anything, but this one is doing Tara no favors as she looks misshapen, which seems wrong given her very public and repeated surgeries for breast implants.
If red is your thing, then Pam Anderson is far better:
In my opinion, Pam should only be allowed in public wearing bikinis, and I wonder if she is still as fast running in sand as she was during her "Baywatch" days because I am pretty fleet of foot when needed.
I generally don't care too much for Cameron Diaz, but she looks pretty damn good in this recent bikini shot:
This was a good choice and takes the cake for swimwear choices - for now. We'll see what happens as the summer gets closer as the inspection of bikini choices can be a dirty and unrelentingly brutal job, but somebody has to do it.
-BDS
{This is the seventh in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits with my brother. Last night, we shared a few pitchers of Harp which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}
* Spandex is one of the most unforgiving materials in the known universe and you better look damn good before even thinking about wearing it in public
* Does it not seem strange that all these famous women hawking hair color products have so many stylists that the last time they got their hair color from a box coloring product was somewhere around middle school?
* If anyone ever makes a request to pull their finger - don't. 
* Take a crap or talk on your cell phone - do not do both at once as both endeavors will suffer.
* There's always one guy in a group who takes a good joke and takes it one step too far, and if you're that person, then you will never be funny.
* There are few things more depressing than packing up to head back home after a vacation. Malaria and movies starring Hilary Duff spring to mind.
* If anyone is still doing bad Austin Powers impressions at parties these days and asking people after 2 drinks "Do I make you horny baby," then walk away from that person immediately and avoid them the rest of the night. 
{Editor's Note: This man pictured is NOT me}
* I have never once received an email marked with high importance/urgent that actually was either of the two.
* If someone asks you what your weaknesses are, a good answer is I used to be arrogant but now I have no faults.
* It is not reasonable to masturbate at someone else's house unless you receive specific clearance from the host or happen to be taking a shower at the residence (or obviously if the host is also involved in the session).
* Whatever happened to Neve Campbell? 
She should be on a Milk Box or something.
-BDS
