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Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, December 19, 2008

"You don't got nothing to do with your life. Why don't you get a job? Work with lepers. Blind kids. Anything's gotta be better than lying around all day waiting for me to fuck you." - Al Pacino, "Scarface"


I watched that movie again this week as it had been a long time, and I'd forgotten what an incredible scumbag Al Pacino was in that project. But I'm feeling far from thuggish today as the week is nearly over and for once, I have no holiday parties clouding my weekend schedule.

So, before I escape early from the office, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Tara Reid entered rehab this week for an undisclosed addiction, according to People magazine.

"Tara Reid has checked herself into Promises Treatment Center. We appreciate your respect to her and her family's privacy at this time," said actress's rep, Jack Ketsoyan. Reid told People in October that she was a "social drinker" who enjoyed an occasional glass of wine with friends.


The problem was that Reid's "friends" always included Jack (Daniels), Jim (Beam) and Gordon (Gin).

A used tissue with snot and lipstick from Scarlett Johansson was being sold on eBay this week.

Johansson used the tissue during her appearance on Wednesday's "Tonight" show while she promoted 'The Spirit' movie. After Jay Leno handed her the tissue, Johansson announced she would sell it on eBay to raise money for the hunger relief charity USA Harvest and then blew twice.

As of Thursday morning, the dirty tissue had snagged more than 60 bids and the highest sat at $2,050.


I only wish my own soiled tissues would fetch as much money because I could have retired during middle school if that were the case.

It was reported this week that Madonna had given Guy Ritchie between 50 and 60 million pounds ($76-92 million) as part of their divorce settlement.

Both the Associated Press (AP) and Reuters reported the figures, but now the couple are distancing themselves from the accuracy of the details.

"We have tried to maintain a dignified silence regarding the details of our divorce for the last few months whilst accepting the obvious media interest," said a joint statement from the pair. "A misleading and inaccurate statement, specifically in relation to the sums of money involved, was wrongly issued to AP this week."


Richie also said it's hard to remain dignified "when I'm bloody, stinkin' rich you bunch of poor punters."

Rumors surfaced this week that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's marriage is on the rocks after J. Lo was seen at the premiere of 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' without her 8-carat diamond wedding ring or Anthony.

Sources close to the couple are saying that their marriage is strained. An inside source says, "They both didn't wear their rings on purpose. Nothing Jennifer does is without purpose." Another source adds that, "He's very, very controlling of her. The skirts aren't as short. You don't see so much of that booty anymore."


And if you don't see Lopez's booty anymore, then it's no wonder her career has floundered as that's akin to Samson cutting off his hair.

Bassist Pete Wentz from the band Fall Out Boy told Howard Stern this week about his steamy sex life with Ashlee Simpson.

The musician revealed to Stern that the young married couple have such an “amazing” sex life that if they had been on the show last year, they would “probably be doing it in the green room right now” and went onto state that Ashlee “loves giving me lap dances. She gives a mean lap dance,” and that she wears thongs and “sexy clothes.”

He later added that he probably would have thought about a threesome with his wife and her sister, pop tart Jessica Simpson a long time ago.


In response to the last bit, Jessica Simpson was seen Falling Out of her chair and throwing up in her mouth.

Scottsdale police arrested a Phoenix man early Wednesday after he allegedly pushed a nightclub security guard while trying to get close to actress Lindsay Lohan.

Police say Lohan and gal-pal Samantha Ronson were trying to leave the Jackrabbit Lounge nightclub and security guards were trying to hold back the crowd when the 38-year-old fan became disruptive. He was booked on a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge and later released.


The most disturbing part of this story is that Lohan still draws enough of a crowd to require security.

Actor Jeremy Piven has abruptly left the hit Broadway revival of David Mamet's "Speed-the-Plow," blaming a high mercury count, Daily Variety reported on Thursday.

After missing Tuesday night's performance and a Wednesday matinee, Piven took his doctors' advice that he should end his run immediately because of a high mercury count, the paper quoted a spokeswoman for the actor.

In response, Mamet said: "I talked to Jeremy on the phone, and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury," Mamet told Daily Variety. "So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."


I couldn't have said it better myself.

It was a deathly slow in Hollywood shenanigans this week, but as always, let's end with a gold image or two:



I was never a Boy Scout, thus anyone who can tie a knot always earns a healthy amount of respect from me. That being said, be careful not to tie yourself in knots today, always stretch your back before engaging in playtime and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

19 comments

  1. Heff Says:
  2. Alright. Let's have a little "Post Jacking 101" before the Holidays !


    Hell, I'd love to be Tara Reid's addiction.

    Scarlett Johansson could pinch a protein biscuit, and I'd consider buying it.

    Again, I can not imagine a life richer than one NOT involving Madonna.

    JLo's ring probably just fell down her ass crack. They'll find it in a few years.

    Ashley Simpson ? I think the verdict is still out on Wentz's sexual preference, myself. If the guy wears more make-up than the girl, well....

    Lohan's wearing a rainbow colored dress....how fitting.

    Piven The Thermometer ? Maybe he should stick himself up....Oh, nevermind.....

    As far as the gold image goes, I'm feeling a little tongue-TIED, and have a KNOT in my pants !

    Have a GREAT Holiday Season, BDS !

     
  3. JLee Says:
  4. lol Heff! You blogjacker you. haha
    I can't follow that act. I'll just say I'm laughing at where the pic came from "hogtied.com" Should be an interesting site. ha
    Have a great weekend.

     
  5. Heff - I hate to have to censor you . . . Ha. Fortunately, I'm good with the post jacking as the quality is high. SO, it's been forever since Reid looked good at all, I also love Johansson, excellent theory about J Lo's ring, I have a strange thing for Ashlee Simpson that I can't entirely explain, Ha on Lohan (missed that connection) and glad the final images moved you. Have a hell of a good holidays yourself. Ho, ho, ho.

    Jlee - The detail is pretty astounding, eh? I was wondering if anyone would notice that site name. Ha. I'm not going to discuss what I was doing there, but I think I believe it would teach me to tie up a wild hog. I could be wrong. Happy Friday.

     
  6. I should watch Scarface again. It's been a while for me too.

    Who is that old guy Tara is pretending to smile next to in that shot?

    I wonder how much that tissue would be worth is Scarlett stuffed it between her legs instead.

    I don't care how much Guy Ritche is getting. There isn't enough money in the world to make me plunge my pencil down that mineshaft.

    Marc Anthony is right to tell her to cover up. If I was married to the woman every man on Earth thinks about when whacking off, I would make her cover up too.

    Fall Out Boy sucks. Ashlee Simpsons sucks. It's the perfect pair. Let's just hope their offspring doesn't go into the music business.

    I got nothing on Lohan right now expect to say that dress is giving me a seizure.

    I'm bored of Jeremy Piven and David Mamet is one of the most over-rated writers in the world.

    Where do you find these photos? That chick tied up four ways. Wow.

    Merry Christmas!

     
  7. Paco Says:
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.  
  9. Boxer Says:
  10. yeesh, EVERYONE is 'jacking your Friday posts now... ahahahahah.

    I got nothing after Heff and WIGSF's comments, but is it bad that I hope Jennifer Lopez does leave the very creepy Husband?

    Have a great weekend.

    (Paco jacked MY comment, so I deleted. :-)

     
  11. TROLL Says:
  12. Dignified. Silence. Madonna.

     
  13. Wendy Says:
  14. Does the divorce mean Madonna has to give up her British accent?

     
  15. WhatIgot - It's got its moments yet I found Pacino to be such an unrelententing scumbag that it's hard to watch it since it runs nearly 3 hours! As for the rest, Tara probably doesn't know except that he just bought her a drink, for $80 million I might put in a few years with Madonna, I've never listened to Fall Out Boy but will accept your word on them, Piven is good at that one role he plays and I enjoy Mamet better than many. Finally, it's sometimes difficult on the final pics, but I sacrifice and search.

    A.B. - I've inspired a legion . . . Ha. I appreciate the detail with everyone. And Paco can gobble attention like Tic Tacs, so I don't blame you. Also, I think Marc Anthony is one ugly bastard, which is neither here nor there I guess. Have a great weekend yourself.

    TheTroll - I try to practice dignified silence, however, I sometimes fail miserably. But it's a fine idea for everyone to try, eh?

    Wendy - Don't worry, it only comes and goes anyway, although when it comes it does give me great pleasure in laughing at it.

     
  16. idobcool Says:
  17. Ebay usually enforces their "No selling bodily fluids" rule.

    They've shut me down time and time a gain when I try to sell my used tissue.

     
  18. Linda Says:
  19. Our company makes a product that boasts pop culture logos and artwork. We haven't seen any orders for Scarface in months. Then today, in an emergency Christmas order, there he was... Then on QHF, there he was.... freaked me out a little.
    A few thoughts:
    Why is anyone interested in Reid or Lohan?
    Why is anyone interested in Johansson's snot?
    What will Madonna miss more, her husband, her money or neither?
    Happy Friday ... 8 inches of snow here so far ... hohoho!

     
  20. Miss Ash Says:
  21. Maybe Hef and WIGSF want to be writers on your blog?? Ha!

    Have a great weekend! Unfortunately we're in the middle of a snow storm :(

     
  22. Romany Angel Says:
  23. Well I feel quite inadequate after all those stellar comments so all I will say is I plan to visit that hogtied.com and see if I can further my education on knot tying. I wonder what you get if you pass with honours?

    Have a great weekend B and enjoy not having any business functions to try to escape from. Hey and you get to use your own bathroom...that has to be a bonus.

     
  24. Idobcool - Man, the double standards that exist these days. Keep fighting the good fight & use Johansson as an example.

    Linda - I would actually like to see a little snow down here as long as there was no ice with it. I agree about Reid and Lohan, think that something must be up with these 'Scarface' coincidences and I bet Madonna misses her money far more (though you 'neither' answer might be most accurate).

    Miss Ash - Ha. I know as I'm thinking of having them as guest writers whenever I'm on vacation so QHF lives & lives. Who knows, eh? Sorry about the storm as I heard there are some nasty ones running around out there. It as 70 degrees & muggy today in Austin.

    Romany Angel - They both had many good points to add. And please share if you end up finding out any advanced theories on hogtied. Ha. Finally, I was thinking the exact same thing about the bathroom, and I'm thinking 2009 will be much safer in that regard. I hope.

     
  25. vivavavoom Says:
  26. omigod...now i have heard everything....hollywood stars are blaming mercury toxicity for not showing up and working. jeremy piven is a tool!!

     
  27. Not only is it amazing that Lindsay Lohan still requires security, but also that a 38 year old man was trying to get close to her. Isn't he a little too old to care about Lindsay Lohan?

    In a related story, I had another close encounter with celebrity a week ago at the Hard Rock Casino. I went to a concert with some friends, and when I came out I literally bumped elbows with Luke Wilson, except I didn't notice because I was checking out the gorgeous blonde he was with. I've still got my priorities straight.

     
  28. If you can call Luke Wilson a celebrity that is.

     
  29. slopmaster Says:
  30. this is one of the longest lists of news in a while. Things are busy in the US.

     
  31. Vivavavoom - I have a feeling that Piven got a little to full of himself after "Entourage," but this story definitely makes him sound like a tool. No question.


    Native Minnow - I tend to like Wilson as he seems like a laid-back guy who obviously enjoys the spoils of fame (witness blonde you reported). I'm also surprised I haven't bumped into him as he hangs out in Austin a fair bit, so I'll keep an eye out in the future. And yes, I agree about Lohan as that guy is far too old and obviously demented to be roaming the streets looking for her.

    Slopmaster - There was a lot going on, but it's too bad it was mainly boring. Ha. Must be the time of year, eh?

     

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